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View Full Version : Should I have sex?


Double H
Apr 17, 2013, 07:05 PM
I'm only 15 and I am a guy. I don't plan on doing anything right now but I was just curious what I should do if anything where to happen? I understand how to use a condom and the risks of having a baby. I just want to know if you guys/girls think it might be OK to consult in sexual intercourse ( obviously with someone not 17+ considering they would be charged with rape).

teacherjenn4
Apr 17, 2013, 07:07 PM
If you aren't ready to be a parent, then my answer to you is NO!

dontknownuthin
Apr 17, 2013, 07:21 PM
You know, at 15, you really aren't ready for a lot of reasons and neither are any of the girls you might have as partners. First, you put yourself at risk for getting diseases. Imagine THAT conversation with mom - the, "I had sex and now every time I pee it burns" or the, "I have a weird wart on my penis". You need to be old enough before you have sex that you can at the very least go to the doctor on your own, without concern that your parents will be told everything you discuss with the doctor - that would be at the age of 18.

Another thing to consider is that for boys, sex is really physical and is kind of like something you feel challenged to do. If you feel pressured to have sex, hell - do what most boys do and lie about it. Make up some girl from camp or from when you were on vacation with your parents and tell the guys all the exciting details you want. Your virginity is nobody's business but your own and if scoring is critical for your social credibility in school, make it up - just don't say it about any REAL girl, which is cruel as it will ruin her reputation. You don't have to actually have sex for the guys to think you did. I'm not a big advocate for lying, but I'm all for it in this situation.

For girls, sex is really emotional. Giving our virginity to a boy or man is a REALLY big deal, which we attach to words like ENGAGED and MARRIED. You are at least ten years away from even considering those things. If you get a girlfriend and have sex with her at 15, I can guarantee you two will break up. It will be too much, too soon and will put a terrible strain on the relationship.

The other thing you should know is that condoms break. A lot. They also fall off, particularly with people who are inexperienced with sex. You can't rely on them 100% to prevent pregnancy and the girl also needs to be on birth control. You can't rely on her birth control 100% either to prevent pregnancy. The thing is, girls forget to take the pill sometimes, then it's no go for the whole month. They might not remember that they forgot - they miss a day and suddenly, you're a dad at 16. Sometimes they take it but not at the same time every day. Or they take some antibiotics or other medicine and it makes the pill ineffective. Lots of birth control methods have failure rates. Most are over 90% effective, which means 1 to 10% of the folks get pregnant!

What you need to understand is that when condoms and other birth control were developed, they were intended to help married people manage the growth of their families. The use wasn't for this narrow market for only moral reasons. It's also for practical reasons because they don't always work.

Bottom line is that you shouldn't have sex until you're ready to be a dad. That's hard to hear when you are 15 and ready to role physically. But that's the truth. Until then there's much you can do with your clothes on. There's masturbating. Making out. Just keep the pants on and you will not get a disease and will not have a baby in high school.

You are at a really dangerous age - temptations everywhere. Texting and driving, drinking before you're legal, cigarettes, drugs, sex, associating with the wrong people... so many ways to go down the wrong road. Put yourself and your future goals first and make sure that nothing you choose will jeapordize anything you want long term for a short term thrill.

Trying a drug now can result in a lifelong addiction.
Trying alcohol now can result in not getting a driver's license until 21, and if you're driving could cause you to kill yourself, your friends or strangers.
Having sex can ruin a young relationship, put too much pressure on your girlfriend and result in a baby and possibly sexual diseases.
All these risky behaviors can hurt your relationship with your parents and the trust the put in you, and can keep you from achieving your goals.

So no - don't have sex. Don't believe other guys are having sex either. If they say they are though, don't challenge them - they are just dealing with the pressure their own way, so let them.