How do you deal with a stalker?

What If I told you that I am being stalked by four people? Would you believe me? Well, sadly I am, it is a very complicated situation. I am not scared, but I can't help losing my focus in school. I always keep a sharp eye on where I go, what I do, and when I do it. It is pretty much exhausting, because I am in a constant watch out, even when I am with my friends. I have not told anyone, and I am not about to do it. Since it is not violent right now, I am not going to report it, but the problem is that it takes a lot of my strength to keep an open eye wherever I go so I would dodge them, and stay out of their way, but I have one stalker who sits in front of me and keeps turning and starring. And another one who sits by me, in a different class, which bugs me since whenever he talks he always interferes to me. The third stalker I only see in the hallways, and the last one sits by me in another class, this forth stalker is intimate with someone, and I don't understand why he keeps an eye on me. And don't even ask why.

I know these are not much details, but I am asking for any kind of help or advice.

Without too much detail. It honestly sounds like you're being paranoid.

If you really believe you're being stalked. Tell someone.

I agree with Odinn, sounds like you are being paranoid. How, exactly are these people actually stalking you?

You people don't even know me, first of all. I am a very healthy person I have you both know, my weight and height are healthy for my age, and I am an honor student in my school, I have many good friends but also like many other people I have problems and am fulled with flaws, so don't judge me, and treat me like an idiot!!

I am also a hardworking person, Who is very self-conscious, and considerate. I wonder how would you like it both if you were called crazies?

You people don't even know me, first of all. I am a very healthy person I have you both know, my weight and height are healthy for my age, and I am an honor student in my school, I have many good friends but also like many other people I have problems and am fulled with flaws, so don't judge me, and treat me like an idiot!!!!

I am also a hardworking person, Who is very self-conscious, and considerate. I wonder how would you like it both if you were called crazies?

Whew... you mad bro?

Who judged you? Who called you crazy? Who treated you like an idiot?

As far as us not knowing you... well, you came here and posted that little paragraph of yours with no real detail so what did we have to go by? That paragraph is all we had to use to come up with some kind of answer. Being called paranoid is not the same as being called crazy.

Now... having said that... the reaction that we got, that outburst of yours, for our simple and to the point answers leads me to believe that you may have issues... issues that make me believe perhaps you are paranoid and not being stalked. I mean really, you flip out over these answers where nobody judged you but you go on to tell us about your health and weight like that makes a difference in the answer. You somehow read into our responses that we were judging you and calling you crazy when that is not the case. I think you are doing the same thing with these people who are "stalking" you... seeing things and reading into things that are not really there. Maybe you should talk to a guidance counselor.

You people don't even know me, first of all. I am a very healthy person I have you both know, my weight and height are healthy for my age, and I am an honor student in my school, I have many good friends but also like many other people I have problems and am fulled with flaws, so don't judge me, and treat me like an idiot!!!!

I am also a hardworking person, Who is very self-conscious, and considerate. I wonder how would you like it both if you were called crazies?

Isn't the reason you haven't told any of your friends or family about this because they might call you 'crazy'? So why get defensive here? No one is judging you or treating you like you are an 'idiot'? We are attempting to understand what the issues are with what sounds like normal school situations.

However, if you act defensive, attack those who are attempting to help, or in general act like a child, expect people to question the veracity of your statements.

Being paranoid doesn't mean you are 'crazy'. What it does mean is that you may be allowing your self-consciousness to cause you to let your imagination run wild. You may be seeing 'stalkers' where there are people just going about their normal day.

Think about this: How is someone a stalker if they have the same class(es) you do or walking the same halls you do to get to their classes or lockers or to meet up with someone else?

If you truly think you are being 'stalked' then you need to talk to an authority figure (teacher, counselor, parent, etc. ) Many times when 'stalking' occurs, the victim waits until the situation becomes dangerous.

You either believe you are being 'stalked' and take action or you accept you may be mistaking innocent behavior for something worse.

Wow!!

No, we don't know you. Don't know if I want to know you. However, from your original post it seems like you are being paranoid because you say nothing about stalking. People look at you, that's pretty normal.


one stalker who sits in front of me and keeps turning and starring How does that make them a stalker? They aren't following you home, beating on your door, or calling you non-stop.


And another one who sits by me, in a different class, which bugs me since whenever he talks he always infers to me That's not stalking.


The third stalker I only see in the hallways That's not stalking either.

I'll give you an idea of a stalker. My daughter had one. He sat outside of our house in his truck all hours of the day and night. He was at our front door before she went to school at 6 in the morning. He called her over 200 times in one day and sent her over 675 texts in 4 hours. THAT is a stalker.

I think I gave you the wrong impression, by not providing any specific details. I only reacted that way because... well I don't know how to explain this, I am never good at giving good explanations, I just can't put my thoughts into words. But please don't think of me as paranoid. You might think that I am weird, but the truth is that I ALWAYS have hesitation moments because I am shy, and again don't put words into this thought. I just dislike it when everyone turns up against me.

You people don't even know me, first of all. I am a very healthy person I have you both know, my weight and height are healthy for my age, and I am an honor student in my school, I have many good friends but also like many other people I have problems and am fulled with flaws, so don't judge me, and treat me like an idiot!!!!

I am also a hardworking person, Who is very self-conscious, and considerate. I wonder how would you like it both if you were called crazies?

I didn't see anyone calling you crazy, but I will say from my point of view sounds like you are missing a few marbles.

So, tell me how we can adequately answer your question if you won't provide the pertinent information?

Well, stalking is an non bailable offence I guess, if that troubles you lot, just go to the authorities. But you can always talk to the guys in you classroom and clear the matter face to face. Good luck.

"well, stalking is an non bailable offence I guess, if that troubles you lot, just go to the authorities. but you can always talk to the guys in you classroom and clear the matter face to face. good luck."

What? What does a "non-bailable offense" have to do with this and are you suggesting that this person address the stalkers?

And to the OP - looking at you across a classroom and stalking you are two different things.

Where are the school authorities in this?

So, tell me how we can adequately answer your question if you won't provide the pertinent information?


Sorry it took so long. Anyway, let me explain what kind of staking is in my case. Ok, let me tell you about one of them, who watches me and knows when I get out my classes and get in, so he always waits by a corner in the hallways to see me get in and out of the class, this is been the case for months now, actually since the beginning of this school year. This is not so extreme that I am being followed home or anything, but it’s creepy. For example, once I was coming out of the bus and he was standing right in front of the door, so as you would come out of the bus you would be facing him. I just want to know how would you deal with this? Because I really don't know what to do.

I'd either ask him if he wants something/anything OR I'd bring it to the teacher's attention so he/she can see the person lurking outside the door. Let him/her ask the person why you're being watched - if it's you he's watching.

Just ask thus guy, what is your problem. If you are going to get rid of this situation, you will have to do it head on, no matter what the reason.

Have I missed something, are you male or female because that really changes the advice drastically?

This a form of bullying plain and simple, and no matter what your gender is, you will have to bring a third party into play here, mainly the police or your principal.

That's what I'm telling, talk face to face, what's the problem?

Apparently the problem is that she doesn't want to face this guy out of fear or something else. That has become increasingly apparent.

How old are you and what grade are you in?

What is it in your behavior that makes these people "stalk" you? Sometimes we need to look at our own actions to find out why people are behaving the way they do to us. I don't believe you are being stalked by 4 people. I believe you believe it and you probably enjoy the attention.

I think you have latched onto an idea and gotten overly concerned with it. I see no evidence whatsoever of any stalking going on, and epecially by 4 people focusing on you, who are unrelated strangers,or classsmates. I mean 4 stalkers? That's highly unusual, and maybe there is something you need todo for yourself to be clear of thought to see facts and not this speculation.

See you family doctor to make sure its NOT you, before you keep spending all this time and energy dodging them.

Such action has nothing to do with being crazy, just routine to make sure you have no hormone changes due to stress over school or family, or other changes that us humans go through as we grow.

I am a boy, a sophomore in high school. Why does it matter? And no I am not doing this for attention, I just thought I could get some options about what to do by coming here. And I only asked, what would any of you do in such a situation?
Any answer can be helpful.
Thanks in advance.

You asked what we'd do if we're being stalked. The thing is, what you described isn't stalking.

I've been stalked. One of my exes stalked me for many months. He would sit outside my house all night in his car, follow me to work, send me inappropriate gifts, call all hours of the day and night. I ended up calling the cops, but I had to do it a few times before they took it seriously. What finally sealed the deal is the night he came over while my parents were out of town, and beat me up.

That's stalking.

What you're describing is behavior that makes you uncomfortable. It's not stalking. So, what would I do in your situation? I'd tell a teacher, I'd talk to the school principal and counselor, and if they don't think there's an issue but you do, I'd talk to mom and dad and see if they can step in. But really, from what you've written, the people that are doing this, their biggest offense is looking at you, or being in the same hallway or on the same bus as you. How do you expect anyone to put a stop to that? They do have the right to take the bus, or walk in the same hallway as you, and sometimes eyes meet and it can't be helped.

I really think you're overreacting to all of this, based on what you've told us. So unless there's more to the story, I think you're the one that has to change your behavior and attitude, not them.

If you are a guy in high school, what you are describing is immature behavior from others. How old are these other people, are they in high school as well?

It is possible that you are paranoid. I agree with many on here. What you have described is not stalking. Maybe they want to be friends with you and you aren't allowing it due to your behaviors. Again, what is it about you that makes people behave this way.

Additionally, people are allowed to behave however they want to behave as long as it does not infringe on your rights. There is nothing you can do about it. So live and let live and stop being so sensitive.

What I would do is stop spending so much time and energy being afraid and suspicious and avoiding of people I don't know, to spend more time enjoying my friends and working through my own shyness.

Its one thing to think people are out to get you and its quite another to actually act on those fears. That's what you are doing, acting on your own fear and that's NOT a healthy thing at all. You have never bothered to find out if indeed they are the threat you think they are. You have assumed they are and made them a bigger threat.

At some point you must face the fear to get the facts or keep wearing yourself out being afraid. Ask your friends if they know of them without making drama for yourself. Especially if a few are in your class with you.

Then if and when you find your fear is not real, then its you that has to work on YOU. I think the easiest way to know a person is to see who their friends are and the activities they engage in and the way they interact with others. If you never see them acting threatening at all, then entertain the fact that its YOUR fear building drama in YOUR own mind.

Be willing to make some changes in your thinking if you indeed prove to yourself you are wrong.

Since you are boy, it's even easier, as I said talk face to face. Face you fear. Someone called you she, assuming you are a girl but its common in high school, guys also have similar issues.

Stalking or feeling that you are being stalked is most definitely not common in high school.

What Country are you in where this is common behavior?

One of OP's initial responses to being "called crazy" makes me believe he/she is extremely sensitive and very possibly paranoid.