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View Full Version : How do I tell my mom that her 17 year old daughter needs a bra?


yellowdaffodil2
Jul 15, 2013, 09:45 PM
I am a 17 year old and I'm pretty ashamed to say that I still don't wear a bra. I never even had a training bra. I want to tell my mom but I'm too shy and afraid of what she might say. But I have asked her once when I was 15. I was like "Come on, [my name]! You can do this! Just take a deep breath, it'll be fine. You are a girl." I kept saying that to myself over and over again. So when I asked her ...

"Mom, shouldn't I need a bra? I'm 15 and my friends already had one when they were 11."

"I don't think you need one."

I told my mom how the mean popular girls at my school make fun of me of the way my boobs sag because of not wearing a bra. However my mother does not seem to care because all she did was shrug.

I told my best friend about this and she thinks its ridiculous. How could I have never wore a bra by the age of 17? My best friend started at 10. Plus I would be very embarrassed dating a guy and him noticing how my boobs sag through my shirt and that I don't have a bra. That would be humiliating.

Another thing, I never want to change in the change rooms for gym. Because then everyone will notice how I don't have a bra! The popular girls always gossip as regular popular girls do. If I am going to change for gym I will need to not show the fact I don't have one. We are also not allowed to change in the bathroom stalls which makes it even worse. Every gym class I get worried about changing in front of all the other girls. The only person I'm okay with is my best friend.

Is it normal to not have a bra at the age of 17? I really need to know!

Homegirl 50
Jul 15, 2013, 10:55 PM
Do you get an allowance or have a part time job? Buy one for yourself. As a mother of a daughter I find it hard to believe your mom does not know you need a bra unless you don't need one. I didn't wear one until I was 18 or 19. When you buy clothes do you go alone or does she go with you? Tell her you need a bra.

ScottGem
Jul 16, 2013, 03:22 AM
Now this one is ridiculous. First, let me say it doesn't matter when your friends got bras, everyone develops differently. But if your breasts sag, then you are past the time that you need a bra. There is something called a pencil test. If you place a pencil under your breast where the bottom of your breast joins with your body and the pencil is held in place by your breast, then you need a bra.

Take the test and tell your mother that you failed and you need a bra. If she still refuses, talk to a guidance counselor at school, become this comes close to abuse, at least negligence.

I do agree with homegirl, that, at 17 you should be able to buy your own.

Fr_Chuck
Jul 16, 2013, 06:47 AM
Tell her thanks for not making you wear a bra, the boys all love the way your >>>> shows.

Talk to a aunt, other adult that will need to go talk to her. At 17 perhaps wear one of moms, you may be same size by now

N0help4u
Jul 16, 2013, 06:54 AM
I was thinking along fr chuck reply about telling her the boys are staring

yellowdaffodil2
Jul 16, 2013, 10:55 AM
Do you get an allowance or have a part time job? Buy one for yourself. As a mother of a daughter I find it hard to believe your mom does not know you need a bra unless you don't need one. I didn't wear one until I was 18 or 19. When you buy clothes do you go alone or does she go with you? Tell her you need a bra.

Usually when we go shopping my mom comes with me, if not then I'm with my friends. And no I don't have an allowance or a part time job.

yellowdaffodil2
Jul 16, 2013, 11:00 AM
Now this one is ridiculous. First, let me say it doesn't matter when your friends got bras, everyone develops differently. But if your breasts sag, then you are past the time that you need a bra. There is something called a pencil test. If you place a pencil under your breast where the bottom of your breast joins with your body and the pencil is held in place by your breast, then you need a bra.

Take the test and tell your mother that you failed and you need a bra. If she still refuses, talk to a guidance counselor at school, become this comes close to abuse, at least negligence.

I do agree with homegirl, that, at 17 you should be able to buy your own.

I tried this test and I told my mom about it and she actually did say I don't need one then she told me to stop asking her if I need them because it has to be what she says, I don't.
So since it's the summer and there's no school councilors I might talk to my aunt when I get the chance.

ScottGem
Jul 16, 2013, 11:51 AM
Did you "fail" (the pencil stayed put) the pencil test? And she still told you you don't need one?

Yes talk to an aunt or someone else who can intervene. If you have to wait until school starts you might, or get a summer job and save up.

But frankly, your mother needs to wake up. Maybe she can't afford it, but you need proper undergarments. For her to deny them to you is negligence at least.

And you can print this out and show it to her.

Homegirl 50
Jul 16, 2013, 07:45 PM
Is there an aunt or a grandmother you can talk to. I don't understand a mom who would refuse her daughter a bra when she needs one. Have you thought about getting a part time job and buying one yourself?