I've been having these thoughts telling me I'm gay for awhile, I'd say about since September. I've learned to deal with them. I can confidently say I'm straight, because ever since I was a child I had always like girls and always got those goose bumps when a girl would say she liked me, you know just that good feeling! I want to know will these thoughts ever subside and leave my mind? Friends I've talked to have said, "Get a girlfriend, so when these thoughts come up you can just say hey, you know I have a girlfriend I really like and enjoy so this isn't true", I thought maybe they could be right because I've had no experience with girls whatsoever. I'm not really in a panic anymore about these thoughts but I would them like to go away. I really miss that peace of mind I had back in my middle school days. In the end, I just want my peace of mind back, I've explored my sexuality by just talking to kids in my school I know are gay (not in a flirty way or any type of sexual way) just to see if I got anything out of it, and I'm confident in saying that I'm not a homosexual. I know I'm only 15 and I still have a long ways to go and this shouldn't be a worry but you know I just need the help, and need my peace of mind back so I can concentrate on school and wrestling, the important stuff in my life. So does anyone have any advice?

Concentrate on school and wrestling, and those thoughts will disappear.

On December 1st, you posted this: "I've learned to deal with those thoughts that tell me I'm gay and ignore them because I got answers and found out the real me, the me that's been there all along."

Concentrate on school and wrestling, and those thoughts will disappear.

On December 1st, you posted this: "I've learned to deal with those thoughts that tell me I'm gay and ignore them because I got answers and found out the real me, the me that's been there all along."

They will disappear for maybe up to two weeks at a time but then just come back, I posted that because I really thought they were gone, but once again they came back. I can ignore them sometimes, other times they bother me and I get in this huge self conflict with myself. It's all very confusing to be honest. Like I said, I just want my peace of mind back!

My PERMANENT peace of mind back to be more exact.

Dismiss the thoughts when they surface, get busy with something that interests you, and thus sublimate. It's your choice to allow those thoughts to take over or not.

Dismiss the thoughts when they surface, get busy with something that interests you, and thus sublimate. It's your choice to allow those thoughts to take over or not.

I'll try it and see how it goes, once again thank you for the advice!

How Do I Know I'm Not Gay? (Homosexuality obsessions) (http://www.wsps.info/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=65:how-do-i-know-im-not-gay-homosexuality-obsessions&catid=0) Read this article, it's kind of like an all access to my mind when the thoughts start to occur.

Why are you still here posting about this and not being busy with an enjoyable project? The more you talk about this and think about it and worry about it, the more of a problem it will be. You are your own worst enemy!! STOP!!

I don't like to think about animals being tortured and abused, but I don't allow myself to dwell on it.

Think about white bears.

I just had a sudden realization.

You know what I'm just over thinking this whole thing. I'm not gay and I never will be. Nor do I have OCD. This all so retarded, why do I even obsess over this stuff, like it's so stupid and not worth my time. Yet I keep coming back because I want to see other people tell my I'm strait to have the anxiety and worry go down. I need to tell myself I'm strait. Your right, F#$% these thoughts, I'm turning on the music and escaping from this world. I'm done with months of sadness and panic because of the possibility of me being gay. I am my own worst enemy, and that enemy is going to face it's FINAL defeat. On goes the music, and away goes the world...

And I will love you no matter what. We're listening to Christmas music and cleaning house to get ready to put up the tree and decorate it. I'm going to go off the computer to wrap some Christmas gifts and eat a few Christmas cookies. My cats are napping, my husband is growling over the Chicago Bears' loss this afternoon, and he just made a cup of coffee for me to have with the cookies. Life is good. Oh, and you're darn cute too.

And I will love you no matter what. We're listening to Christmas music and cleaning house to get ready to put up the tree and decorate it. I'm going to go off the computer to wrap some Christmas gifts and eat a few Christmas cookies. My cats are napping, my husband is growling over the Chicago Bears' loss this afternoon, and he just made a cup of coffee for me to have with the cookies. Life is good. Oh, and you're darn cute too.

I just went back on to see if you responded... And it's weird, it's almost like I know you, even though I've never even seen who you are? I just had to point that out haha.

I just went back on to see if you responded... And it's weird, it's almost like I know you, even though I've never even seen who you are? I just had to point that out haha.
We've probably been in the same line at Walgreen's.

We've probably been in the same line at Walgreen's.

That's weird haha, I was just at a Walgreens just this week lol.

That's weird haha, I was just at a Walgreens just this week lol.
I'm psychotic.

I'm psychotic.

Interesting haha

I think every kid goes through this state boy or girl. I went through something like you are. It will go away. :)

You may be gay, you may not be gay. What's for sure is that if you're 15 years old, you're in the middle of a storm of hormones that's going to rage for a few more years. Instead of trying to figure out if you're gay or straight, just know that both are acceptable in our society. Whichever turns out to be true for you will be OK.

I wouldn't rush out and get a girlfriend. Date a girl if and when you meet one that you like enough to want to date. You may well not be ready to date. That's fine and that's normal. Since you are confused to some degree, I would recommend that you wait to date until you have a real crush on someone. If you are gay you will not be attracted to most men - just certain ones. If you are straight, you will not be attracted to most girls - just certain ones. So you can't be testing yourself constantly, like, thinking of some random girl or guy and figuring out if you are attracted to them. When you do fall in love with someone, you'll know a lot more and until then, there's no rush.

I just had a sudden realization.

You know what I'm just over thinking this whole thing. I'm not gay and I never will be. Nor do I have OCD. This all so retarded, why do I even obsess over this stuff, like it's so stupid and not worth my time. Yet I keep coming back because I want to see other people tell my I'm strait to have the anxiety and worry go down. I need to tell myself I'm strait. Your right, F#$% these thoughts, I'm turning on the music and escaping from this world. I'm done with months of sadness and panic because of the possibility of me being gay. I am my own worst enemy, and that enemy is going to face it's FINAL defeat. On goes the music, and away goes the world...

"I'm done with months of sadness and panic because of the possibility of me being gay. I am my own worst enemy, and that enemy is going to face it's FINAL defeat." You know it is sentences like those that makes we in the gay crowd feel like we are so wrong and that there is just something terribly wrong because of who we are. (Stepping off my soapbox now... )

"Nor do I have OCD." I've always called it Obsessive Compulsive Qualities or OCQ. It makes me feel better when I say that.

I don't think you have anything to worry about and I agree you can fill your mind up with other fun activities than worrying about this subject. Regardless if you are, if you're not, if you ever will be or won't be, be yourself and have a blast being yourself. You know I am gay. But being gay is just one little part of who I am. I am so much more and you will be as well.

Have fun!

I just don't want to be gay because I'd just be so unhappy, I've been so happy being strait. And I'm sorry I don't want any gay people to take offense, I'm just going through a tough time right now. I know I would be accepted as gay, I talked to my mother and she said she would love me no matter what. But just the thought of being gay for me just makes me uncomfortable, and I notice myself getting uncomfortable around other guys now and it's weird. I used be all about the bro hugs you know? No gay anything with it, just hugging a dude. Haha, but anyway, I'm getting an appointment for a therapist soon, this stuff is beyond me. Just the anxiety, my thoughts and everything is overwhelming right now. Thanks for the advice from all three of you! Remember I'm not trying to offend gays, they've probably helped me over the internet just as good as anyone.

One more thing, I believe in the whole "Your sexuality is imprinted at birth". And my whole life I've been strait, I can remember way back to when I would always want to sit with this girl in kindergarten. I remember I got so excited when she gave me a hug haha, it's just things like that tell me... how could I be gay? Thanks again guys!

I'm getting an appointment for a therapist soon, this stuff is beyond me.
I'm glad. Talking through this with an unbiased person in real life is just what you need to do. And I will tell you what I told each of my clients -- the therapy, the talking, is for YOU, so if something doesn't seem right or it isn't going how you think it should, hold up your hand like a stop sign and tell the therapist, "Stop! This part isn't working for me!" Then you and he/she can review where you are and talk about what seems to be wrong or not working for you. Too many clients let it all float along and then later say the therapy was no good or didn't help. I don't want you to end up that way, so speak up when you need to take a break to reassess. Okay?

I'm glad. Talking through this with an unbiased person in real life is just what you need to do. And I will tell you what I told each of my clients -- the therapy, the talking, is for YOU, so if something doesn't seem right or it isn't going how you think it should, hold up your hand like a stop sign and tell the therapist, "Stop! This part isn't working for me!" Then you and he/she can review where you are and talk about what seems to be wrong or not working for you. Too many clients let it all float along and then later say the therapy was no good or didn't help. I don't want you to end up that way, so speak up when you need to take a break to reassess. Okay?

Ok I will, I'm determined to solve this problem.

I just don't want to be gay because I'd just be so unhappy, I've been so happy being strait. And I'm sorry I don't want any gay people to take offense, I'm just going through a tough time right now. I know I would be accepted as gay, I talked to my mother and she said she would love me no matter what. But just the thought of being gay for me just makes me uncomfortable, and I notice myself getting uncomfortable around other guys now and it's weird. I used be all about the bro hugs you know? No gay anything with it, just hugging a dude. Haha, but anyways, I'm getting an appointment for a therapist soon, this stuff is beyond me. Just the anxiety, my thoughts and everything is overwhelming right now. Thanks for the advice from all three of you! Remember I'm not trying to offend gays, they've probably helped me over the internet just as good as anyone.

For the record I wasn't offended by what you said. I was just making a point.

I do think you are putting way too much pressure on yourself about this issue. It really isn't a big deal that thoughts are popping into your head. They are just thoughts and not something we can totally control (I think). If you have been happy being straight and you know you're straight then continue to be straight. Everything will be okay at that point. And as a teenager (I think - can't remember your age from yesterday which is probably due to my age :) ) many other thoughts are going to pop into your head. Think them through and you will be okay.

Not a bad idea to talk to someone else, I agree. You also might want to look at some dealing with stress techniques. For me it is tennis and racquetball along with watch a favorite comedy. But find your own and again, it is going to be okay.

It's been like two months since I've been on this website... Which is good in my case. So I came to the conclusion (with help), that these thoughts are OCD related... I think the exact term is HOCD. I mean it's a relief because I never wanted to be gay and never will, but it doesn't make the thoughts go away. I do exercises I guess you could call them, and they work, but what I have to live with is OCD is pretty much a permanent thing, there's no real medication for it. Although I'll have the thoughts of being gay, I'll always know I'm straight. I also learned that many straight males think gay thoughts, some like them, (I don't lol). Well I guess that's just an update for the people that helped me daily, I still thank them. Later everyone.

Actually, a LOT can be done for people with OCD. As OCD is often related to irrational fear, I can see how a guy could have obsessive compulsive fears/thoughts about being gay when he's not attracted to men. It's just an amped up worry with no basis in reality.

Just as many people with OCD behaviors related to cleanliness (irrational fears of germs), driving (irrational concerns over whether they hit something and didn't realize it) and so on do get help and become desensitized to these worries, and are able to overcome the behaviors and anxiety, so can you.

Please find a good therapist and psychiatrist who specialize in treating OCD. You need both because the therapist will help you with behavioral components and the psychiatrist will manage medication.

Let us know how you're doing. Don't be prisoner to this - you really can be helped.

All right, I'll take that into consideration, I hope my mom's insurance can cover it though :/ because I'm a little tight on money.

I call it OCQ as in Obsessive Compulsive Qualities. It makes me feel better!

I'm not gay though...

I'm not gay though...

But I have to ask... so what if you were?

But I have to ask....so what if you were?

I have nothing against gays, and there would be nothing wrong with it... But it's not what makes me happy, I do not dandy the thought of being with another man. Quite frankly it scares me. So I don't see it as a quality of mine, because I'm not gay haha. That's all I meant.

And then you may ask, well why does it scare you? And like the one user said, it's related to irrational fear. It's all in this strange head of mine. Haha.

I only asked because after all seemed to be pretty much sorted out here, you had to post a final word as if to assure all of us that you aren't gay. It just seemed odd.

I was bullied and people called me gay and other stuff when I was in middle school. It's an instinct, just always do something to prove your not gay to others...

And what are you trying to say, I'm in self-denial or something? Please give me your opinion, all are welcomed or I wouldn't be posting this.

I was bullied in school as well... many of us were. I was called gay and other things that I won't post here because it really doesn't matter. I'm not gay but I also don't feel the need to prove I'm not to someone. To be honest, I no longer care what anyone thinks.

And no, I wasn't saying that you're in self-denial... I just thought it was odd that you had to have a final post to us to say again that you're not gay... nobody here judged you or accused you of being gay so why the need to let us know again? Who knows... maybe you are in self denial.

I totally agree with odinn7, but that is nothing new. You don't have to convince us that you are not gay. You don't even know us. The problem lies with the fact that you might be trying to convince yourself that you are not gay. You seem to be obsessed with it. But then again it sounds like you focus on many things very hard and can't get passed it.

Ok thanks, I'm just going to end it at this, I've liked girls since I hit puberty back in 6th grade... The answer lies right there because I don't believe you can change someone's sexuality, but I overthank the crap out it really, which relates to obsession... HOCD, I'm positive I got the answer for myself... This is probably the last post you will be seeing from me about sexuality!