We first met when I was 14 and he was 18. Yes I know bid difference in maturity. But actually he was the imature one. He kept trying to be with me. I was young and just wanted to be a kid. He was my new neighbor and was always outside talking to girls. I didn't care cause I wasn't much interested I never had a boyfriend but had a lot of guys that liked me. I wasn't the popular kind of kid at all I was shy but funny wheni met the person but mostly I kept to myself and close friends. When I went to the 9th grade my first year of high school I accepted him. I had never kiss before so I made him hold on on that. When he would invite me somewhere there was always a problem, he would spend our time checking out other girls and I mean staring themdown like not nomal. This happened while I'm holding his arm or hand. How emberresing. After a few months we proceed to become more intimate. Onetime we where talking at my house and our neighbor who was like tripple D breast size with a one or two year old child walked by he litteraly Left me to go and talk to her and I was there just watching feeling stupid I couldn't believe it. He was dflirting with her after a while she left. I felt like crap. I was I teen barely developing and he would always compare me to other girls saying they where better. One time we got on the bus a girl wearing a kirt was in the back I didn't think anything of it
When she was on her way to get off he stopped her in the hallway of the bus by kneeling to the floor and looking up and down at her. I was so hummiliated he still denies it and acted like he was mad. I could go on and on. He was always in a journey to hurt me. I had eyes for only him and a lot of my guy friend who liked me I stopped talking too out of respect for him. But he never return any respect. I told him how it hurted him I broke up with him but allways beg me to stay. But never ever till this day has appologize and that's all I wanted and needed to know he cares. After a year I was pregnant when I had the baby he told me he would take the baby to the mall to pick up on girls. I gained so much weight with the pregnancy. He alwaysade me feel ugly and unwanted. I didn't have anyone to hear me out I was all alone inthos world my mom was a really bad mom who di don't much care about me and my sibblings. I had already came from a bad childhood with no communication. He convonce me I was ungly and worthless. He would never deffend me one time o was like 8 months pregnant his brother who is older than us called me fat and nuckle punch me on my arm in front of him leaving me with a brooze. He never deffended me. I believe he stayed with me to bother his family since the sister and mom didn't like me because the sis chose to get married on my 15th birthday. And he shose to go with me
But to be honnest I think he did it to piss them off. We now have 3 children but he has always done same patters over the years I have felt so low I've actually drown myself in liquor I've cheated. Ive hit him but nothing has relive this pain. I feel worthless this is not how I vision my life I feel I took the wrong turn with him. I mean I would still have prpblems with any other man. He was just targeting to hurt me. I have a big problem with him looking at girls and he knows that well tecently found some porn history on his phone. I hate myself so much I want to die. He has hurt me deeply. Should I continue with him? I am now 28 &him 32. With 3kids. But I am always having all of this in my mind and it bring me down every time like if it was the first time. He says he loves and this is ever since we starteded toguether. I just need help. Please help. I need someone to help me cope and understand me
Im tired of my life besides my children I hate my life I feel so ugly horrible and disgusting. It all has been fake I have to act like I'm happy but am not. I don't understand why he stoodwith me but I think for the kids. Though he says he loves me and shows me in different ways but the pain of verbal abuse just doest go because he still hurts me with his careless acts.

Sounds like he let you go along time ago. You don't have any kind of relationship. How can he even with any caring good conscientious USE your baby to go to the mall to pick up girls! That is one of the lowest things I ever heard and I've seen it all and heard it all! You need to get yourself into a new situation, get self esteem and leave him in the dust. You can't build yourself esteem on others, you have to do it yourself. Same thing you can not let a guy tear you down like this. He is suppose to be your significant other and give you moral support. Not tear you to pieces.

Sounds like you never had him, he has always been free to do what he wanted.

He has mentally abused you the entire time, got you when you were too young to understand and trained you to accept this behavior.

You need to dump him fast and start a new life.

Now expect lots of promises and lies, from him, but his past should prove his heart

You should have left him a long time ago. What a creep! He trained you well though after all these years and three kids you have put up with this. Did you finish school, have any job training? It is time to free yourself from this mess.

Sounds like he let you go along time ago. You don't have any kind of relationship. How can he even with any caring good conscientious USE your baby to go to the mall to pick up girls!? That is one of the lowest things I ever heard and I've seen it all and heard it all! You need to get yourself into a new situation, get self esteem and leave him in the dust. You can't build your self esteem on others, you have to do it yourself. Same thing you can not let a guy tear you down like this. He is suppose to be your significant other and give you moral support. Not tear you to pieces.

He is such an idiot. He has proven how he feels about me. He has done everything in his power to bring me down and succeeded because I was too young and alone to defend my. I have stuck around to make it work and he threw them all away all those chances he didn't take. He took them for granted. And decided to hurt me more
The way you started this answer helped me see something I didn't before. He left me go a long time ago.

sounds like you never had him, he has always been free to do what he wanted.

He has mentally abused you
the entire time, got you when b you were too young to understand and trained you to accept this behavior.

You need to dump him fast and start a new life.

now expect lots of promises and lies, from him, but his past should prove his heart
You are so right he did start with his promises and lies. And yes after so many years he still says he is going to do better after he had all this time to do so. He waisted me away. I was so caring and friendly patient and just so innosent and have turn into a total witch because of all that I have bottled in to try to make ot work. He was always willing to make it work but for him that meant for me to take it in and deal with it on my own because he wasn't going to hear it. I am officially done with this. He has put me trough a lot and doesn't appreciate me. I been wantrd to yell the this to the whole world but don't to fake this happy couple. It is true about that saying that the girl wthat laughs the most cry's most at night. I guess I'm just covering up my true life identity. Thank you for understanding. That's all I wanted and needed to know it wasn't me.. like he always makes it to be like I'm just crazy.

We all wish you the best. Good decision.

You should have left him a long time ago. What a creep! He trained you well though after all these years and three kids you have put up with this. Did you finish school, have any job training? It is time to free yourself from this mess.
I have finished school and have work. I always helped in as much possible always behind him 100% but always just asked for him to jist keep to himself when he does things like that because I don't take it well sonve he has already hurte so much. But he still did this. I can't believe I was pregnant and he is looking through porn. Finally I figured out why he didn't touch me those months. When I confronyed him he said that he was just looking new ways to please me and that he just wanted to order some pills to help him with sex drive because he was feeling tired lately with less energy. And that a package its on its way. Ive been waiting for a week and nothing has arrived. He says that we have something and that it can't end because we do so much for each other. Yes he provides for is but I've work to. I cook I cleaned I've been there e for him matter what. Of course we have to play the part. Behindthe scence I'm sad upset and ready to burst in tears to know how far he is willing to counciously hurt me. He knows I'm hurting and not even try to solve it. He rather sweet it under the rug. He also says and has been saying it for years to win the arguments that he was a kid too at 18. But my answer always was, well other kids age didn't act as imature as him. Thank you for your respond I just needed someone to tell me that the feeling I was feeling was right and not just me