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View Full Version : Fiance' and Friend Issues. Please Help


rafiki101
Jul 20, 2013, 08:36 PM
All right So here is the scoop. My friend and her boyfriend witnessed a fight between my fiancé and I. Everybody has their issues so don't respond with don't be with him if he has laid his hands on you, because we both have shoved one another before and it doesn't bother me because we have worked through those issues already and that is besides the point. So anyway, I'm taking a walk with my friend yesterday and she tells me that A LONG TIME AGO my fiancé said things about our sex life behind my back at his job and says that if we ever break up he's going to go find the first piece of *** he can get.

I don't know if I believe this because it's coming from my friend and her boyfriend which by the way was in a mental hospital for a year so really... where is this coming from. They never hang out. Why would he pop off with saying that if he knew it would get back to me in the first place. Not only that she said that when we first got together (over two years ago) that he said if he wasn't with me he would go for someone like her. Why would she wait over two years to tell me all this. There is more but those are the two things that stuck out to me the most and ONE of them is lying to me and I have to let go of one of them. She has lied to me before, exaggerated the truth and he has lied to me once before as well. He has generally always been pretty respectful of me and I honestly can't see him saying these things.

We have spent everyday together since we met just about so I really don't know what to believe at this point. I have decided to put them in a room together so I can judge by there facial expressions and movements which one is lying. If one does not want to take part in this I feel as though I will know which one of them is lying. Does anybody have any tips on what I should do here. I love these two people both dearly and I don't want to lose the wrong person over dishonesty but I am going to have to say my goodbyes to one of them because I can't handle feeling betrayed and I demand to be respected. I wish I could get into more detail but unfortunately nobody would want to read all of that or this for that matter, but please if you have any ideas help me.

Anchikii
Jul 23, 2013, 04:47 AM
Umm,you know what? If you are really sure he loves u,than you should have no doubt about him.And that friend is maybe just jealous.In the most cases friends are jealous.She lied to you before,I can't understand how could you get over those lies? I would not believe her,especially knowing that she lied before.So,me voting to keep the fiancé,have a nice life,and get rid of that jealous firend (who is by the way a liar ;) ) you will see :) there are a lots of nice people who can you be friends with :) and the most important thing,try finding someone who won't be jealous :)

kctiger
Jul 23, 2013, 05:24 AM
I think putting them in a room together is foolish and altogether immature. If you can't trust either of them enough to make up your mind without coming to that, then I think they both need to go. Neither of these relationships sound all that healthy anyway.

talaniman
Jul 23, 2013, 07:45 AM
Why add more drama to this drama? Why even give this more importance than it really deserves? You deal with them both as they are and keep a proper perspective and not worry about the dumb stuff. Yes this is dumb stuff and it never occurred to go about your own business and enjoy it as the best alternative to gossipy snoops with hidden agendas trying to stir crap.

Oliver2011
Jul 23, 2013, 08:18 AM
Wow all of you sound like really fun people. Seriously though try having relationships that don't include drama. They are so much better. And typically being physically abusive doesn't tend to become a better situation as the relationship progresses. Good luck with all of that.

Jake2008
Jul 23, 2013, 10:56 AM
He doesn't need you physically shoving him, and you don't need him physically shoving you. And, you can't dictate what people are going to say in a reply to your question.

I would never, ever, chose a man, over a friend. She has everything to lose by telling the truth, and that includes your friendship, and nothing to gain, except the loss of a friendship if she does tell you.

He, on the other hand, who is already quite prepared to fight, at least verbally, in front of people, sounds as immature as you are, as you too are quite comfortable airing your dirty laundry in front of people.

That your friend has tolerated the behavior of both of you, says more for her integrity, than it does for you or your boyfriend. I would have dropped you long ago as a friend, simply because you are an embarrassment to be out in public with, and you have a very bad temper with a short fuse.

So, if you're lucky enough to have an honest friend, as I've said, I would believe her, over your fiancé. What she has done is given you warning that you are going to make the biggest mistake of your life if you stick with this man and marry him, because it won't last.

N0help4u
Jul 23, 2013, 04:30 PM
Guys say things they don't mean a lot of times, especially when you first get together and haven't really fallen that deeply in love with you yet. Is some of what she is claiming have to do with things he supposedly said recently? I'd ask her why is she telling you all this over a year later? Maybe she just doesn't want to see you get married? Jealousy can cause some people to say and do really strange and messed up things. I'd just take your relationship from where it is now and not look for drama