So I've been liking this guy for quite some time now. But there is a problem, and I don't know what to do, He's one of those funny dangerous kinds and by that I mean that he is really funny, always smiling, always has me smiling and laughing, when he is hurt, there is something in me that tells me I'm hurt too. He is in a gang, but I want to help him, because I know in the end it will all be worth it, but most of my friends like him too, but I like him A LOT and this girl, she has like a super huge crush on him, he's like definitely top 10 in my school. Oh did I forget to mention he has a girlfriend, I honestly don't know what to do, should I tell him?

No, you should leave him alone. He has a girlfriend.

Why would you hurt another woman by making a move on "her man"?

He has a girlfriend, he is in a gang. You need to run like there is no tomorrow! Don't try to "fix" him. You can't. It's not your rite or responsibility to "fix" him.

Okay, so about the guy from the earlier question, he's changing, he's really trying to be good, and now he's going to school everyday. About his girlfriend, I'm not making a move, I'm just really confused, I want to help him be the better him, and I know I can, and I really do like him... LOTS... and I don't know what to do. I don't want to run away from my feelings, but I don't k now how to run towards them.

Please stay on one thread with follow-up thoughts and information. I have merged your threads.

Please stay on one thread with follow-up thoughts and information. I have merged your threads.

What?

what?
Do not start new threads on a topic that is still open on another thread that you started. You started a new thread. I combined the older one and the new one.

He is changing now and trying to be good. Are you influencing that or is his girlfriend helping him?

He is changing now and trying to be good. Are you influencing that or is his girlfriend helping him?

I'm helping him, telling him what's right and telling him to follow his heart, that he does't need to do anything he doesn't want to do, whenever he needs help, he comes to me, and I help him the most I can.

i'm helping him, telling him what's right and telling him to follow his heart, that he does't need to do anything he doesn't want to do, whenever he needs help, he comes to me, and i help him the most i can.
So you are not being fair to him and his girlfriend -- you are butting in and trying to steal him, right?

So you are not being fair to him and his girlfriend -- you are butting in and trying to steal him, right?.

NOOO! Far from it, I'm just helping him to do what's best for him, to be the better him! I wouldn't do that to a girl, because then karma would get me back in the same way, I just have LOTS of feelings for him.


So you are not being fair to him and his girlfriend -- you are butting in and trying to steal him, right?.

I'm not butting in at all, I'm just helping him.

i'm not butting in at all, i'm just helping him.
How are you helping him?

How are you helping him?

I tutor him, we play sports together so he won't be on the streets, I help him with his work, and other things like that

I tutor him, we play sports together so he won't be on the streets, i help him with his work, and other things like that
So you are slowly weaning him away from her.

What does she do for him to help him?

Do you know what I do when I meet someone I COULD really, really like - but he has a girlfriend or a wife? I walk away because that's what I would want another woman to do if she felt any type of physical/emotional attachment toward my husband/boyfriend.

I don't think you are being honest with yourself. He's a gang member and playing sports with you is somehow changing that lifestyle? I don't think so. Maybe you like bad boys. Maybe not.

I think you need to leave him alone.

So you are slowly weaning him away from her.

What does she do for him to help him?

She does nothing, she is the one that got him in the gang in the first place, sad, but true


Do you know what I do when I meet someone I COULD really, really like - but he has a girlfriend or a wife? I walk away because that's what i would want another woman to do if she felt any type of physical/emotional attachment toward my husband/boyfriend.

I don't think you are being honest with yourself. He's a gang member and playing sports with you is somehow changing that lifestyle? I don't think so. Maybe you like bad boys. Maybe not.

I think you need to leave him alone.

Ummm... it's a girl friend, and I know I wouldn't want anybody tot do that to me, that's why I haven't done it, I'm trying to see how it can work out as us being friends. And sports do help because it's less time on the streets with the gang and he's really good so he's focused on the sports.

ummm...it's a girl friend, and i know i wouldn't want anybody tot do that to me, that's why i haven't done it, i'm trying to see how it can work out as us being friends. and sports do help because it's less time on the streets with the gang and he's really good so he's focused on the sports.
But you are hoping he will fall in love with you.

But you are hoping he will fall in love with you.

Hoping, maybe... but I know that won't happen, I'm trying to just be friends, if it works.

And hope is the only thing that can stand tall sometimes, if you have nothing, at least you have hope that you will get something.

and hope is the only thing that can stand tall sometimes, if you have nothing, at least you have hope that you will get something.
Hope plus knocking yourself out to please him with food and gifts.

Hope plus knocking yourself out to please him with food and gifts.

Food? Gifts? Knocking myself down? NO. I just take it in my responsibility to help whoever I can help with whatever is in my power. I don't knock myself down to please anyone at all, except myself.

food? gifts? knocking myself down? NO. I just take it in my responsibility to help whoever i can help with whatever is in my power. I don't knock myself down to please anyone at all, except myself.
"Out," not "down" -- i.e. do your best to please them. So their smiles and thank yous mean nothing to you?

"Out," not "down" -- i.e., do your best to please them. So their smiles and thank yous mean nothing to you?

Of course it means something, but I stopped caring what people think OF me. I just can't explain it. If I sat there and worried about what people think of me, my mind would be very crowded. All I want is someone who treats me the way I'm suppose to be treated, and understands me.

Don't you think you are ruining yourself?

In the end he is pulling you into his bad world; stealing him from his girlfriend might give you a bad reputation, even if you are not planning to do this anything is possible. What would your friends think of you, if you end up making him fall in love with you? Don't say that you don't care about their opinions. To tell you the truth I value friendship more than a relationship.

Leaving him is your best choice, obviously you are being influenced by his bad behavior. For example, I don't think that you are the type of person who normally falls in this kind of problems but now look at where you are, maybe you can't see it with your own eyes but others can view this better than you. Notice, that all of the commenters discourage you from telling him how you feel; that was your question from the beginning and I believe you just got an answer for it.

Do you not understand the precarious position you are putting yourself in by messing with not only a gang member, but a gang members girlfriend? You are just waiting for a beatdown.

You use a lot of "pretty" words - words sound good. Actions speak volumes.

You use a lot of "pretty" words - words sound good. Actions speak volumes.

What do you mean "pretty words" and how do I use them?

Help!

Okay, so they told me there a huge posibility of me having severe bipolarism and having OCPD(OBSESSIVE CUMPULSIVE PERSONALITY DISORDER) and that I really need to take test plus a mental trauma but I don't know how to tell me mom, and I don't know how she will respond, I'm scared

They ( who are they?) and they should be calling your mom in for a talk and to arrange any medical testing.

Who told you this, and how did they decide on these two diagnoses?

what do you mean "pretty words" and how do i use them?

Help!

okay, so they told me there a huge posibility of me having severe bipolarism and having OCPD(OBSESSIVE CUMPULSIVE PERSONALITY DISORDER) and that i really need to take test plus a mental trauma but i don't know how to tell me mom, and i don't know how she will respond, i'm scared

You just simply DO IT.

Why... because maybe you get treatment before you do something dumb that can negatively affect your health... or your place among the living.

Gangs and their members have no respect for life or others. And you are putting yourself right in their crosshairs to be a future target for retribution.

How old do you guys think I am?. literally... guess.

Why should we be guessing your age? Its your story, you should be forth right with fact so you can get informed suggestions and to be honest you do no good to your credibility when your facts are not adding up.

No from the very first question, they're asking if girlfriend or wife

Forget the other places you are posting in and deal with the questions about you and your questions please.

Please focus - who told you this?: "okay, so they told me there a huge posibility of me having severe bipolarism and having OCPD(OBSESSIVE CUMPULSIVE PERSONALITY DISORDER) and that i really need to take test plus a mental trauma but i don't know how to tell me mom, and i don't know how she will respond, i'm scared"

Please focus - who told you this?: "okay, so they told me there a huge posibility of me having severe bipolarism and having OCPD(OBSESSIVE CUMPULSIVE PERSONALITY DISORDER) and that i really need to take test plus a mental trauma but i don't know how to tell me mom, and i don't know how she will respond, i'm scared"

School doctors and counslers... they said I have some of the major signs, but I don't know which signs they're talking about.

school doctors and counslers...they said i have some of the major signs, but i don't know which signs they're talking about.
So you were told this and then the matter dropped, or have you been asked to participate in counseling, or told to find a counselor on your own? These are not just conversation stoppers or cute terms you toss at people on a help site but really serious mental problems that require regular counseling and the faithful taking of medication.

WG just said it all - on a similar topic, how did paper get stuck in your ear? Is that part of your anxiety?

WG just said it all - on a similar topic, how did paper get stuck in your ear? Is that part of your anxiety?
She said she had gone to the doctor and got it fixed, but no mention of what it was/what the doctor found. Are we nosing about for conditions and diseases to have?

No, I am more concerned about the comment about her mother being a "true Mexican" (or words to that effect), OP being afraid/nervous about telling her mother about the paper and ear. Perhaps mother is refusing or not recognizing the need for medical services.

Is the paper in the ear a last ditch bid for her mother's attention or for medical attention?