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View Full Version : I Just Cant Get Her Out Of My Head.


Sunny_ME
Aug 15, 2013, 03:03 PM
Guys its complicated and I need help.
I have been in a relationship for 4 years.I freaking loved her like crazy.I was so much in love with her that I left every other relation.and due to some issues we broke up.she moved and got engaged and I got engaged as well but the prob is I still love her like crazy.I have done every damn thing to avoid her but she is always on my mind and its effecting my professional and personal life.I still try to talk to her but she is not much interested.and it makes me sick
Please tell me what to do.I need help.I want to move on or I need her back.but neither seems to be happening right now.

N0help4u
Aug 15, 2013, 03:33 PM
Give it time and realize she must not have been that amazing that she went and left you go. You need to stop, take a deep breath and look at the situation now and how it is effecting everyone and everything around you. Its not fair to you, your girlfriend, your work or your life to dwell in the past and what could have beens...
Think more of building your life on the here and now

Jake2008
Aug 15, 2013, 05:10 PM
If you are engaged, and your ex is engaged, and you are so emotionally tied to a relationship that no longer exists, I suggest you get counseling to sort this out, before you get married.

I am so confused as to how long you have been with your fiancé.

Why do you think you can't let go, and let the past stay in the past?

Homegirl 50
Aug 15, 2013, 06:08 PM
Why are you still trying to talk to her and you're engaged? That is messed up. Break your engagement and get your head on straight! Why did you get engaged to begin with? Get some counseling so you can move on.

Sunny_ME
Aug 16, 2013, 04:02 AM
Yes its effecting everything around me and I can't even think about anything else.I just keep waiting for her text.and when she calls me I scold her for not giving me time and I hate myself for doing this.I even changed my country and moved somewhere else to forget her but them still back there.
Its been 8 months I am engaged and I just don't love my fiancé.she is a wonderful girl but I just can't give her that place.

N0help4u
Aug 16, 2013, 05:12 AM
Its been 8 months I am engaged and I just don't love my fiancé. She is a wonderful girl but I just can't give her that place.[/QUOTE]. The 8 months doesn't bother me so much.
The fact you know you don't love her you are. 'setting for ' which is not fair to this girl and is only going to cause problems.

LadySam
Aug 16, 2013, 05:59 AM
I see two problems here.
1) your continued contact with the ex.-You need to make a clean break
2) The unfairness toward your new fiance'- No doubt she is hanging future hopes and dreams on this relationship and to continue to carry on this relationship will only cause her heartache.(if it hasn't already)

You have not healed from the former relationship, that is the first thing you need to do. No contact, it is over, put it in the past.
Be up front with the fiance' you say she is a wonderful girl, she deserves "that place."
If you can't give that to her, then she deserves the chance to be with someone who can.

Jake2008
Aug 16, 2013, 06:30 AM
I didn't realize you were not in love with the woman you are currently engaged to. That is enough reason to break off the engagement, regardless of anything else.

That is the most pressing, immediate, necessary, and right thing to do. It is a very rotten thing to do to a woman, and certainly changes my opinion of you.

You want to move on, which is untrue.

Moving on means leaving both women alone. The one you are engaged to, and the one that you are crazy about. Neither are deserving of your secrets.

If you need help- get it. There are reasons (I suspect) that the one you long for, has decided to marry another man. I doubt that your relationship with her would have lasted based on you not being together now 'because of some issues'. They must have been serious, and certainly serious enough that she moved on, and is marrying someone else.

You are history to the ex, and should be history to your fiancé. I do hope you get help in dealing with how to go about letting BOTH go.

Homegirl 50
Aug 16, 2013, 06:39 AM
You need to be honest with your fiancé and break off the engagement. What you have done to her is just wrong! Stop bugging your ex and get some help. You sounds like an extremely selfish person.
I can't imagine either of these women wanting to have anything to do with you.

Sunny_ME
Aug 17, 2013, 02:39 AM
I didn't do it purposely. I was all heart broken and desperate to move on.and she held my hand.and I thought this is it.I can move on with her.there were no bad intentions.I just wanted to love my fiancé and let my ex go.but its just isn't happening.I was never a bad person but this situation has turned me into a negative personality for my ex.
And I was a bad guy with a flirty attitude before I met my ex.it may sound like a movie but she actully changed me and made me fall for her.there was a past that I didn't tell her about,fearing that I might lose her.but I was gathering the courage to tell all that to my ex so I could marry her.but some jealous friend of mine told her everything.and she never listen to me again.the point is I changed for her.and I just wanted her to be with me.

Jake2008
Aug 17, 2013, 05:41 AM
The first point that matters, is that you are an 'ex', and will remain that way.

The second point is you do not love your fiancé, and that won't change if you keep stringing her along and go through with a marriage.

I don't know why you aren't getting this, or showing any understanding or insight into your situation.

You need to seek help. Therapy will help you see a bigger picture that you can live with and it will also help you to stop wallowing in the 'what could have been's'.

That you don't see what is wrong with pretending to love a woman enough to become engaged to her, is truly alarming. I don't think you have any intention of marrying your fiancé and this is most likely a situation where you thought your ex would come running back to you if you were engaged to someone else.

Whatever games you are playing have to stop. Seriously. Get the help you need to get off this twisted road.

Homegirl 50
Aug 17, 2013, 07:14 AM
I didnt do it purposely. i was all heart broken and desperate to move on.and she held my hand.and i thought this is it.i can move on with her.there were no bad intentions.i just wanted to love my fiance and let my ex go.but its just isnt happening.i was never a bad person but this situation has turned me into a negative personality for my ex.
and i was a bad guy with a flirty attitude before i met my ex.it may sound like a movie but she actully changed me and made me fall for her.there was a past that i didnt tell her about,fearing that i might lose her.but i was gathering the courage to tell all that to my ex so i could marry her.but some jealous friend of mine told her everything.and she never listen to me again.the point is i changed for her.and i just wanted her to be with me.
What does this have to do with how you are treating your fiancé? This is a bad way to treat a person. You are engaged and still trying to talk to your ex. That is cruel and selfish.