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View Full Version : Just found out husband cheated before we got married


jus4peace
Nov 9, 2012, 12:04 PM
Help! Before I loose my mind. Ok will start at beginning,boyfriend and I had house built and everything wonderful,than he got introduced to drugs by his "sorry"brother ! I begged boyfriend of 15 years to stop bringing "drugs"into our home,he didn't I had him arrested! We went to court he got his hand slapped ,we argued,I left town! Fast Forward,he asked me to come home,I did & found out he had replaced me within the tree weeks I was gone! I was crushed,however he stated he ended it and asked me to get married! We got married and "she "kept calling him? I wanted to no why so, I sent her a message,she replied she wanted to meet me & clear the air? Come to find out,( he) my now husband didn't replace me within the 3 weeks I was gone, he replaced me 5 months before!! Yes that's correct, he had an affair for 5 months with her even before we went to court! Now Im completely destroyed and asked him "why" he betrayed me like that in my face,the whole time I was cooking his food,doing his laundry,cleaning "our" home he was running down his brothers to meet up with "a drug hoe" really! He said he didn't do anything wrong because I "betrayed him 1st "by having him arrested! So now I can't stand to be in the same room with him ,let alone his brother lives across the road and they still associate, even worse his brother is NOW dating that same "drug hoe"! Help me please, I took my marriage vows seriously & I forgave him for "replacing "me so quickley after I left,but now I find out he was "cheating" the whole time, & probably asked me to marry him because he was afraid I would find out & leave for good! What are your opinions, am I being insecure and jealous being he did marry me and hasn't dealt with her,even though his own brother is,that's I feel is a slap in my face ( reminder) yet my husband said Im being insecure & to drop it,it's the past! I feel he "owed"me the truth that he found someone else and I would have stayed away--help!

Alty
Nov 9, 2012, 02:42 PM
You saw all the red flags, and you married him anyway. You accepted that he cheated, now you're just upset because he cheated a lot sooner than you thought.

Frankly I don't know how your marriage lasted this long.

As for the brother, he's free to date whomever he wants, you have no say in that.

This is really a no brainer, but you're the one that has to decide what you can and can't live with. I think the past shouldn't be as big an issue as the present.

Alty
Nov 9, 2012, 02:43 PM
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/criminal-law/what-happens-your-last-day-supervised-probabtion-710970.html

Looks like your husband isn't the only one that has issues with drugs and jail.