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View Full Version : Poem of d-day final draft


SweetPea95
Dec 11, 2012, 09:36 AM
Okay I got my limit that I need to have which is 10 lines. I got it but I don't know if it good enough for my teacher (he is very picky) and I would like some opinions :)

D-Day Tragedy
On June 6, 1944….Bombs rain down from the sky, while cries are heard by the ears of those still fighting.
After crying “Mom! Mommy! Mommy!” silence takes over their cries as their eyes are closed shut into deep sleep.
As casualties increase, all the friends decrease…. Seeing dead bodies among the beaches, but yet they still tread through the hurt.
Threads of planes, one by one, cut through the clouds of the unknown, throwing bullets at each other, one….by….one.
Explosions all around, fear all around, no comfort to hold….
A son is torn away from his beloved mother, his relatives torn away from the beloved boy.
Smothered with tears to the ones that fall and never return. Sorrows hit the ground where the allies’ brothers sleep with final comfort.
Heaps of bodies…Heaps of souls taken to heaven with God’s loving hand.
Till the end…Allis stand their ground, through stronghold their bodies live through the horror.
At last…. The day comes…Adolf Hitler no more. See you lying dead on the floor, with your head blasted in. Laughter filled through-out the nation. Drinks on me for all the troops! All happiness FREED!

teacherjenn4
Dec 11, 2012, 06:35 PM
What grade are you in so I can help you better?

SweetPea95
Dec 11, 2012, 06:39 PM
I am in 11th