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samroche
May 16, 2013, 05:01 AM
Do you share everything with your close friend?

smoothy
May 16, 2013, 05:02 AM
I don't share "everything" with my wife I've been married to for 22 years. You don't want "Friends" to know all your secrets and dirty laundry, because one day them might not be your friend.

samroche
May 16, 2013, 05:15 AM
Smoothy you didn't trust your wife?

smoothy
May 16, 2013, 05:22 AM
Smoothy you didn't trust your wife?

Trust has nothing to do with it... unless you are 12 years old there will be things in your past that should not be shared.

Would you tell your girlfriend all about your previous girlfriends and everything you did together (this makes more sense if you are an adult) .

If you are a girl would you tell your new boyfriend everything you did with previous boyfriends?

Do that and I guarantee you... there will be problems with MOST people.

What if you tell things embarrassing nobody else knew about you... to a friend... then something happens next year and you are no longer friends and they tell other people about these things... See my point.


Trust has nothing to do with it... Nothing that 2 or more people know can remain a secret. Someone might talk.

The difference here is the word everything... its way too encompassing.

samroche
May 16, 2013, 05:48 AM
Smoothy I agree with your this point "Do that and I guarantee you.....there will be problems with MOST people."

Oliver2011
May 16, 2013, 05:57 AM
I share everything with my partner.

samroche
May 16, 2013, 10:08 PM
Oliver as smoothy said yesterday, so I think we don't want to share everything with our partner.

Oliver2011
May 17, 2013, 05:20 AM
Oliver as smoothy said yesterday, so I think we don't want to share everything with our partner.

Um maybe you don't want to, but I do.

JudyKayTee
May 18, 2013, 08:05 AM
No, I don't share "everything." I share the present, not the past, unless it has an impact on the present. Then my partner and I talk about it.

If we are talking about "friends" and only "friends," no, I don't care where they've been, and they don't care where I've been. We have better things to talk about.

Does that make sense?

talaniman
May 18, 2013, 10:20 AM
Not unless my partner asks.

samroche
May 21, 2013, 10:18 PM
Oliver I think you trust on your partner too much. ;)

Judy if you share your present with the partner then you have to share past also. I think you got scared to tell the past to your partner.


Not unless my partner asks.

If she/he will ask then what will you do?

talaniman
May 22, 2013, 04:20 AM
Tell it like it is.

Oliver2011
May 22, 2013, 04:45 AM
Oliver I think you trust on your partner too much. ;)

Judy if you share your present with the partner then you have to share past also. I think you got scared to tell the past to your partner.



If she/he will ask then what will you do?

Excuse? If you can't trust your partner then who can you trust? Also my thought process when I got involved with my partner wasn't "I better not tell him this because we might break up one day."

Also assuming I've had 18,802,592 things happen to me in my life, I didn't sit him down to discuss every single one. If they come up, they come up. If they don't, they don't.

JudyKayTee
May 22, 2013, 08:00 AM
Oh, Oliver, I love it - like you I feel no need to say, "And then when I was 7 years old ..." and go through the litany.

If asked a direct question, I answer it. There are things in my partner's life which really are none of my business, have nothing to do with our relationship, don't affect our relationship, do not matter to me. This, of course, would not include prison records and addictions!

Likewise, if I have a question, I ask. Otherwise I think there's a difference between boring a person to death and discussing "past lives." I really aren't the same person today that I was when I was 20, so whether I danced in a fountain at 2AM is of little importance in our lives.

And, yes, now that you mention it - or I mention it - I did.

Oliver2011
May 22, 2013, 08:04 AM
Oh, Oliver, I love it - like you I feel no need to say, "And then when I was 7 years old ..." and go through the litany.

If asked a direct question, I answer it. There are things in my partner's life which really are none of my business, have nothing to do with our relationship, don't affect our relationship, do not matter to me. This, of course, would not include prison records and addictions!

Likewise, if I have a question, I ask. Otherwise I think there's a difference between boring a person to death and discussing "past lives." I really aren't the same person today that I was when I was 20, so whether or not I danced in a fountain at 2AM is of little importance in our lives.

And, yes, now that you mention it - or I mention it - I did.

Thank you for putting it in perspective. I started to think that sharing with Adam was a bad thing. But you are right, I don't bore him with trivial things and he doesn't either. But we have all known people who share every detail to the point where you want to pull your hair out.

samroche
May 24, 2013, 03:34 AM
Oliver I can trust at god & also my parents. :)

Oliver2011
May 24, 2013, 04:12 AM
Oliver I can trust at god & also my parents. :)

Well I wasn't eliminating those two entities. I was speaking about the relationship with your partner. You should be able to trust your partner with everything. That doesn't mean you tell your partner everything.

JudyKayTee
May 24, 2013, 07:04 AM
"Oliver I can trust at god & also my parents. "

You asked about friends - suddenly you've switched the categories of "people" you share with.

My answer stands.

odinn7
May 24, 2013, 07:58 AM
I trust nobody, except me.

Actually, I don't tell my partner or friends everything and here's why...

One day, there will be time travel. Now, if the future-me comes back to tell the present-time-me something important, I will need to test the future-me to be sure that he is really me from the future. I mean, how will I know if he is really the future-me or just some government agent trying to trick me? Well, I will test the future-me with secret questions that only the real me (present-time-me or future-me) would know the answer to. If I tell someone everything about me, I will have no secret test questions to ask the future-me to prove he is really me.

See? Simple.

Oliver2011
May 24, 2013, 08:00 AM
Beam me up Scotty.

I am a tell all book because frankly Scarlet, I don't give a damn...

odinn7
May 24, 2013, 08:01 AM
Beam me up Scotty.

I am a tell all book because frankly Scarlet, I don't give a damn...

You're going to be sorry when the future-Oliver comes back in time to tell you something and you will have no way of knowing for sure that it's really you... mark my words!

Oliver2011
May 24, 2013, 08:05 AM
As long as I don't sleep with him, what will I care?

odinn7
May 24, 2013, 08:07 AM
As long as I don't sleep with him, what will I care?

What if he's from the future trying to save you from a cyborg terminator... he will come to you and tell you and you'll be like, "right, right"... then the terminator will get you. BUT! If you could have some sort of proof it was really you, you might believe him and be saved.

talaniman
May 24, 2013, 08:08 AM
I trust nobody, except me.

Actually, I don't tell my partner or friends everything and here's why....

One day, there will be time travel. Now, if the future-me comes back to tell the present-time-me something important, I will need to test the future-me to be sure that he is really me from the future. I mean, how will I know if he is really the future-me or just some government agent trying to trick me? Well, I will test the future-me with secret questions that only the real me (present-time-me or future-me) would know the answer to. If I tell someone everything about me, I will have no secret test questions to ask the future-me to prove he is really me.

See? Simple.

You saw "Looper" with Bruce Willis huh?

To the OP Life is about expanding your circle of trust to build with another the life you want. Sometimes parents don't know what's best for you though they want the best, so maybe knowing what you want will help you plan to get it.

Big difference between life partners and a friend for life.

odinn7
May 24, 2013, 08:11 AM
You saw "Looper" with Bruce Willis huh?


I did. Thumbs up to you for that reference.

Oliver2011
May 24, 2013, 08:15 AM
I had high hopes for Looper and was disappointed. We all were.