We got to know one another a year ago. We became close friends and there seemed to be chemistry between us. Even though we were close, we had ups and downs and at a point our communication cut down. One summer afternoon, I received a phone call from him saying he's in town and would like to see me. I wanted to see him, but because of our previous fights and his no adequate reason to see him, I decided not to. (again I was pressured by family members not to).

Three months later, I heard that he got engaged. My heart was shattered but I learned to move on. A month ago he contacted me saying he wants us to be friends. I confronted him that with all the chemistry we had between us and with my emotions, we can't possibly be friends. It was then that he discovered that I love him and I too discovered that he feels the same.

We started our friendship which is turning out to be more than a friendship. I'm falling in love more and more with him. We don't want to let go, at the same time we don't want to hurt one another. I can't let him brea up with his fiancé, it's not fair, neither does he want to do so. We need a solution that will make the three of us come out unhurt. Is there any possible way?

In a situation such as this, someone is going to get hurt. There is no way to avoid that.

Since he is getting married, it would be best for you to bow out of the situation entirely.

You need to stop talking with him, and move on.

Lots of people going to get hurt if you continue with this

Get out of his life completely and STAY out.

I didn't enter his life again purposely. He forced me in. I tried to explain and tell him that I'm withdrawing, but he wouldn't listen. Instead he kept me quiet and said he doen't want to lose me. What else could I do? I love him and I don't want to hurt him and I don't want to hurt.


Get out of his life completely and STAY out.
He's the one in my life, not vice versa.


you need to stop talking with him, and move on.

Lots of people going to get hurt if you continue with this

I tried telling him this morning that I am withdrawing. But he didn't even listen, saying he wouldn't let me leave now that he knows how both of us feel for one another.

Sorry he cannot force you to do anything unless its physical (as he's a man). For your own mental wellbeing a clean break is needed here.

I would go as far to say: "You are engaged. You are engaged not to me but another women. You made your choice. For myself I am removing myself from this situation. Please do no contact me again."

If in a year or two you are both fully over each other then you can be friends. I have seen it happen with ex's.

Harshness Warning


So he is forcing you to be his chick on the side while he is engaged and gets married and has a family and kids?? How stupid do you think we are lady?

You blame him because you don't have the good sense to say no to a cheater. That's totally ridicules and dishonest and you better stop lying to yourself and US!!

This kind of chemistry/love is false, unhealthy and selfish, and everybody gets hurt except him because he knows what a desperate dilly bar you are to fall for anything he says, and do what ever he wants even if you know its wrong.

I mean you do know you BOTH are WRONG don't you?? Trust me, he won't be hurt and if he is his future wife will lick his wounds and heal his hurt.

Have you NO SHAME????