I am currently unemployed and act almost like his wife. I cook, wash his dishes and laundry, fulfill his sexual needs (which can be morning and night)... He is still paying for his own nice apartment that he doesn't utilize (I hate this, but he won't let it go for a few reasons) while he's always at my place. He's literally lived with me since December of last year, but I only started charging him rent last month. The amount of rent plus utilities I charge is only a fraction of his apartment dues. Lately this thought has been bothering me more and more, I feel that I'm being taken advantage of. Is it really unfair, or am I being resentful? Sometimes he suggests to go half and half on expenses, but I don't think this concept is always fair because I am the one who put a large down payment on the house and furnished it. And besides, he earns a lot of money, much much more than me when I do work, and at the present I'm struggling financially. We do love each very much and we see ourselves getting married in near future. I don't want to ask for money and allow him think I'm a gold digger. So recently I told him that he's an added burden to me and I asked him to move back to his apt while we continue to date. Please let me know your thoughts and give suggestions what I should do or how I should talk to him. I'm really stressful right now due to a few other problems that I'm dealing with (divorce, getting a rental property that is out of whack ready for sale).

Although I do understand the complicated feelings (love vs financial fairness), I think it's our job to tell you to put your foot down. You just need to do it at a time when you aren't bursting with pent up resentment over all the sex and maid service, never mind the strictly money part. Take a deep breath and admit to yourself that YOU allowed things to get this way, and that you have to take responsibility for that.
Plan what you say, in fact write it down in a letter and memorize it. Keep it to the essentials. Don't leave options open; state what is going to happen or else the relationship is off - and mean it. If you want him to give up his place, say so. If you want to marry now, say so. If you want more because of maid service, say so. Know what you will do to protect your property if you do get married, in terms of divorce in your state. It's not cold hearted to be prepared. He may make more than you but you are the one with property. Maybe even see a financial planner.

(In fairness to his side of this story, there does seem to be some confusion about what he has offered to chip in on vs what you are charging him and feeling resentment about. I understand that you put down a big down payment, but unless you are going to add him to the deed, you don't want to go there.)

Any relationship is only as good as how you communicate honestly to resolve the differences between you both, that benefits you both. So talk honestly and air your concerns, and listen to his. No you don't get compensated for maid and stud service, that's voluntary, as is the down payment for an apartment in your name.

So my suggestion is to communicate honestly, and don't make your personal choices and issues an obstacle to what's fair, and shared. That also applies to the level of commitment agreement between you. Recognize your personal finances are in flux, and unstable, while his are not, and that's where how you handle your resentment plays a big part in both of your decision going forward.

Bottom line he is likely watching you before he gets in too deep to get out at the first sign of being unwilling to face the facts and get a resolution. I would be, especially if you refused my offer to go half on YOUR living expenses and told me to go home and just date.

Clearly you need to handle your own personal business as its seriously undermining your relationship. So talk and listen in a VERY honest way, and lay the whole thing out and see what he thinks. Calmly and rationally. If you can't work together you work apart.

To expect him to change his life and give up his apartment is unreasonable at this stage of the game given the great uncertainty of how this relationship will work. As a guy splitting the living expenses 50/50 is fair, but the rest of your finances are your own. My stuff is MY business.