View Full Version : To stay or leave
Hennali
Feb 10, 2013, 03:44 PM
I am in a relationship with a good man. However, we just do not get along. I know it both of our faults but he has a traumatic brain injury from a car accident 8 years ago. I did not notice the affects until we moved in together 2 years ago. Anyway, his injury is in the frontal lobe and I won't go into too much detail except that his emotional level is not of a man age 27 and rather a 12 year old boy. He is extremely smart however. I have two young kids from a previous relationship. They do not remember life without this man they call dad. I feel I will damage them by leaving what makes them feel safe, loved, and secure. We do not allow them to see us fight. We started therapy a few weeks ago and it hasn't helped. I know it's still early. We are both good people but we just do not enjoy the same things and we disagree on most everything. If it was not for my children I may have already left. It sounds pathetic I know and I don't want any judgment here just some advice. Thank you.
smearcase
Feb 10, 2013, 06:21 PM
Can you give some detail about his behavior (emotional level of a 12 year old boy characteristics etc) and what are the the types of issues that cause the disagreements?
Does he receive disability payments? Is he employed?
I am no expert but I think that others will try to help if you can be more specific.
Alty
Feb 10, 2013, 06:36 PM
How old are your children?
Divorce happens with over 50% of marriages in today's world. I realize you're not married, but, most divorces involve children, and most of those children end up being just fine. In other words, staying for the kids is not necessary.
If you don't see this relationship getting an better, than the sooner you leave, the quicker you and your children can heal.
Get the kids into therapy if you think they'll be affected by this split. Even if you try to keep the kids away when you fight, believe me, they know. They may actually be happier once you leave and you find happiness.
Best of luck to you.
talaniman
Feb 10, 2013, 06:50 PM
Only you can decide to stay or go, and what's best for the children is a happy healthy home. But therapy takes years maybe for positive results and if nothing else to learn to cope with what you have. No such things as instant results.
You sound tired of the process is my take on this.