Hello there I am new to this site so please bear with me. I have been seeing this guy on and off for about 3 1/2 years on and off. Over this past weekend we were getting a snow storm and I suffer from Panic Attacks and I get nervous when a snow storm comes and I need to be in my own apartment because that is where I feel safest during a situation like this.

And this has happened before with him, so he knows about it. So anyway, I told him how I was feeling and that I was going to stay to prove to him and myself that I could stay with him instead of going back to my safety net. He did not think that I was going to stay and said that if I was not going to stay that he wanted his keys back to his apartment and to never call him again, in which I told him that I was going to stay, and that telling him that I was anxious made me feel better and that my anxiety had went away.

So he wanted his keys anyway and he did not think that I would be there when he got back from work. He also said that since he has not been getting intimate with me lately he was going to go to a massage parlor and get it from someone there, which I thought was totally disrespectful. So I decided that when he left for work I was going to leave his apartment because I just felt totally humiliated that he would say something like that to me.

So when he got home from work and saw that I was not there he left me a rude message that I could not even stay there and put in a few choice words to make me feel bad. So now I told him a lie and said to him that I was going to my grandparents house because they lived only 1/2 hour from him and that my grandfather was in the hospital and that my grandmother was alone and wanted to be with her. I told him that I would leave the following day when my Aunt arrived to be with my Grandmother. So, I tried reaching him on several occasions on that same day to no avail. He ended up calling my grandmother's house at 10:30 pm mind you she is 88 years old to see if I was there, which obviously I was not and she told him that I was not there. So he texted me that he knew that I lied to him and that he called my grandmother and found out that I was not there. I still tried to get out of it by telling him that she was confused which she can be but that did not work.

So then I decided to tell him the truth and not dig myself in any deeper into the lie. So I texted him that he caught me in a lie and that I was sorry that I lied to him, I should have just been honest with him that I went home and felt more comfortable being home instead of his place during the storm. I told him that I did not mean to hurt his feelings and that I know I have some issues with lying sometimes and that I know I need to work on that as well as my Anxiety and that I was looking to get help.

So he told me that he could no longer be with someone that lied to him and that he was seeing someone else and to leave him alone. We have a history of him breaking up with me all of the time. At least 50 times in our 3 1/2 years of being together.

He suffers from Bipolar disorder or some other disorder and when things don't go his way he breaks up with me. We have been on again off again all of this time. So on many occasions I have felt uncomfortable being with him especially when I know that I would be stuck with him in a snow storm. He has threatened to call the cops on me if I have not left when he has asked me to which I always did I never stayed when he asked me to leave, so there was no need for him to call the cops. He has pushed me, and has thrown my clothes out of his apartment into the hallway, which totally freaked me out that he would do any off these things to me. It actually scared me that he would do something like that to me of course actually all of it scared me that he would do that to me.

He was in and out of the hospital when we first met because of this "Bipolar Disorder", and I stuck by him when he was in and out of the hospital, and all of the verbal and emotional abuse that he put me through when he was sick. But I stuck around because I knew that he was sick, and he always apologized when he new that he was wrong. And he would break up with me over every little thing. My question is do you think he had the right to break up with me over lying that I went to my grandparents house even though I came clean about it? He has not had his "bipolar disorder" symptoms per se but he still breaks up with me over every little thing and when he does not get what he wants he will break up with me also. Do you think that I am better off without him?

Could you rewrite your post and put some spaces in it, break up the paragraphs?

Right now your post is very hard to read, and not many people, myself included, will even try. It would help if it's easier to read. :)

I think both of you are better off without the other.

Your relationship sounds like a train wreck that keeps repeating itself. Is this how you want to
Iive the rest of your life ?

There are other ( better) people out there. Go and look for them without all of the drama.

You already know you shouldn't have lied to him and dragging your grandparents into the mess was a mistake too. I think you have learned your lesson on that subject. The lesson you seem to have problems with is learning when to let go and move on with your own life.

He seems to care about taking care of his needs and your needs do not seem to have any place in his life. Someone who cares about you would be understanding if you needed to go to your home to ride out a storm. He could have offered to stay with you. Instead you say you will stay and he still gets upset and tells you he is going to a prostitute to get some action. You should have walked out when those words left his mouth.

Now, it is understandable he would be upset about your lies. What isn't understandable is when he tells you he is seeing someone. That implies he had less feelings for you than it seemed. He either started looking the moment he found you were out of the house or he was already seeing her before any break-up occurred which means he has been cheating on you.

Bi-polar is not a disease a person ever gets over. It is a part of person for the rest of his/her life. It is a disorder that is manageable with the proper medications. It is not an excuse for bad behavior.

I would break off all contact with him. Delete his number, email address, etc. Take care of your own needs such as working on your panic attacks. The better you feel about yourself, the less likely you will be to allow him back into your life.

Now that this is off again leave it off forever. You have wasted enough time on this yo yo.

He breaks up with you over countless things, and each time you go back - presumably as soon as he says to. It sounds like you have lost self-respect and he has none for you. I don't think it's a good relationship, unless you can make some drastic changes in your ability to stick up for yourself, even when you have fears. But I don't think he's worth the work. He can't even show empathy for your wish to be in your own place during a storm. It doesn't matter if you call that panic attacks or not, or whether he is bipolar or not.

You need first of all to get professional help for your medical problem and forget about him for now. ( well just forget about him)
How are you ever going to move, live in another home if you have such fear of not being home in some cases.
This is the issue you need to deal with.

Thank you for your feedback. It has really helped.

Now that this is off again leave it off forever. You have wasted enough time on this yo yo.

Thank you for helping me with my problems. It really has helped.