jessa90
Jan 21, 2013, 02:50 AM
Sorry for the long question in advance it's a hard situation
I've been speaking to a woman for a few months that I met online. I stayed at her house twice. She lives about 84 miles from me. She's ten years older than me I'm 22 and she's 32. We kissed and had sex on both times we met. But we have been good friends. Even though she said she liked me and we used to have phone sex she said she couldn't do the distance and age gap.
But last month while out with friends she started talking to another girl. And Sarah told me that she started talking to this girl and she would meet her some time. At the same time she told me that I had started getting on well with a girl off a dating site who was from my area and only a year younger than me. I told Sarah this and things seemed OK. But then Sarah (who used to phone me each day) would only call me every three days. When I asked about phone sex she used the excuse she wasn't horny lately. And I started to feel a bit rejected. Because even though we would stay friends if she found someone, she left me out a lot. For example she wouldn't always text back. Like if she's busy she doesn't reply for a few hours, but it got to where she wouldn't return messages. So I texted a bit more than I should because I was getting fed up of her ignoring me and not givng me the attention she used to. And I felt so left out sometimes it made me feel angry. And lately we've been falling out, saying things to each other that weren't nice. But she made me feel unwanted when she just pushed me aside like that. She told me on the phone she was meeting this girl. I'd tell her about hoping to meet the girl I'm speaking to. She sent me a text saying "you say you like me so much then you keeping telling me about this girl you want to meet." then she'd have a go at me telling me I was texting too much. When she didn't always reply like she used to. But when I explained this she snapped "i reply to all of your texts" which wasn't true.
We sort of made up two weeks ago on the Wednesday. Things weren't the way they used to be, but we did get on better. Then on the Saturday I started going out with Natalie. Who I've not met yet but will do soon. I told Sarah and she said "you gave me all that stick for nothing. dont' worry about it." I said to Sarah are we still friends and she said "yes"
But on the Monday, my girlfriend went into hospital for a few months because she has stress disorder. I told Sarah and asked Sarah to ring me. Because I was very upset and worried about my girlfriend and I wanted a friend to talk to. Even just to cry to. Sarah said she can't because she's at her ex's. Then later on said she's too busy to phone me. Then she's got to make a phone call. Who, of course was her pathetic girlfriend. Even when I asked her to be there for me, asked her for comfort she was so busy that she found time to phone her girlfrined before bed. And that really hurt me how she could just forget about me who'd been in tears all day. So I sent her a few messages telling her how I felt. I told her "if you're that busy then you dont' need to phone her do you?" and she didn't like it when I told her on text that I turned to her and she wasn't there to comfort me.
The next morning Sarah phoned med me. I tried to talk to her but all she was was snappy. Saying that I'd said things to make her feel guilty. I got upset on the phone and said "all i wanted was you there. My girlfriend went into hospital and i wanted you there." and even though I got upset, she didn't even react to it except to say "if i choose to phone her instead of you that's my choice!" and that was so cruel of her. Then she said she's not going to come running. And I thought to myself, you'd come running for your stupid girl wouldn't you? I felt like I'd been let down by someone who I thought was my friend. After this call we didn't speak. I texted her the next day and basically said that I feel we have both said hurtful things and can we sort this out. Her response was "sorry but i dont think its a good idea to continue being mates" without even one kiss on it. I texted back, trying to sort it out. She said "i think there has been too much said and i can't do it anymore. Hope you and your girlfriend work out all the best."
And I messaged her two days later after I'd left it for a day. And she either ignores me or says something along the lines of the text before. I've not tried phoning I just texted. And now she tells me please stop texting. But she never siad sorry for when she upset me. I appologized for the things I'd said. But sometimes she did provoke me by saying something first or making me feel left out.
So my question is should I try and fix this? And if so, how can I fix it? I thought me and her were good friends. But then she wasn't a good friend to forget about me and put phoning that girl first when I had been upset. So how do I fix this? And do you think she is a good friend? Because I don't think she is since she met that girl. Before that we were good friends. Please help. I'm not jealous of her girlfriend. Because I've got a girlfriend myself. But I'm not going to be swiped aside like that
I've been speaking to a woman for a few months that I met online. I stayed at her house twice. She lives about 84 miles from me. She's ten years older than me I'm 22 and she's 32. We kissed and had sex on both times we met. But we have been good friends. Even though she said she liked me and we used to have phone sex she said she couldn't do the distance and age gap.
But last month while out with friends she started talking to another girl. And Sarah told me that she started talking to this girl and she would meet her some time. At the same time she told me that I had started getting on well with a girl off a dating site who was from my area and only a year younger than me. I told Sarah this and things seemed OK. But then Sarah (who used to phone me each day) would only call me every three days. When I asked about phone sex she used the excuse she wasn't horny lately. And I started to feel a bit rejected. Because even though we would stay friends if she found someone, she left me out a lot. For example she wouldn't always text back. Like if she's busy she doesn't reply for a few hours, but it got to where she wouldn't return messages. So I texted a bit more than I should because I was getting fed up of her ignoring me and not givng me the attention she used to. And I felt so left out sometimes it made me feel angry. And lately we've been falling out, saying things to each other that weren't nice. But she made me feel unwanted when she just pushed me aside like that. She told me on the phone she was meeting this girl. I'd tell her about hoping to meet the girl I'm speaking to. She sent me a text saying "you say you like me so much then you keeping telling me about this girl you want to meet." then she'd have a go at me telling me I was texting too much. When she didn't always reply like she used to. But when I explained this she snapped "i reply to all of your texts" which wasn't true.
We sort of made up two weeks ago on the Wednesday. Things weren't the way they used to be, but we did get on better. Then on the Saturday I started going out with Natalie. Who I've not met yet but will do soon. I told Sarah and she said "you gave me all that stick for nothing. dont' worry about it." I said to Sarah are we still friends and she said "yes"
But on the Monday, my girlfriend went into hospital for a few months because she has stress disorder. I told Sarah and asked Sarah to ring me. Because I was very upset and worried about my girlfriend and I wanted a friend to talk to. Even just to cry to. Sarah said she can't because she's at her ex's. Then later on said she's too busy to phone me. Then she's got to make a phone call. Who, of course was her pathetic girlfriend. Even when I asked her to be there for me, asked her for comfort she was so busy that she found time to phone her girlfrined before bed. And that really hurt me how she could just forget about me who'd been in tears all day. So I sent her a few messages telling her how I felt. I told her "if you're that busy then you dont' need to phone her do you?" and she didn't like it when I told her on text that I turned to her and she wasn't there to comfort me.
The next morning Sarah phoned med me. I tried to talk to her but all she was was snappy. Saying that I'd said things to make her feel guilty. I got upset on the phone and said "all i wanted was you there. My girlfriend went into hospital and i wanted you there." and even though I got upset, she didn't even react to it except to say "if i choose to phone her instead of you that's my choice!" and that was so cruel of her. Then she said she's not going to come running. And I thought to myself, you'd come running for your stupid girl wouldn't you? I felt like I'd been let down by someone who I thought was my friend. After this call we didn't speak. I texted her the next day and basically said that I feel we have both said hurtful things and can we sort this out. Her response was "sorry but i dont think its a good idea to continue being mates" without even one kiss on it. I texted back, trying to sort it out. She said "i think there has been too much said and i can't do it anymore. Hope you and your girlfriend work out all the best."
And I messaged her two days later after I'd left it for a day. And she either ignores me or says something along the lines of the text before. I've not tried phoning I just texted. And now she tells me please stop texting. But she never siad sorry for when she upset me. I appologized for the things I'd said. But sometimes she did provoke me by saying something first or making me feel left out.
So my question is should I try and fix this? And if so, how can I fix it? I thought me and her were good friends. But then she wasn't a good friend to forget about me and put phoning that girl first when I had been upset. So how do I fix this? And do you think she is a good friend? Because I don't think she is since she met that girl. Before that we were good friends. Please help. I'm not jealous of her girlfriend. Because I've got a girlfriend myself. But I'm not going to be swiped aside like that