I am currently trying to locate my husband of 23 years. His name is Alan P Nettles of San Ramon Ca. I last was with Alan on Dec 31st 2012 in Dublin Ca. He was supposed to be in Norcross Ga. But I am unsure of his whereabouts. I need help in locating him. Thank-you

Is he 44 years old, related to Laureen and/or Lori?

You could not have seen him December 31, 2013 - it's February 2013 now.

He has an "active" address and telephone number. Are you his current wife - or his ex-wife?

Is he 44 years old, related to Laureen and/or Lori?

You could not have seen him December 31, 2013 - it's February 2013 now.

He has an "active" address and telephone number. Are you his current wife - or his ex-wife?

I am his current wife and my name is Laureen . He is 44 yrs and I believe the last day I saw him was the 29th of Dec. Id have to look at my records

This is all too mysterious without a lot more detail about how you lost him and what you have done (or not) to find him since New Years.

Is this a missing persons matter - before I spend any more time on this.

This is all too mysterious without a lot more detail about how you lost him and what you have done (or not) to find him since New Years.

Well as a couple we have been throu a lot the 7years of our 23 year relationship. 7 years ago we had a son who passed at the age of 21 then a series of other unpleasant events such as the death of my father, our home burnt down, my other son had some problems and it has made a rough go of it. I was under some stress at the time of his disappearance. After a accident of an rv we purchased, we were staying at a local hotel close to where he was waiting for work as a electrician. My son who I had not seen in 1 yr. came to stay with us over the holidays, with his pregnant girlfriend. I believe the stress was too much, which I have taken great strides to repair. I have been picking up the pieces of my life. I was left with all the responsibility of two dogs two cats, the bills, and the not knowing where he was. I found out when I finally called my mom on New Years Eve that he called her and told her that he went home to his mother in Norcross Ga I am unsure as what to do next. I am unsure of how to react. We were having "issues" and Iam willing to work on this. I love this man very much. This is the only thing I have really done to try to locate his whereabouts. I have given him space. I have spoken with him off and on throu text and a couple of phione calls but I don't dare call his moms home. I am trying to adjust. I have found a place to live. I saved the bank acct. I saved the storage. I have no real source of support at this time. However I did find a part time work right before he left. I am alone.I am just trying to find out what I should do for myself and make a better decision by knowing the truth. There is no one I have found to talk to about this either personally or professionally. I have no way of doing this by myself yet. I have been doing all that I can everyday to better my situation and survive "the worst" or be a better mate for "the best case" in which he returns to his marriage. Thank you for any help. I have been reaching out for help with grief so I can hope for the best. Laureen Nettles

I am his current wife and my name is Laureen . He is 44 yrs and I believe the last day I saw him was the 29th of Dec. Id have to look at my records

I am not aware of an ex-wife. Our marriage is his first and still current.

Is this a missing persons matter - before I spend any more time on this.

No, he apparently just walked away to who knows where. I don't have the guts to call his moms home. I don't want to bother him if he is there. He may just need space to collect himself which I can understand. I am trying to help myself first but in order to make a better decision for my well being I have no where else to turn so I thought I would ask . By the way he has not been to see his mom in years. He only recently visited with his father for one day after having kidney stones, otherwise visits to and from his family have been a hand full of times over 23 years of marriage

I can only find him if there is a recent public record - change in driver's license, utility bill, rental bill, something. Otherwise I go back to what is apparently your address.

I don't understand - if he's at his Mom's house why don't you just call him and talk to him, particularly after a long marriage - ?

What is he doing to support you?

Yes, call his mother. You have a right to call your husband, and it's not invading his space, especially after 7 weeks.

Judy, Joy, she said she doesn't have the guts to call his moms house. She didn't say she knew for sure that he was there. In fact, the rest of her post pretty much implies that him being at his moms, isn't likely.

But, in order to find him via the internet, which is the only tool at our disposal for free (this is a free site) would be very hard. If he's staying at a friends, doesn't have bills coming in his name, a phone under his name, or anything of that nature, finding him won't be easy.

Have you considered hiring a private investigator?

I can only find him if there is a recent public record - change in driver's license, utility bill, rental bill, something. Otherwise I go back to what is apparently your address.

I don't understand - if he's at his Mom's house why don't you just call him and talk to him, particularly after a long marriage - ?

What is he doing to support you?
Alan is not doing anything to support me or the pets ,also our bills since I received one payment of 500 for 1/3 of our monthly "rent" at the hotel. I do not even know his moms number. He may have a change in address from Dublin,Ca which after staying there from Aug 24th to Jan 22nd Then, supposedly, his father(Patrick Nettles) purchased a plane ticket for him to Altanta where his mother resides at Norcross Ga. On Amhurst Dr. I am grateful for the time he gave to me over twenty-three years.If I have made mistakes I am willing to look into change of behavior. This marriage means a lot to me. I am not fully aware of all his reasons whether valid or invalid. I am willing to listen to his reasons and not invallidate them I was trying to give him space He had his (dad) Patrick Henly Nettles send my parents 500 for 1/3 of our rent for feb that's it . He took our only cell phone and I do not even have the ability to drive right now. I am really saddened by his choice to leave me without telling me or kissing me goodbye . I am caught in heartbreak of course which has made it difficult to try to get a grip on what has happened. I will try my best to be fair and honest. I want him to be happy. I wish he would come home . I am more than willing to listen and want happiness with him. I do not want to chase him down. I asked him recently if he was still in Ga with his mom, Cathy Crawford. He DID say yes, he was, and I want more than anything to believe (with relief of course that he is with his mom) as recently she lost her husband ben and I thought he should go see her and have a long overdue visit.

Judy, Joy, she said she doesn't have the guts to call his moms house. She didn't say she knew for sure that he was there. In fact, the rest of her post pretty much implies that him being at his moms, isn't likely.

But, in order to find him via the internet, which is the only tool at our disposal for free (this is a free site) would be very hard. If he's staying at a friends, doesn't have bills coming in his name, a phone under his name, or anything of that nature, finding him won't be easy.

Have you considered hiring a private investigator?

Yes and he does have a metro phone in his name I think

I asked him recently if he was still in Ga with his mom, Cathy Crawford. He DID say yes, he was, and I want more than anything to believe (with relief of course that he is with his mom) as recently she lost her husband ben and I thought he should go see her and have a long overdue visit.

Okay, I was wrong. You do know that he's at his moms.

So, you asked:


Help me find my husband Alan P Nettles. I saw him last Dec 31st in Dublin Ca.

And you answered:


I asked him recently if he was still in Ga with his mom, Cathy Crawford. He DID say yes, he was,


Is there a different reason for this thread? A question you actually wanted answered that you don't already have the answer to? Because I'm a bit confused right now. Why did you ask where he is if you already know?

yes and he does have a metro phone in his name i think

Can anyone in recommend a P. I. In case... what should I do? Anyone? What should I do for myself ? Is there any hope of my husband coming home? Where can I get grief help ? I have no cash for an attorney. I am not aware of our finances at all. I am struggling with how to deal with this. I sold all my property and cars to support us over the last 5 years.

Please do not post complete physical addresses. This is an international site and it could open a completely different can of worms.

Okay, I was wrong. You do know that he's at his moms.

So, you asked:



And you answered:



Is there a different reason for this thread? A question you actually wanted answered that you don't already have the answer to? Because I'm a bit confused right now. Why did you ask where he is if you already know?

I am only going on what I was told thank you for your help I guess I was just looking for conformation on this . Try to understand

Please do not post complete physical addresses. This is an international site and it could open a completely different can of worms.

OK sorry.. can I unask my question ?

I have removed the identifying information.

I have removed the identifying information.

I cannot Thank-You enough . I did not mean any harm to anyone.

There would be no harm to anyone but you and possibly your mother-in-law.

Just take this as a lesson learned. The internet can be a very dangerous place.

There would be no harm to anyone but you and possibly your mother-in-law.

Just take this as a lesson learned. The internet can be a very dangerous place.

OK

I consider it my job to give you the guts to call his mother. Can you say what you are afraid of?

Again, I did the research, I believe I found him - and the "story" isn't what was posted in the original question.

Sigh.

Look in the telephone book for a PI. No one is going to work for free, so be prepared.

Again, I did the research, I believe I found him - and the "story" isn't what was posted in the original question.

Sigh.

Look in the telephone book for a PI. No one is going to work for free, so be prepared. Ok I guess I will consider that option. Is it bad news for me? That is what happened as far as I was aware. I am unsure of what this meant

I consider it my job to give you the guts to call his mother. Can you say what you are afraid of?

Being pushy. I didn't want to lose trust. I was just asking. I am afraid of judgement.

I was looking for assurance. I have been trying so hard to fix all the "cracks" in my life. I have a lions share of work to save our things and find a place to live. Thanking my parents for all their tireless work to help me out Thanking his parents for all their support. And lastly thanking him for many years of happiness. I sure hope we work it out Thank you all for help.

Ok i guess i will consider that option. Is it bad news for me?. That is what happened as far as i was aware. I am unsure of what this meant

Do you know if he is in Calif. If not which state, that's all I want to know for now.

Is my husband in California? If not which state? That's all I want to know right now.

You aren't understanding what I wrote - unless and until your husband uses another address as his address (his mother's address, somewhere else) the address he used up until then (which presumably is your joint address) is the only address a search will find. For example, if I leave home tomorrow and never change my driver's license, rent an apartment, get utilities in my name, my address will search as where I am now because there are no other records to search.

Do you know what I mean?

I can only search out reported addresses - and if he isn't using his mother's address (or any other address) yours will show. If he does use a new address it will take a little time for it to "hit."

I still don't understand why you can't just call him. I doubt his mother thinks he's there on vacation!

Oops! You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to JudyKayTee again.


I still don't understand why you can't just call him. I doubt his mother thinks he's there on vacation!

My thoughts exactly.

I'm a bit ticked about this. The OP originally came here acting like she had no clue where he could be, had no idea where he is. But she's admitted that she believes that he's at his mother's house, that the last time she talked to him (which wasn't long ago) that's where he was. So why are we being asked to find him? She knows where he is.

To the OP (original poster) this is something you have to figure out. We can't help you. Either you want to contact him, or you don't. If you do, you have the number, you know where he is, so contact him. Your choice, but you're the one that has to make it, not us.

Good luck

Not to mention that she wasted Judy's time by her trying to find him for the OP... only to find out that she pretty much knows where he is anyway.

Just make the call. Get it over with.

Thanks, guys - you make it worth it.