Hi, basically I have been with my girlfriend for 3 and a half years, we are both nearly 21. I am at university in Chester and she lives in Sheffield. I go and see her whenever I can and distance is no problem, just makes us miss each other more.

Anyway, the other day she rings me crying and says she doesn't know what she wants right now and she needs time to think. It's not like I stop her from going out with friends or anything. She basically has a single life when she's with her friends, she doesn't have to worry about me because I don't care if she wants to go out and party, I'm in Chester, I can't be clingy. I just don't know what this means and what to do about it! She also says she still loves me and I love her so much!! Just wondering if anyone could help? X

She has given you limited information thus far so you will just be speculating as to what the meaning behind her statement is. It could be that she misses having you around more, it could mean that someone is paying her attention and she's being tempted to stray, it could mean she's been in that relationship so long that she's needing a break, or it could mean 18,902 other things.

Not being clingy is a good thing. It is really not attractive. Give her some space right now and just be there if she needs you.

Call me cynical but I am saying that 99% of the time, when you are told that they need space, it's because there is someone else in the picture that they are interested in.

Cynical!

:)

Whether she has her eye on someone else she IS questioning her future and if you are in it. Communicate more with her about where she sees herself in a few years. Often girls get in relationships and when the reality sets in they realize that maybe they want to have a career, live in a small apartment in the city, have a cat and no kids. If she knows you see your life different like a lot of kids, large house in the country, etc... she may feel that she will be holding you back or that her independence may suffer being in a relationship.

She may have found someone else. The best you can do is give her what she has asked for, space. Enjoy your life. Do things make friends, don't keep yourself in a closet while she makes up her mind. If someone wants space, they ought to be able to give you a solid reason why.

Give her what she asked for, plenty of space and time. She wants to explore and experiment on her own without a commitment to anything but herself. Let her. Yeah it sucks after 3 years, but don't just sit waiting and hoping as you are free to explore yourself,. after a proper healing that has plenty of good clean fun, with friends, family, and activities that you enjoy.

Take it as a break up that's permanent.

Those words are almost always a break up, she is trying to be nice about it, Perhaps she wanted more, than a long distance and wanted someone to be clngy some.

But normally it means she has found someone else she wants to date and wants a nice break up