View Full Version : Met someone new.
jjbunny
May 3, 2013, 01:58 AM
I met someone new in another state. He was very persistent at the beginning, we would talk many times a day and he told me how he was a hopeless romantic and how he was looking for something serious, wanted to get married and settled down. But after 2 weeks of exchanging innocent pics and talking about coming down to visit, things slowly died down to just texting. We rarely talk on the phone now but we text maybe like 3-4 text daily.
I have brought it up to him always saying he will call and doesn't, to his attention and he said his job is very demanding right now that's why he is still single, but thought I was worth it. He is a fire fighter and getting ready for his EMT examination next week. My issue here is, I have dated very busy men that put me to the side for their busy lives after making promises of how they value their relationships.
My issue here is do I just blow him off and don't give it a chance? If so how do I go about it.
smkanand
May 3, 2013, 07:50 AM
That's the issue with long distance relationship. He might want a serious relationship but he also looking for someone he can get close. After a time you will also realize need to see and get close to person besides text and sharing pics. I think to avoid further disappointment, leave it.
JudyKayTee
May 3, 2013, 07:54 AM
I see your question as what to do and how to "go about it."
I wouldn't give up on a relationship that you think has a chance. Maybe he's stressed. Maybe he's bored. Only time will tell. I think you are remarkably involved after being in contact for a very short period.
Could you just pull back, not hinge a lot on what he says, judge him by his actions?
I see no need to "end" something that at the moment is a loose friendship/relationship IF you feel you have the time and energy to see where things go.
Men who move very quickly frighten me and, yes, I've been in relationships where work suddenly becomes more important than the relationship. Don't let your past experiences scar you.
And if you do decide not to hang on, tell him what you've told us. Why not be honest?
I've been in 2 long distance relationships. One worked, one didn't.
And when it comes to advice from here or anywhere, consider the source. Ask for the person's experience. See where they're coming from.
Homegirl 50
May 3, 2013, 08:51 AM
You have only known this guy a short time and only by phone or text. Maybe he is busy. Take him at his word for now and back off a bit.
JudyKayTee
May 3, 2013, 09:04 AM
I just read past threads - I see a great deal of anxiety. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/he-wont-talk-me-734417.html
Bunny, I think you just need to take a deep breath and not rush things.
Homegirl 50
May 3, 2013, 09:18 AM
I agree with JudyKayTee.
Is this a different guy from the one in February? Don't rush things. Take your time. Desperation is a turn off.
talaniman
May 3, 2013, 04:44 PM
I think you have latched onto someone that has different priorities than building a relationship and it's a safe bet meeting others and dating for fun should be YOUR priority. It was way to soon to think this would lead to anything right now and it's a BIG RED FLAG that he is to busy to bridge the gap and actually meet you.
That alone would dampen my interest and lead me to seek romance, adventure and fun elsewhere. He can always call when he isn't too busy for you.
jjbunny
Jun 9, 2013, 03:16 AM
I have been dating a guy for about 2 months now, and things have started to go down hill after I told him we should be friends. Is it too late to tell him I am scared of relationships that's why I said that, or should I just leave him alone? I do like him. I need help please.
“Scared of relationships”? So how did you get through those 2 years?
Tell him if he thinks it was his fault, and forget about it if he moved on.
tickle
Jun 9, 2013, 06:30 AM
@Zea, OP said 2 months, not years.
Yes, I agree with Zea, poor guy probably thinks he did something wrong, so you have to set this right. Communication is key in any situation, you have to explain to him that it wasn't his fault and where that comment was coming from. If anything, just to clear the air cause it seems to be bothering you the way it was left.
Who knows, something positive may come of this !
Fr_Chuck
Jun 9, 2013, 06:43 AM
You have to tell him, and I agree, he most likely he did something wrong, and is confused
Homegirl 50
Jun 9, 2013, 07:07 AM
Just tell him, put his mind at ease. Then you get yourself together before you enter another relationship.
@Zea, OP said 2 months, not years.
Yes, i agree with Zea, poor guy probably thinks he did something wrong, so you have to set this right. Communication is key in any situation, you have to explain to him that it wasnt his fault and where that comment was coming from. If anything, just to clear the air cause it seems to be bothering you the way it was left.
Who knows, something positive may come of this !
Oh yeah! Months not years! Goodness what was I thinking? Thanks for the correction. I wasn't even thinking.
"-he most likely he did something wrong," Fr_Chuck, did you mean, "-he most likely THINKS he did something wrong,"?
The OP said: "i do like him-" I don't think the OP’s boyfriend/now friend did something to upset her.
talaniman
Jun 9, 2013, 02:39 PM
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/met-someone-new-747142.html
Same guy? How do you date long distance and without actually meeting?
jjbunny
Jun 9, 2013, 08:52 PM
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/met-someone-new-747142.html
Same guy? How do you date long distance and without actually meeting?
Same guy, we have met, I went to visit
jjbunny
Jun 26, 2013, 01:47 PM
Will a selfish lover ever change or is better to run early in the relationship?
odinn7
Jun 26, 2013, 01:53 PM
We don't know them so it's hard to say for sure but what I have learned throughout life... people seldom change.
If you're having trouble now, best to cut your losses and move on.
Homegirl 50
Jun 26, 2013, 01:58 PM
If you have spoken to him about it and he is still that way, it's best to move on. If this is at the very beginning of a relationship and he's selfish from the start, that is probably how he is.
jjbunny
Jul 11, 2013, 07:29 PM
was sleeping on a guy I have been dating for a couple of months and he kissed me 3x on my forehead but I felt him do it..
would it be a good idea to ask a guy why he kissed you on your forehead? And does a forehead kiss mean anything
Homegirl 50
Jul 11, 2013, 09:49 PM
What?
He kissed you on your forehead while you were sleeping on him?
Ask him what it means. Maybe he was trying to wake you up.
Fr_Chuck
Jul 12, 2013, 12:42 AM
Are you serious, I am still laughing, you are sleeping on him, and wonder what a kiss means,
It is a kiss, means he likes you, wanted to wake you up, maybe he wanted to make out, only he knows for sure, but if you are close enough to be sleeping with him, a kiss is the less of the issues
N0help4u
Jul 12, 2013, 05:47 AM
If you like him back then next time he gives you a quick hug give him a quick kiss on the jaw near his ear.
joypulv
Jul 12, 2013, 05:57 AM
From the sound of your first post almost 2 years ago, you are an adult, and yet have been asking extremely naïve questions about what men might be thinking.
I'm going to go way out on a limb here and assume that you two haven't had sex yet.
Isn't it possible that he is hoping you'll want it now, after dating for a couple of months?
You are the only one who can answer this though.
Homegirl 50
Jul 12, 2013, 08:24 AM
Is this the same guy in all of these post?
jjbunny
Jul 12, 2013, 11:15 AM
Is this the same guy in all of these post?
Am sorry my posts have been a bit confusing, but the last guy did not work out, and I have been working this out with the guy that has a busy chedule with his restaurant. And things have been great
JudyKayTee
Jul 15, 2013, 09:16 AM
I sense an air of desperation to be in a relationship. Aside from your "love life", how is your life?
And, yes, you seem terribly naïve. I don't know if that's good or bad, but I do know you can get hurt, very hurt.