View Full Version : Confused about a girl.
brad_8333
Mar 30, 2013, 09:18 PM
So lets be frank, I got dumped in January of 2013. I was dating a girl for about 3 months (I know not to long) and I was starting to feel like I could really love her. We spent a-lot of time together, I knew her family, she knew mine. So la de da new year rolls around, and I get dumped. Don't know where it came from, but it happened. I'm still not sure for the reason why, but I've learned to accept it.
Now lets fast forward this to now March/April. We have prom in a few weeks, I've set myself up with one of my best friends, I'm also going to be spending a-lot of time with another girl that I've been talking to for a while. But no matter what I do, I continue to think about my ex. I have gotten to the point where I understand that its over, and that I'll probably never be with her again, yet part of me still looks at her, and thinks "dam, I really screwed up a chance to be happy there."
I think another thing that is really messing with me is the fact that I see her, looking at me sometimes. I.E. was at tennis practice, had my shirt off, and I see her on the track watching me. Is this just reminiscence on her part or is there something there? If you guys/girls have ever had something like this happen before, I could really use some help.
Homegirl 50
Mar 31, 2013, 07:31 AM
She dumped you, the fact that she may look at you occasionally means nothing. It takes time but you will get over her. Continue to get out and have fun.
talaniman
Mar 31, 2013, 07:38 AM
You both will see each other out and about and reminisce about the time you shared. That's pretty normal, as we all do that. Its no big deal if you don't make it one.
brad_8333
Mar 31, 2013, 10:29 AM
Thanks, I hope that I can, its just sometimes I wish that we could live in two separate worlds where I never see, hear, or think about her.
AnswerMan5000
Apr 8, 2013, 09:08 AM
Have you ever thought of just asking her?
Would that help to close the book on this for you?
To me it seems you have a nagging question at the back of your mind why it happened. Knowing the answer to that question might just help you to "get on with things" as the others are saying.
brad_8333
Apr 8, 2013, 04:32 PM
Hmm good point AnswerMan5000, however, maybe I left out a piece of back story that I didn't find relevant at the time. After I got dumped, I waited the standard month, backed off, let her think about things. After a month and a few days had passed, I brought flowers to her house and asked to make a second shot at things. She gave me a few reasons she couldn't, mainly citing that she was leaving for college in a few months. (I'm a junior, she is a senior.) But then she went on to counter the college things because she knows where she is going, and we could easily maintain a 45 minutes away relationship.
Point number two for me is just personal, I have a huge lump in my throat. I see her and just try to ignore her, its hard when you share classes too. Also, maybe this is just stupid, but I've made my move. I think that I would like to leave this game unfinished, or have her make a move before I play any cards. Or at the very least a very obvious point of interest coming from her before I make a move on her.
So yeah... I've tried to get past her, but so far I'm stuck in this eternal "what if" stage. Any advice with the info?
Homegirl 50
Apr 8, 2013, 04:46 PM
If she has nit given you any signs, and it does not seem as if she has, you need to move on. Otherwise you will continue to be stuck.
brad_8333
Apr 8, 2013, 05:46 PM
Homegirl 50 yeah I've been trying too. Doing everything I can to forget... It's just messed up when you have a dream about her.
Also, I wish that you could help me interpret these "signs" or these "just not signs" thanks though. I'm trying to move on.
Homegirl 50
Apr 8, 2013, 10:42 PM
There are no signs. It's you looking for something that's not there. Wishful thinking. You dream about her because you miss her. It's normal. Stay busy doing things. Have fun. It will get better.
talaniman
Apr 9, 2013, 05:42 AM
Stop looking for hidden meanings behind everything, and go with positive action in your daily life, based on facts and not just feelings..
Oliver2011
Apr 9, 2013, 06:24 AM
Semi-harsh warning...
"Any advice with the info?" YES - Stop being so clinging and dependent on others for your emotional happiness. You are heading down a bad path if you get so hooked on someone after just three months. Get to know the person WHILE continuing to see your friends and do the things that are fun that you like to do. One of the worst things you can do in a relationship is spend all your time with that one person. A relationship doesn't remain fresh that way. You need to know that you control your happiness, not anyone else and don't let anyone else control your emotional well being.
You didn't screw up a chance to be happy. You screwed up a chance to date this girl and life goes on. Continue to make plans with people and have fun. That will continue your life forward.
From one very good tennis player to another, you will survive this. We have all been through breakups before and we have all done just fine. Learn from your mistakes on this one so that your mistakes don't repeat themselves.
MCsteve
Apr 14, 2013, 06:25 AM
If you still have feelings for her then talk to her again. I was dumped too before. And later my ex told me that she only dumped me because she was expecting a "sweet comeback".
Too bad for her I already moved on.