My boyfriend is mad at me for sending a Facebook message to my ex boyfriend and now he thinks I've cheated on him and that I'm cheating on him and I haven't cheated or anything. He will respond to me sometimes but not all the time and he does not call me or text me first. I am very sad because we have a child together and we were supposed to be getting married. What do I do to get him to speak to me and to come home since he is at his Moms house right now?

How old is he? And you?

I'm 27 and he is 22 I know the age is a lot but I've been with him for almost three years and its sad to say that he won't speak to me I know when he gets mad to let him cool down but this time I'm feeling like I've lost him :-(

Why did you contact your ex, and how did your boyfriend find out?

Facebook he messaged me and then I responded about the super bowl game and I said hey your team is winning boo and he looked at my phone while I was taking a shower and he seen it and got mad at me but I never cheated on him or anything and he keep saying I ed up smh I'm so hurt and upset but I act like I don't care

How long should I wait until I contact my boyfriend?

Why is he looking at your phone? Do you check up on him?

I don't check up on him but I can tell he is insecure and he has been hurt in the past

Allowing him to check your phone makes him more secure and trusting?

(P.S. Do not EVER give out your phone and any passwords for anyone to check.)

No it just makes things worse I guess

There is absolutely no reason in the world why your communication with your ex was wrong. Your boyfriend had no reason to be worried. If he is this worried about something so innocent, you will have a long and miserable future with him every time you even look at another guy.

Take a breath and some time off. Don't contact him. Let him get over this and come to you. If he talks to you again, do not apologize, but strongly suggest couples counseling. You two need to get some things ironed out before marriage.

How long should I wait until I contact my boyfriend?
We'll need more details here... why is he upset? How long has it been since you've spoken?

>threads merged<

You don't contact him. Wait for him to contact you. The ball is in his court.

We'll need more details here...why is he upset? How long has it been since you've spoken?

>threads merged<

It's only been one day but he communicates with me well and its bothering me that he is not calling me. I know he can stretch it out for a week or two and I texted him and told him I as going to call him on Friday when he is not mad at me anymore and when he can speak to me in a non angry tone. He just texted me and said that he is calm. So I texted back and told him when ever he wants to talk to call me and that I will talk to him later and I said fiance' at the end. No response yet

Your boyfriend lives with his Mom? And you have a child by him. I am sorry to hear about this. I don't understand why you communicated with your ex.
Please try talking with him again. Any relationship must have honesty, respect, and caring to be a good one. It might be that he is through with this. Have you both tried talking with a marriage counselor? Or any counselor? That sometimes helps. Good luck, and best of everything.

It's only been one day but he communicates with me well and its bothering me that he is not calling me. I know he can stretch it out for a week or two and I texted him and told him I as gonna call him on Friday when he is not mad at me anymore and when he can speak to me in a non angry tone. He just texted me and said that he is calm. So I texted back and told him when ever he wants to talk to call me and that I will talk to him later and I said fiance' at the end. no response yet

I would follow the advice you've been given... don't communicate with him. Let him communicate with you first. He knows he can call you and he also knows he has the ball in his court.

You don't contact him. Wait for him to contact you. The ball is in his court.

Ok well now I can start my no contacting him. Since he texted me and I did just respond to him and he stated that he was calm because from an earlier text I asked him to stop being mad at me and that I see he needs space and a break so I'm going to give him one I guess that made him respond I'm not sure if it did or didn't but I'm not going to be contacting him

Your boyfriend lives with his Mom? and you have a child by him. I am sorry to hear about this. I don't understand why you communicated with your ex.
Please try talking with him again. Any relationship must have honesty, respect, and caring to be a good one. It might be that he is through with this. Have you both tried talking with a marriage counselor? or any counselor? That sometimes helps. Good luck, and best of everything.

No he does not live with his Mom we live together and he is visiting his Mom but because he is mad at me he is not saying when he is going to come back home. He is not really saying anything to reassure me to not think he is not upset and it bothers me he did however just say that he is calm I'm not sure what that means but I guess he is not mad at the moment

I would follow the advice you've been given....don't communicate with him. Let him communicate with you first. He knows he can call you and he also knows he has the ball in his court.

Yeah I just hate when I have to be ignored for something so stupid and that he is so called hurt by something so stupid to me and it's quite annoying

Yeah I just hate when I have to be ignored for something so stupid and that he is so called hurt by something so stupid to me and it's quite annoying
Well, it's time to ignore and wait.

First off, we know very little about your relationship with your boyfriend. For everyone who is saying that there is nothing wrong with you contacting your ex has not asked the right questions.

If you have a perfectly healthy relationship with your BF then I can see where this would be an issue. However, I seriously doubt it. No one is perfect.

Have you had issues with your ex in the past? Have you told your boyfriend that you're not talking to him? Have you fought over him before? Have you lied about talking to him? These are all things we need to know before we give you the benefit of the doubt and dismiss the boyfriend as insecure.

Two red flags I see are you communicating with your ex and your boyfriend checking your phone while you are in the shower.

He may be insecure, but why? Could it be because you are the cause of his behavior? Communicating with your ex without your boyfriends knowledge may raise questions.

Let me ask you this... if your boyfriend would have never looked at your phone, would you have told him that you and your ex communicated that day? Be honest.

Two red flags I see are you communicating with your ex and your boyfriend checking your phone while you are in the shower.

He may be insecure, but why? Could it be because you are the cause of his behavior? Communicating with your ex without your boyfriends knowledge may raise questions.

Let me ask you this....if your boyfriend would have never looked at your phone, would you have told him that you and your ex communicated that day? Be honest.

One he don't like me talking to men period this forum would make him mad but no I wouldn't say anything because he calls and he texts any guy that talks to me and he tells them to leave me alone and he tells them to stop talking to me

So my boyfriend has been texting me in a calm manner I'm not too excited about it because I don't see anything to be excited about but I am cautious and I'm still going to do the no contact

One he don't like me talking to men period this forum would make him mad but no I wouldn't say anything because he calls and he texts any guy that talks to me and he tells them to leave me alone and he tells them to stop talking to me

And I'm talking any man my family even he thinks everyone wants to talk to me and my friends are not my friends it's control to me but I don't know if it can be called something else and he doesn't like my ex he feels like I would rather be with my ex then him but thing is I don't talk to my ex he hit me up on Facebook and I wasn't even talking to him no more then two messages and one was telling him not to message me anymore so I'm confused as to why my dude is even mad when I don't mess with my ex at all

You do realize his attitude is going to have to change. He cannot be so controlling (if he is and has been). And you can't be either.

You do realize his attitude is going to have to change. He cannot be so controlling (if he is and has been). And you can't be either.

He is controlling I don't know if it has been something that he has been taught to be by his step father or what because I know that his step father is controlling but I tell him all the time he has to stop this and like he is talking to me it's more like I find myself asking him questions and things and he answers me I'm not saying I have to ask for his permission to do things but I do feel like if I don't say something about anything I want to do in the form of a question he is going to be mad

And I'm talking any man my family even he thinks everyone wants to talk to me and my friends are not my friends it's control to me but idk if it can be called something else and he doesn't like my ex he feels like I would rather be with my ex then him but thing is I don't talk to my ex he hit me up on Facebook and I wasn't even talking to him no more then two messages and one was telling him not to message me anymore so I'm confused as to why my dude is even mad when I don't mess with my ex at all

First you respond to your ex regarding the Super Bowl in a playful manner, then you tell him not to respond to you anymore? Something doesn't add up here...

What you should have done is NOT respond at all to your ex.

You are sending off mixed signals by being playful to your ex.

Don't get me wrong, your boyfriend does seem insecure by checking your phone. That is snooping. Something I frown upon. I don't believe in snooping. I believe in trust and communication. Something you two obviously lack in.

If you want to TRY to make your relationship work, then end these silly games.