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View Full Version : If I'm 15 years old and my parents have joint custody can I choose where I want to live?


Lonely1297
Feb 25, 2013, 11:39 AM
Hello , I'm a 15 year old girl who has been through a lot of trobles . I've been beaten and raped my whole life . But the past 9 years I've lived with my father & my step mother always hits me and calls me stupid . I've tried to kill myself due to my situtation at home , my dad has threw his cell phone at me and told me to call my mother because he can't handle me anymore! All I do while at home is cry and sleep . I hate myself due to the problems the last time my step mother hit me it was across the face and she busted my lip open my coucler at school and I called CPS (child protective services) my councler seen phyiscal marks from my step mother . But also my father and mother have joint custody and my father has soul custody but he will not let me see my mother ? Can I have my mother pick me up from school and take me to her house until the court date , if I feel at danger or feel it's a better choice for me ?

...Merged Threads...

ScottGem
Feb 25, 2013, 11:42 AM
What happened with CPS? If you are being abused they should remove you from your father's home. For your mother to get custody, she needs to file for a modification of the custody order in court.

The fastest way to get out is to have CPS remove you and place you with your mother.

JudyKayTee
Feb 25, 2013, 11:56 AM
Scott beat me to it - you're raped and beaten and CPS left you in the same household pending some type of hearing?

Where is this?

Your mother can file for an emergency hearing today.

jcan12
Feb 25, 2013, 11:59 AM
If u have a cell phone CALL 911 and leave the phone in your pocket around them so 911 can hear what there doing to you or just call and tell them

Lonely1297
Feb 25, 2013, 12:08 PM
She is making a motion for court but I don't want to go home I'm to my breaking point I can't be at my fathers and my step mother got in my face and said she will take my brother and sister and move away . My mother said she would come pick me up but I'm scarred my dad will say I'm a run away? Can I go stay with my mom with out being accused of being a run away. Besides that my sister and brother have been hit before , my step mom and her daughter bridget have gotten in a phyiscal fist fight , and made each other bleed and when cps came my step mom threnthed me so I wouldn't say anything.. and she told them I lie this is the 2nd time they've been called in 1 year?

jcan12
Feb 25, 2013, 12:13 PM
Yes you can. Take your brother and sister and go home to your moms house with out being called a run away

jcan12
Feb 25, 2013, 12:14 PM
But as soon as you get to your. Moms I need to call the cops so they can help you by taking your step mom and dad away

Lonely1297
Feb 25, 2013, 12:27 PM
My brother and sister are half there my stepmoms kids. But I can leavve if I want too and if I feel threatened

JudyKayTee
Feb 25, 2013, 12:28 PM
Jcan12 - this is a legal board. You are NOT giving reliable, informed legal advice. Where are you getting your information? The abuse has (apparently) been reported to the Police.

It is very difficult to take you seriously when you're using chatspeak ("u," for example) on an adult board.

JudyKayTee
Feb 25, 2013, 12:32 PM
Your mother is making a Motion or did make a Motion? Your mother also needs to include your brother and sister in that Motion for emergency relief/custody. If your stepmother “moves away” she can’t do it overnight, she can’t disappear, if your Mother prevails (wins) your brother and sister will be brought back - things don’t work the way your stepmother appears to think they do.

If the Police/CPS have investigated and have left you in your father’s/stepmother’s home unless there is new abuse and you can prove it, yes, you could be picked up as a runaway.

Is the CPS hearing pending OR has it been held? Why were you left in an abusive home? Have you had other legal/family problems?

I don’t understand why your stepmother/father WANT you at their residence if they rape and abuse you. I would think they would be delighted that you want to leave - but you never know what other people are thinking.

How did your father get sole custody of you in the very beginning?

ScottGem
Feb 25, 2013, 12:44 PM
The problem I have here is if the abuse is as bad as you say, then why has CPS not removed you from the home. You say the school councilor has noticed the physical abuse and yet you are still left in that home? It doesn't make sense. But if you want out again, you have to go to the police or CPS to get you removed.

JudyKayTee
Feb 25, 2013, 12:47 PM
I note OP does not want to answer any specific questions and, instead, chose to sign off.

jcan12
Feb 25, 2013, 01:23 PM
Jcan12 - this is a legal board. You are NOT giving reliable, informed legal advice. Where are you getting your information? The abuse has (apparently) been reported to the Police.

It is very difficult to take you seriously when you're using chatspeak ("u," for example) on an adult board.

Look I know the law OK and I am just saying the court knows not the cops if the cops was made aware of it it would have been taken care of if they where OK I'm also give in my views as someone who went through this

JudyKayTee
Feb 25, 2013, 01:31 PM
I don't know your State or your location. No one here knows WHY the abusive father has full custody of three children. Until we know that as well as whether a Motion has been made and whether CPS has schedule or held a hearing, there are too many questions that have gone unanswered.

But I am telling you as someone in NYS who went to law school that this child cannot simply run to his mother's when she does not have custody, when CPS did not cause the child to be taken from the abusive home, when the father continues to have custody, and not be charged as a runaway if someone chooses to involve CPS and/or the Police.

Your statement that this child should run to the mother's house and then call the "Cops" and the father and stepmother will be "taken away" is simply incorrect and ludicrous.

ScottGem
Feb 25, 2013, 02:24 PM
Look I know the law ok and I am just saying the court knows not the cops if the cops was made aware of it it would have been taken care of if they where ok I'm also give in my views as someone who went through this

Apparently you don't know the law. Cops don't take usually take care of such things. If there is child abuse the cops will refer the case to the local Family Services agency. Cops will act only if called to an ongoing situation. If the OP calls the police after running away to mom they will do nothing. They might even return her to the father, since the father has legal custody.

We take pride in the accuracy of the advice given here and your advice is not legally correct.

jcan12
Feb 25, 2013, 09:59 PM
Apparently you don't know the law. Cops don't take usually take care of such things. If there is child abuse the cops will refer the case to the local Family Services agency. Cops will act only if called to an ongoing situation. If the OP calls the police after running away to mom they will do nothing. They might even return her to the father, since the father has legal custody.

We take pride in the accuracy of the advice given here and your advice is not legally correct. the way I say it is the way the cops work in my town

ScottGem
Feb 26, 2013, 04:08 AM
the way I say it is the way the cops work in my town

That may be, especially if you live in a small town. But you make a big mistake when you think your one experience has general applicability. You should not give broad advice based on one localized experience. What you described is not the norm and I suspect its not exactly as you portray it either.

The facts in this case is that abuse was apparently reported to CPS and child was not removed from the home. This seems to indicate that the problem is not as bad as the OP portrays. We have asked the OP several pertinent questions and without those answers its hard to give further advice.

Lonely1297
Feb 26, 2013, 11:33 AM
I am verbally abused by my father, and physically abused by my step mom. I am 15 almost 16 in April , old enough to know what I want to do, and where I'm happy, but my dad has joint custody... and If ran away, and went to my moms. Could the police arrest me or her, or force me to go back to my dads? Please reply and fill me in, thanks(:
I live there because my step mother lies and gets more money from the state if I'm there ? So she keeps me there too get more money .

Lonely1297
Feb 26, 2013, 11:33 AM
Also my dad has soul custody though .

Lonely1297
Feb 26, 2013, 11:36 AM
I am verbally abused by my father, and physically abused by my step mom. I am 15 almost 16 in April , old enough to know what I want to do, and where I'm happy, but my dad has joint custody.. and I went to my moms. Could the police arrest me or her, or force me to go back to my dads? Please reply and fill me in, thanks(:
I live there at my father home because my step mother lies and gets more money from the state if I'm there ? So she keeps me there too get more money . I want to live with my mother is it possiable I can go to her without my father knowing and saying I'm a run away ?

...Merged threads...

Cat1864
Feb 26, 2013, 11:49 AM
i am verbally abused by my father, and physically abused by my step mom. i am 15 almost 16 in april , old enough to know what i want to do, and where im happy, but my dad has joint custody......, and i went to my moms. could the police arrest me or her, or force me to go back to my dads? please reply and fill me in, thanks(:
i live there at my father home because my step mother lies and gets more money from the state if im there ? so she keeps me there too get more money . i want to live with my mother is it possiable i can go to her without my father knowing and saying im a run away ?

...Merged threads...


also my dad has soul custody though .

Lonely, does your father have sole custody or joint custody?

Lonely1297
Feb 26, 2013, 11:59 AM
They have joint but he has phyiscal custody

JudyKayTee
Feb 26, 2013, 01:24 PM
Instead of opening a new thread could you PLEASE answer my questions about motions and CPS hearings -

We are walking in circles here and you aren't answering and providing necessary info.

ScottGem
Feb 26, 2013, 02:29 PM
Lonely, I understand you may have had some problems finding this thread. But please don't start a new thread for follow-up. We've merged your threads so all follow-up should be added as replies to this thread.

In your original post you spoke of being raped and of CPS being called in and talking to your school counselor. What were the results of that. We need to understand that if we are to help.

But the bottom line here is you can't just leave your father because he has physical custody. Your mom has to petition the court to change custody. However, if you are being abused then CPS can step in and remove you until a court can rule.