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View Full Version : How to deal with my husband who has children outside marriage


mhataan
May 15, 2013, 01:10 PM
Ima married woman with 2 kids my husband cheated on me 1st time and he got a son with onother woman .He did not tel me until I gave birth to my first child.I forgave him and we move on with our life the baby mother is someone who is not over my husband she will do anything to have my husband`s attention she can even go further blocking him to see the boy.I was so nice to him I allowed him to pick his boy from school and baby sit the boy in our house weekend. After 5yrs of marriage he imp-regnant this woman again and claim that she played a trick on him he very sorry he was trapped ,he didn't want to have a child with this woman we had serious counselling. I loved my husband and I did not know what to do, since I have children with him I was stupid enough I forgive him again . We talked about going to court but he keeps saying the law in this country favours women he won't win and the will run away with the kids all he wants is just to be there for the kids. I tried to go with him to get the other child. And the women won't allow him to take the kid to our house I have refused to accept the other child because I feel he has disrespected me enough now the problem is every time he went to his kids I get very upset I don't know how to deal with this I want to stay in this marriage and have peace with no baby mother drama thanks .sorry too long

sassy712
May 18, 2013, 05:51 PM
Sounds like he is going back and forth. He is playing you both. She didn't twist his arm to sleep with her again. And him saying she tricked him? You are the crazy one that needs counselling if you believe that lame excuse. And not all courts favor the woman.. yes, they would much rather a child be with the mother, if she is fit. But even if he couldn't get custody, he would still get visitation rights if he is on the birth certificate as the father. Wake up lady...

Alty
May 18, 2013, 06:16 PM
Wow, he said she tricked him? He's a piece of work that one. How did she trick him into having sex with her again? Cheating on you again?

The fact is, he made his bed, and he is the father of these children. I understand why you're upset, and I would be too. Actually, I'd be upset but living in a different home, and he'd be visiting our children, as well as the children he made with the other woman.

The thing is, the children aren't to blame in all of this. This is all on your husband. He chose to cheat, not once, but twice, and I doubt that he's stopped. You chose to stay with him, which means you've accepted his behavior. So either you accept him, and the children he created with another woman, or you leave. The children shouldn't suffer because of your anger, especially since you chose to stay with him. That means you chose to forgive him. So you made your bed too.

I agree with the above poster, you really have to wake up.

sassy712
May 18, 2013, 07:33 PM
I just reread what I posted and I feel like I came at you a little strong. I apologize if I did. But Alty is right... these children aren't at fault for what their dad did. These children are innocent in all this. Whatever you decide to do, make sure the children does not suffer. You really need to decide what your going to do and stick to it. All of this is not healthy on these kids or your marriage.