I have a neighbor in the building I live In who has been telling people that I have been stealing her mail. This is because we have the same last name. She had admitted that she took my mail and threw it in the cinerator I always returned to sender her mail after his situation. For three years I wasn't receiving any mail had many financial problems due to not receiving any mail. I don't receive any of her mail at all I made sure I put it to a stop by sending the mail back to the sender who was sending it to the wrong address. I need help with this situation I'm being made out to look like a thief when all I am is a home maker and a dedicated mom. If you can help me I would appreciate it.
Regards
Wanda

I can understand that her mail might end up in your mailbox and vice versa once in a while. That happens occasionally to many of us, even when the names and addresses are completely different. But, kind of strange that the sender had your address on file for her- if that is what you are saying. If they were her bills that you were receiving, I would be at least a little suspicious that it was a ploy.
Aside from talking to the Post Office and maybe to the carriers too and asking them to make certain that your mail doesn't go in her mailbox, and telling them why it is critical that they do so, the only other thing you can do is to continue returning her mail to the sender.
Renting a P.O. Box might narrow the problem down but would probably be an inconvenience for you, but in the long run it should stop your mail from going to her box, which seems to be a very dangerous thing to happen in your case. Returning hers to the sender is just a minor inconvenience for you.

Part of the story appears to be missing. Where does the defamation come in? Who is making "you" look like a thief?

Did you report the destruction of your mail by the other person (and it's incinerator, not cinerator) to the PO or the Police? Is this before a Judge or Court? Is there some sort of pending action?

Here is what you need in order to prove defamation (NOTE that you must be harmed and must be able to PROVE the information/statements have harmed you.):

"Generally speaking:

Defamation is the issuance of a false statement about another person, which causes that person to suffer harm.

Slander involves the making of defamatory statements by a transitory (non-fixed) representation, usually an oral (spoken) representation.

Libel involves the making of defamatory statements in a fixed or medium, such as a magazine or newspaper.

The typical elements of a cause of action for defamation are:

A false and defamatory statement concerning another;
The unprivileged publication of the statement to a third party;
If the defamatory matter is of public concern, fault amounting at least to negligence on the part of the publisher; and
Damage to the plaintiff.
Within the context of defamation law, a statement is considered to have been "published" when it is made to a third party, meaning somebody other than the plaintiff in the malpractice action. The reference to "publication" refers to this communication to a third party, regardless of the means of communication, and does not mean that the defamatory statement has to be in print.

Damages in defamation actions are typically to the reputation of the plaintiff. Depending upon the laws of the jurisdiction, a plaintiff may be able to sustain a defamation action on the basis of mental anguish, even in the absence of any other claim of harm or damage.

While actions for defamation arose from common law traditions, most jurisdictions have passed statutes which modify the common law definitions of defamation, libel and slander. These statutes may change the elements of the cause of action, limit the circumstances under which an action may be filed, or modify the available defenses to an action for defamation. Some statutes even require that the defendant be given the opportunity to apologize before the plaintiff can seek non-economic damages.

Defamation Per Se
Most jurisdictions recognize "per se" defamation, in which the allegations made by the defendant are presumed to cause damage to the plaintiff. Normally in personal injury litigation, including actions for defamation, the plaintiff bears the burden of proof. Within the context of defamation, that means that the plaintiff must establish by a preponderance of the evidence that the defendant's statements were false, and that the defendant knew or reasonably should have known them to be false at the time the statements were made. Defamation per se provides a significant exception to that rule: Typically, where the statements made by the defendant constitute defamation per se, the defendant has the burden of proving that the allegations are true.

Typically, the following may consititute defamation per se:

Allegations that an unmarried person is unchaste;
Allegations that a person is infected with a sexually transmitted disease;
Attacks on a person's professional character or standing;
Allegations that the person has committed a crime of moral turpitude;
Additionally, some states consider allegations that a married person was unfaithful to constitute defamation per se.

Defenses To Accusations of Defamation
Defenses to a lawsuit alleging defamation include:

Truth: Truth is considered to be an "absolute defense" to a defamation action. If the statements made by the defendant are true, a defamation action cannot succeed.

Privilege: Sometimes the defendant will be legally shielded from a defamation action. For example, statements made by witnesses and lawyers in court, by judges from the bench, and by legislators on the floor of the legislature during legislative proceedings, are considered to be "privileged", and will not support a cause of action for defamation no matter how false, reckless or outrageous the statements may be.

Opinion: It is said that a person's mere opinion, as opposed to an allegation of fact, cannot give rise to an action for defamation. It is important to note, though, that a statement which superficially appears to be an opinion may nonetheless contain a sufficient factual element to support a defamation action. The content and context of the statement will typically be considered in determining if the statement is actionable. A statement by an employer to the effect of, "Joe Smith is a pathological liar" is far less likely to be regarded as a mere opinion than a statement by a casual acquaintance. A statement by Joe Smith's psychotherapist to that effect, while possibly also violating duties of confidentiality, appears to be a medical diagnosis and thus, if false, may also support an action for defamation. Some jurisdictions have eliminated the distinction between fact and opinion in defamation actions, and instead hold that any statement that suggests a factual basis can support a cause of action for defamation.

Fair Comment: Where a statement is found to be a "fair comment on a matter of public interest", the statement will not ordinarily support an action for defamation. For example, if the mayor of a town is involved in a corruption scandal, the expression of an opinion that you believe the allegations are credible is not likely to support a defamation action against you.

Innocent Dissemination: Where the defendant transmits a message without awareness of its content, the defendant may be able to raise the defense of innocent dissemination. For example, the post office cannot be held liable for delivering a letter which has defamatory content, as it is unaware of the content of the letters it delivers.

Consent: Although unusual, in some circumstances a defendant may attempt to argue that the plaintiff consented to the dissemination of the allegedly defamatory statement.

A defendant may also attempt to illustrate that the plaintiff had a poor reputation in the community, in order to diminish any claim for damages resulting from the defamatory statements." http://www.attorneys-usa.com/intentional/defamation.html

It's lengthy and a private site but it's good info.

You say you live in the same building. Therefore you share the same street address. Do you specify a unit # when giving your address.

If you accidentally get mail in your box, I would knock on the neighbors door and give her her mail. If it happened repeatedly, I would report it to the Postmaster.

But that doesn't solve your problem. Unless you can prove she is destroying your mail, your recourses is to get a PO box.

@judy Kay tee... Sorry for the typo but I'm a very busy person so I was unable to view what I was typing. I take any mail that is put in my box to which ever neighbor it belongs to I use to take the neighbor (I'm writing about) her mail to her I also have spoken to the post master as well as the supervisor at the postal office. Purchasing a PO box is impossible since there is a very long waiting list for them. I reported this neighbor to the post office supervisor when she admitted that she was trashing my mail for over three years, but once she found out she went and reported me no matter how many times I told her I don't get her mail. My box is always broken into stickers are placed on my mail and most of the times the box is open with no mail inside. I have made this situation visible to my building manager as well as the post office. Now for over a year she has been speaking to other tenants that reside in the same building saying to be careful cause I like to steal mail that I have been stealing hers. I have called the police for threats of her pistol whipping my daughter and the police know who she is and state that she has issues with many people. Still nothing gets done. Tenants watch me as I go to my mailbox as well as when I step out my home. It's become a issue for me and my children. She has even thrown a big rock out her window which missed my head by inches. We both reside in a high rise on the high floors. I'm trying to figure out the next step which might be to move out.

The problem you have with a defamation claim is that you would have to show that you suffered in a specific way. Being embarrassed is not adequate. If this prevented you from getting a job, cost you money, caused you to loose a customer in your business and impacted your income, etc. you might have a case.

As it is, you just need to do what others have suggested to make sure the postal carrier understands that there's a feud about this issue and they must give your mail to you and hers to her.

Returning mail to the sender when you know very well that the correct addressee lives in the same building, and where, is an inconsiderate thing to do. What you should have done is, as ScottGem suggests, give it to that person, or write on the mail "wrong address; deliver to ____". If you get tired of that, print out a sheet of address labels with that message on it.

Returning mail to the sender when you know very well that the correct addressee lives in the same building, and where, is an inconsiderate thing to do. What you should have done is, as ScottGem suggests, give it to that person, or write on the mail "wrong address; deliver to ____". If you get tired of that, print out a sheet of address labels with that message on it.

... Or just simply put it in their box or under their door.