I have really let myself down. I was with an ex boyfriend for a year or so but met this guy at work 2 1/2 years ago that instantly caught my eye. We really clicked and started emailing and texting each other all the time, so much so that I stopped liking my ex. I broke up with my ex because he stayed at a hotel with other girls and his friend but had a holiday coming up together so we still went. He wanted to try and sort things out and I ended up sleeping with him etc. I guess a part of me still liked him but I wasn't sure, maybe it was just for security or to fall back on. I told the guy I was seeing from work that I barely spoke to him on holiday as we had slept together once before I went on holiday with my ex and I started to really like him.

I also have a child that I didn't tell him about because he had always said that he would never be with someone with a child. I really started to like him though the more time we spent together and spoke the clearer feelings became.

I kept my ex on the side line as something to fall back on, speaking to him now and again, and ended up having sex with him once since I was seeing this other guy which I instantly regretted.

I tried to break up with the guy I was seeing but I couldn't I liked him too much. His company, personality, our sex life. It was so amazing.

The guy I was seeing found out that I had a child and accepted it and said he could understand why I didn't tell him. I couldn't believe it!

After that I cut my ex off because I knew how much I loved this man. This was a year ago now. He is so perfect for me in every way.

He recently found a sex video of me and my ex on holiday in my deleted items on my computer and text my ex from my phone pretending to be me asking when we last had sex. My ex basically said up until a few weeks before I went on holiday with my friends (which was a few weeks before the guy I'm seeing found out about my child). I honestly can't remember when it was I just know I regretted it.

I admitted to the guy I'm seeing that I kept him on the side line to fall back on because I didn't think he would ever accept me for having a child and lying and now I don't know if he will ever forgive me :(.

For the past year I have been so loyal to him and I love him so much, I don't know what to do? Is it too late now? He asked me to be his girlfriend 3 months ago and said he done this as he could see himself settling with me but now he doesn't know if he can ever trust me again. :( I honestly love this man and I truly never wanted to hurt him.

Honestly if I were you, I would try to explain to him... But if that doesn't work, than move on... That's his loss

Honestly if I were you, I would try to explain to him... But if that doesn't work, than move on ... That's his loss

I have but he said he finds it hard to forgive and isn't sure he can trust me again :(

I can't wade through what you wrote because I can't tell who is who and how many men. I'm not even sure what you lied about other than having a child. Why you admitted to keeping him on the side is beyond me. Some 'honesty' is best kept close to the chest.

You can't do anything about a big lie other than apologize over and over and take your lumps, and hope he will decide eventually to trust you again. Which many people won't do. You not only lied, you also told him he was second fiddle. I think I would have been out of there.
You live and learn for the next relationship.