dsprimal
Nov 14, 2012, 05:45 PM
Hey everyone, this is my first question on this site. I've already gathered TONS of good info from this site and wish to get some more information on my particular situation. I will keep it as short and to the point as possible.
Scroll all the way down to the question if you don't feel like reading the history behind it. Please give as much input as possible. Thanks ahead of time!
Age: Me - 25
Girl - 20
We have known each other for roughly a year, but started actually hanging out about 4 months ago. We hangout about 1-2 times a week.
History:
We met through my job. She was a regular customer and we built a customer/employee relationship. I blushed up a couple times when she would come in because she's gorgeous. So I'm sure she knew I was into her from that. She ends up adding me on Facebook out of no where. Idk how she got my last name or whatever. But she has 2,000+ friends and we have some mutual friends that I was unaware of. She gives me her number through a message and we began texting/hanging out. At first it was always with her best friend. Than eventually became 1 on 1.
Dates:
We've been on "hangouts" that were pretty much DATES. We've done coffee plenty of times, we've done dinner at this pretty fancy restaurant we stumbled upon (I ended up paying because it was like a perfect date). We've also gone pumpkin picking this past halloween. (I surprised her cause I figured that would be a fun fall activity to do).
Mixed signals:
-She's usually the one that reaches out and asks to hangout first. I hardly ever ask her out cause she has a boyfriend.
-Our texts is where I get confused because you can misread anything to be a flirt. But I've definitely flirted and dropped big hints that I'm into her by hitting on her etc. and she would flirt back which makes me feel like were on the same page.
-Whenever she comes into my job she asks if I would like anything for her to bring in. She's dropped off lunch and coffee to me usually.
The Boyfriend
He's 24 years old. Lives 4 hours away from us permanently. They see each other once a month at best. They've known each other for 3 years when he lived in our area but moved away once they decided to label themselves a "couple". So they've been official for 6 months doing long distance.
She talks to me about him sometimes and tells me how good his job is and how much money he makes. How he's in a rock band and is beginning to get famous lalalalala he's the whole package to her. While me on the other hand, I currently have NONE of that to offer. I'm still trying to finish up college!
Story leading up to Question:
We went out for coffee last Thursday and I brushed up on the topic of me telling her how I feel because its recently begun to get overwhelming and I feel the need to tell her how I feel rather than torture myself.
I told her how I want to SAY things and DO things but I never end up doing so because I think too much and end up not doing anything at all. She then told me that I should stop doing that because I'll miss opportunities and chances that may not present themselves ever again. So I told her "I know what you mean but time and time again I always let that happen to me." then we both locked eyes and she smirked, had a bit of watery eyes and looked nervous that she knew she brought up what I've been meaning to tell her and she gave me the expression of "soooooo.....anddd...." which to me was an open invitation to take advantage of the OPPORTUNITY she's giving me right then! So I didn't capatlize and I just let it be. We both laughed and let it be and moved onto another topic real quick.
2 nights later we hangout again. She tells me about being drunk and being wasted. I told her that SHE of all people shouldn't be around ME when I'm drunk. And she was like "hahaha whyyyy is thatttt???" and I was like "haha just trust me, you dont wanna be around me when im drunk ;P" and we both smiled at each other and laughed. Then she said "yep. i'm definitely going to get you drunk hahaha" so I took that as a straight FLIRT and direct sign that she has some feelings for me. Maybe me being so hesitant on telling her my feelings is killing her.
When I drove her home that night, I WAS going to bring it up but again, I failed and didn't because she had a very long day and looked super tired. So I told her "hey whats ur week looking like. i wanna tell u something but i feel like right now isnt the best time". So I told her we'll talk about it then. I walked her inside and left. As soon as I got to my car. My thoughts came back to me and I 2nd thought the situation and instantly reacted on impulse and called her literally 1 minute after I left her doorstep. And said "hey i dont think i can wait until next week, do you think we can talk about it now? just for a little bit" and she used the LAMEST excuse in the book. She said she had homework to do. I was so confused and speechless that I didn't even know what else to say.
So I go home and now its literally eating me up alive. So I text her saying if she could possibly give me a call after she's done with her hw. And she said yes. 1 hour passes and she tells me she's really tired and is falling behind on her school work and that she felt bad having me wait to tell her what I needed to get off my chest and told me not to hate her.
Question:
If she's somewhat interested in me, and KNOWS the topic I'm going to bring up is about (I'm positive she knows what I need to talk to her about). Then why would she avoid it like a plague??
Its been 3 days since and she hasn't contacted me since.
Should I be mad at her? I feel like she doesn't even deserve to hear my feelings about her anymore since she obviously didn't think it was important enough for her to come outside and hear me out for a couple minutes that night. I know the way I approached it was very sloppy but hey. I didn't think she'd reject me asking her to come back outside for a couple minutes for me to tell her you know?
So now I'm debating on if it's even worth telling her anymore?
If I do then I'm making myself vulnerable. Knowing how she avoided hearing me out that night makes me feel very shaky on if its worth looking like a complete fool when her avoiding the topic was a clear enough answer.
So what's left? I just ignore her without telling her anything? She will be super confused cause I already told her about something I had to tell her that's EATING me up.
Or should I just give her the light of day and tell her. Then after that avoid her and ignore her.
I just don't know how bad of a sign that is that she avoided hearing me out that night. What she could have possibly thinking and is there any POSITIVE out of her actions?
Thanks for reading guys!
Scroll all the way down to the question if you don't feel like reading the history behind it. Please give as much input as possible. Thanks ahead of time!
Age: Me - 25
Girl - 20
We have known each other for roughly a year, but started actually hanging out about 4 months ago. We hangout about 1-2 times a week.
History:
We met through my job. She was a regular customer and we built a customer/employee relationship. I blushed up a couple times when she would come in because she's gorgeous. So I'm sure she knew I was into her from that. She ends up adding me on Facebook out of no where. Idk how she got my last name or whatever. But she has 2,000+ friends and we have some mutual friends that I was unaware of. She gives me her number through a message and we began texting/hanging out. At first it was always with her best friend. Than eventually became 1 on 1.
Dates:
We've been on "hangouts" that were pretty much DATES. We've done coffee plenty of times, we've done dinner at this pretty fancy restaurant we stumbled upon (I ended up paying because it was like a perfect date). We've also gone pumpkin picking this past halloween. (I surprised her cause I figured that would be a fun fall activity to do).
Mixed signals:
-She's usually the one that reaches out and asks to hangout first. I hardly ever ask her out cause she has a boyfriend.
-Our texts is where I get confused because you can misread anything to be a flirt. But I've definitely flirted and dropped big hints that I'm into her by hitting on her etc. and she would flirt back which makes me feel like were on the same page.
-Whenever she comes into my job she asks if I would like anything for her to bring in. She's dropped off lunch and coffee to me usually.
The Boyfriend
He's 24 years old. Lives 4 hours away from us permanently. They see each other once a month at best. They've known each other for 3 years when he lived in our area but moved away once they decided to label themselves a "couple". So they've been official for 6 months doing long distance.
She talks to me about him sometimes and tells me how good his job is and how much money he makes. How he's in a rock band and is beginning to get famous lalalalala he's the whole package to her. While me on the other hand, I currently have NONE of that to offer. I'm still trying to finish up college!
Story leading up to Question:
We went out for coffee last Thursday and I brushed up on the topic of me telling her how I feel because its recently begun to get overwhelming and I feel the need to tell her how I feel rather than torture myself.
I told her how I want to SAY things and DO things but I never end up doing so because I think too much and end up not doing anything at all. She then told me that I should stop doing that because I'll miss opportunities and chances that may not present themselves ever again. So I told her "I know what you mean but time and time again I always let that happen to me." then we both locked eyes and she smirked, had a bit of watery eyes and looked nervous that she knew she brought up what I've been meaning to tell her and she gave me the expression of "soooooo.....anddd...." which to me was an open invitation to take advantage of the OPPORTUNITY she's giving me right then! So I didn't capatlize and I just let it be. We both laughed and let it be and moved onto another topic real quick.
2 nights later we hangout again. She tells me about being drunk and being wasted. I told her that SHE of all people shouldn't be around ME when I'm drunk. And she was like "hahaha whyyyy is thatttt???" and I was like "haha just trust me, you dont wanna be around me when im drunk ;P" and we both smiled at each other and laughed. Then she said "yep. i'm definitely going to get you drunk hahaha" so I took that as a straight FLIRT and direct sign that she has some feelings for me. Maybe me being so hesitant on telling her my feelings is killing her.
When I drove her home that night, I WAS going to bring it up but again, I failed and didn't because she had a very long day and looked super tired. So I told her "hey whats ur week looking like. i wanna tell u something but i feel like right now isnt the best time". So I told her we'll talk about it then. I walked her inside and left. As soon as I got to my car. My thoughts came back to me and I 2nd thought the situation and instantly reacted on impulse and called her literally 1 minute after I left her doorstep. And said "hey i dont think i can wait until next week, do you think we can talk about it now? just for a little bit" and she used the LAMEST excuse in the book. She said she had homework to do. I was so confused and speechless that I didn't even know what else to say.
So I go home and now its literally eating me up alive. So I text her saying if she could possibly give me a call after she's done with her hw. And she said yes. 1 hour passes and she tells me she's really tired and is falling behind on her school work and that she felt bad having me wait to tell her what I needed to get off my chest and told me not to hate her.
Question:
If she's somewhat interested in me, and KNOWS the topic I'm going to bring up is about (I'm positive she knows what I need to talk to her about). Then why would she avoid it like a plague??
Its been 3 days since and she hasn't contacted me since.
Should I be mad at her? I feel like she doesn't even deserve to hear my feelings about her anymore since she obviously didn't think it was important enough for her to come outside and hear me out for a couple minutes that night. I know the way I approached it was very sloppy but hey. I didn't think she'd reject me asking her to come back outside for a couple minutes for me to tell her you know?
So now I'm debating on if it's even worth telling her anymore?
If I do then I'm making myself vulnerable. Knowing how she avoided hearing me out that night makes me feel very shaky on if its worth looking like a complete fool when her avoiding the topic was a clear enough answer.
So what's left? I just ignore her without telling her anything? She will be super confused cause I already told her about something I had to tell her that's EATING me up.
Or should I just give her the light of day and tell her. Then after that avoid her and ignore her.
I just don't know how bad of a sign that is that she avoided hearing me out that night. What she could have possibly thinking and is there any POSITIVE out of her actions?
Thanks for reading guys!