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miumiupumpkin
Apr 27, 2013, 12:11 PM
I have been dating my current boyfriend for 6 months, and although is has not been long, but I know he is the one. I've had many past relationships in the past, and that contributes to this story.

Recently, my boyfriend's self esteem and confidence has been affected, and out of no where, he has brought up questions about our relationship. He has accused me of wanting to be with him, only because someone else had turned me down initially, and although I had denied it, he has called me a liar. It is true I had lied to him once before, but now, I am not. Although I denied it, he still accuses me of lying. He had broken up with me a few days before, and we got back together.

He still feels insecure and flares up from time to time, and says hurtful things like, "maybe, I can find someone who will love me for me", and "you are a mistake and regret", and "i should have broken up with you way before".

Although, when I ask him if he would be happier without me, he explains that he is happy now, but if only we had started differently, things would be different now. Just recently, he has threatened that "things will be different from now" in our relationship, to not ask him how or why, but it will.

I understand where his insecurities come from, and I understand why he would not trust me. I have apologized over and over again, but he just gets angrier. I honestly, do not know what to do anymore. Would it be best if I let him go to find someone better? I do sincerely want this relationship to work, but it feels that he does not want this anymore.

talaniman
Apr 27, 2013, 01:30 PM
Yes he does want it to work but with you filled with guilt and shame and eager to please. Only by you putting up with his crap will it work for him. That means YOUR confidence and self respect and esteem has to be damaged as much has his is.

Stop allowing his crap, and it is TOTAL CRAP, can that change, and that means standing up for yourself. He is only the one if he changes into the one and I seriously doubt he will, so top thinking of him that way so you can protect yourself from his idiocy. I think you should recognize after only 6 months, you are still learning how big an idiot he really is and it does get worse.

Homegirl 50
Apr 27, 2013, 06:44 PM
Seems like he enjoys making you feel two inches tall and you let him. That does not sound like a healthy relationship. He either trust you or he doesn't. Tell him that and if he says he doesn't, then leave him. His behavior is immature and manipulative and that is too much drama for a 6 month relationship.