My boyfriend is gone for camp for a 8 days. This camp has a strict "no cellphones allowed" rule, so my boyfriend cannot contact me at all until it is finished. The camp is very outdoor-oriented although they have a lot of safety measures, I still feel pretty paranoid. It has been 4 days since he's been in camp, and I each day I get more and more worried. It's to the point where I find myself crumbling into tears, and I can't get on with my life. It's almost as if I have mentally accepted that I've lost him.

I know this part will make me sound a little creepy, but I constantly check whether his brother is active on Facebook, because in my mind, if something did happen, his brother wouldn't be on Facebook. I also check the camp's official page to make sure no one is hurt. I do this almost compulsively every hour or so.

I seriously need help. For God's sake, it's one freaking week! I've never felt so helpless and angry with myself before and I don't know how to deal with it. How do I stop these thoughts?

Having something to do to occupy your time would help. How old are you both?

How old is your boyfriend and what type of camp is it? What are the most probable threats to his safety?

Are you really worried about what might happen to him or is this the longest you have gone without contact? If he were safe inside a hotel room watching TV, but not able to communicate with you, would you have the same reaction?

Many times our brains will focus on a detail to keep us from thinking about a different issue. While part of you is concerned about his safety it may not be as big as the part that is longing to communicate with him wants you to think it is.

You need to get your mind occupied and off 'what ifs'. Stop checking Facebook. Give yourself distractions. Go out with your friends. Take this time to do something you normally don't when he is around, but you enjoy.

Having something to do to occupy your time would help. How old are you both?

We are both in our early twenties


How old is your boyfriend and what type of camp is it? What are the most probable threats to his safety?

He's in a program called outward bound, situated in Hong Kong, what made new nervous was the fact that a pretty severe typhoon just came by, it's gone today, but I'm still pretty worried

It sounds like a program designed to help him. I am sure that they will do their best to keep him safe and with the typhoon gone, Im sure he will call when he can. It may be that he can't yet. Give it a little more time.
Is there a contact you can reach? At the corporate level? Maybe contact the local police in hong kong, that can let you know if he is on the list of injured or dead?

Are you really worried about what might happen to him or is this the longest you have gone without contact? If he were safe inside a hotel room watching tv, but not able to communicate with you, would you have the same reaction?

Many times our brains will focus on a detail to keep us from thinking about a different issue. While part of you is concerned about his safety it may not be as big as the part that is longing to communicate with him wants you to think it is.

You need to get your mind occupied and off of 'what ifs'. Stop checking Facebook. Give yourself distractions. Go out with your friends. Take this time to do something you normally don't when he is around, but you enjoy.

It's true, this is the longest I have gone without contact. You've really given me some well-needed perspective. Thank you!

As an old person, I am in constant puzzlement about the amount of phone contact young people feel compelled to have. I see the texting and hear the calls everywhere I go, and there does seem to be an obsessive element. Where are you now, what are you doing now, I'm turning the corner, very boring stuff.
My suggestion is to consider this a test, very similar to Outward Bound. It will strengthen you, as he is being strengthened. And think back to when your grandparents (my age) were 20 - we had very little opportunity to get to a phone. Think back to the times when the men went off to war or to seek their fortune or to hunt, and didn't come back for YEARS!
I hope that is some consolation.

First Hong Kong is OK, I will be there Saturday,

This is a sign of what could be a serious issues, first you need to have a life, outside of him, where are your friends, why are you not doing things to keep busy.

Why are you not chatting with his brother, if you are worried, just talk to the brother.

Next if you are his girlfriend, the family would call you if something happened.

Next the program is very safe, heat exhaustion is about the worst thing this time of year. And sun burn, but they keep a close eye on that.

As an old person, I am in constant puzzlement about the amount of phone contact young people feel compelled to have. I see the texting and hear the calls everywhere I go, and there does seem to be an obsessive element. Where are you now, what are you doing now, I'm turning the corner, very boring stuff.
My suggestion is to consider this a test, very similar to Outward Bound. It will strengthen you, as he is being strengthened. And think back to when your grandparents (my age) were 20 - we had very little opportunity to get to a phone. Think back to the times when the men went off to war or to seek their fortune or to hunt, and didn't come back for YEARS!
I hope that is some consolation.

You're quite right. I've been spoiled by technology. Thanks, I will keep what you said in mind.