Hi I'm 25 and I'm in love but my boyfriend hates me. Everyday its something new. Always being called a liar being accused of something. What should I do?

why does he hate me

Arossa Asked Today, 02:31 PM —
Hi I'm 25 and I'm in love but my boyfriend hates me. Everyday its something new always being called a liar being accused of something what should I do

With what little information you have given, I have a little bit of advice and a few major questions.

Loving someone does not mean you turn yourself into a target for the other person's bad/negative behavior. Your partner should enhance the love and positive feelings you have for yourself. If he is constantly accusing you of lying and other things you haven't done, then he is not someone you should be in a relationship with.

How long have you been a couple? How long has he been acting like this? Did something happen to trigger these accusations? Have you tried to talk to him about his behavior? Has he ever been physically violent?

Is this an accurate picture of him: He is a bully with a bad attitude and is close to (if he hasn't crossed the line) being an emotional abuser. He doesn't love you or care for you at all. He hates you and has no positive feelings for you.

If it isn't accurate, then what am I missing? What do you see in him what you haven't said?

If it is accurate, how do you feel about yourself? Why are you still with someone who is an abusive jerk?

If you feel like he hates you, then what you need to do is leave him alone. Let him find another victim to hurt. Take time to learn why you have allowed yourself to stay with someone like him. See what you need to change to help you feel stronger and healthier emotionally and mentally. What do you need to feel secure in yourself? What will help instill confidence in you so that you believe you deserve better treatment and to not put up with him or anyone else who treats you like he has?

Meeting new people and making new friends, catching up with old friends, getting involved in activities that make you feel good and positive about yourself are a few ways to give yourself support.

The stronger you are inside the more you will understand that love will come again. It will also help you see the difference between being in love with a person who loves you back and being in love with the idea of being in love. Sometimes we get caught up in the habit of thinking we love someone when the actual emotion died a long time ago.

Take care of yourself.

Well we have been together a little over a year the problem is I have a really rotten past and I lied about a few things in the beginning of our relationship I know I should have never lied to him about it but I was scared he would never be interested in someone with the past I have.
I really am in love with him and I have tried a million times to express how sorry I am for not being truthful with him about everything I have come clean about everything he has asked and will continue to for as long as we are together I explained to him why I wasn't honest with him and he just keeps on I told him that I feel if we are going to have a future together my past and his past should be left alone and left where it belongs in the past and now I can't pick up the phone go up town or have a conversation with my sister without him thinking I'm hiding something from him. He had never hit me but honestly some times I wish he would I know that sounds horrible but bruises go away the mean and hurtful things that the one person in the world I love says never goes away. Idk I just want it to stop but I don't want to loose him he is a very smart handsome and respected man but he has major anger issues and is very paranoid I wish I knew how to make him feel more secure in me.

I just want it to stop but I don't want to loose him he is a very smart handsome and respected man but he has major anger issues and is very paranoid I wish I knew how to make him feel more secure in me.
You know how to make it stop? Have nothing more to do with him! I don't care how handsome and respected he is -- he makes you feel worthless and used and he also takes out all his anger and controlling behavior on YOU. You are worth far more than that.

You should not be worried about how to make him feel better. HE should wonder how he can make you his princess.

One mistake was telling him about your past, whatever that was. It was before he came along and is none of his business. Don't ever do that with any future boyfriends. Even my husband of 46 years and I don't know anything about each other's past.

Quit bothering with him. When he asks tell him he sounds like he.'d be happier without you. Stick to your grounds and leave him. Why wait until it implodes and he leaves you??

Thank you so much for everything all of you. It seems like the only solution is the one thing I wanted to avoid but I don't know what else to do I love him but I guess that doesn't mean a whole lot if he doesn't love me equally..

Right, one-sided love is not real love.
You are groveling, I fear, and that brings out more anger in him.
You said you would rather he hit you than this! NO NO NO.
That's your worthless self talking. Get some self respect, self esteem back. If you never really had it, start now.
The alternative to verbal abuse isn't physical abuse.
The alternative is respect from others, and if he won't show any, then you get out of there fast.
You look him in the eye and say calmly 'The past is past. I've punished myself enough, and let you punish me too. I am packing to leave in 3 days. If you can show mutual respect 100% of that time, I will renew for 3 more days, but my bags will remain packed.'
I doubt that he can. I'm not sure you will have what it takes either. You have to mean it.

thank you so much for everything all of you. It seems like the only solution is the one thing I wanted to avoid but idk what else to do I love him but I guess that doesn't mean a whole lot if he doesn't love me equally..

Remember that thought.

You may have lied to him about your past. You owned up to it. You apologized and have tried to make it up to him. That is all you can do. You cannot make him do his part in rebuilding the trust. His part? Forgiving and letting it go. He hasn't. He has, instead, used it to emotionally control and abuse you.

Any male who makes you want to be hit because 'bruises fade' is not worth your time or love. His behavior is inexcusable.

You deserve someone who will be a partner. Someone who will love you as much as you love him. He is out there and he won't care about your past or if you tell him about it or not. All he will care about is building a future with you.

I will add that if your past bothers you and you are having a hard time letting it go, you might think about seeking counseling. It might help to keep you from repeating relationships like this one.

Good luck.

What a boob! And he makes a boob out of you to. If you cannot stand up for yourself, why expect him to stand up for you? Remove yourself from this situation and stop wasting time and love on this boob.

He simply doesn't deserve it and has issues he needs to overcome himself. You don't deserve this treatment, no matter your past. I believe if you have come to term with your past you wouldn't take this kind of abuse from anyone, let alone him. That not love.