I had an affair with a co-worker, fell madly in love, both of us divorced our spouses and moved in together. Sex and relationship was great but our exs caused a lot of arguments and heartache (esp mine, since it took me a couple of back and forths to make sure I was not making a mistake, then my ex threatened him). We both were very busy with work, children and trying to build a new life. Never fought about money, kids, etc.. it was a good homelife. I'm sure I changed and at times was hard to deal with (I'm OCD and he is messy) but most of the time we are both very easy-going, non-ing and have we never "fussed" on ea other for anything... he could play golf, bowl, hunt, work... whatever he wanted and I was happy at home or found something else to do. Three years in, I started working a lot of hours, he got mad but never said anything (felt unwanted, 0 attention I hear now), and I wanted a new home instead of his ex-wife's house which we had to take back due to non-payment being made - and it was in his name. FINALLY... we had a falling out. 1 fight in 3 years.
I still love him very much. Going to work is hard. At least our offices are not close together and I stay away from him as much as possible. He certainly ignores me as much as possible. I understand but it still hurts a lot. I just can't imagine how he can "get over me" in a few weeks. He will not look, speak, communicate whatsoever. His statement when I left (text, no less) I was: "I cannot stand you. I don't want to see you, hear you or be near you whatsoever. You are not good for me, you are a know-it-all (yea and HE is a nerd so imagine what he doesn't know), and you are selfish". This was the FIRST time he had ever said anything like this to me. I was shocked because I never knew he felt any of this. We had a fun, happy, loving relationship and I thought we were just having a fight. He won't explain anything... won't even look at me. What's up with men? What happened? How can he "hate" when I know WE were the love of each other's life? I know how he felt, I could see it and feel it... He was madly in love with me... now it's all gone in a month? Sometimes I think his family and friends of "times before me" influence him. His old friends want to party all the time and I was not the type. I would go sometimes but certainly not every weekend. I just cannot get my mind around it. HELP... please HELP!
Thanks... TNGirl