I am going to my best friends wedding in Aruba. Expensive place and all inclusive. I am bringing my 2 boys so chose to stay at a less expensive place. I was told that I have to pay a fee per person to attend the hotel for the day of the wedding. There is no private reception so essentially I am paying for mine and my 2 children's plates at this wedding. Paying $2000.00 for 4 days away for me and my 2 sons is not in my financial budget but saying no is not in my friend budget. Do I still give a gift?

I hope destination weddings go out of fashion soon.

Is there something you can give from your heart and your years as friends -- a special photo album of pictures and stories you round up from mutual friends?

I personally believe your presence at her expensive wedding is your gift to her.

I really don't think she should expect a gift. As a friend she should be aware of your financial restraints, and that you have children, and attending this wedding will cost you a bundle.

I would give her a card, and in that card I'd write "my gift to you, is me", or make it funny "I was going to buy you a gift, but you decided to get married in no mans land, so you'll have to settle for this card".

Have fun while you're there.

That is a huge amount of money. I don't think your friend would expect you to give a gift but then I am of the opinion that no couple who wants a destination should be greedy enough to expect gifts.