Sorry, this will be long. I met this girl about 6 months ago, actually when she spilled some beer on me at a bar, and by the end of the night, she was telling (like 3 times) to make sure I wasn't a dumb American and that I was going to call her. She is an aupair from South America. Stands me up on the first date, she calls and arranges the makeup date, great time, hang out and talk for a long time. I kind of slowed down my pursuit, I was in the middle of moving out of my parents house again, plus I was really concentrating on being a challenge to her. She would call 2-3 times a week, I would only answer/call her back once or so. So we end up going out 2-5 times before I move out. After I move out I emailed her to let her know where I moved and that we should get together soon. Within 3-4 days on a Wednesday she came up to visit. That same Friday she came up, we went out, had a great time, she paid me about 5 compliments on my appearance and she ends up staying over, I didn't do anything but make out with her as I really was seeing her as someone I would want a relationship with. Slept in the same bed, I just held her. We went out a few more times before Valentine's and for V-day I took her to a restaurant with her native food and we got there and nobody else was there, you can't plan that stuff, we had an awesome time, she couldn't keep herself off me. We've going out about 5-10 more times and there are just a million questions I have? She has told me she is afraid to fall in love? We were both cheated on in our past relationships. But keeps assuring me that if she was in a relationship, she would be completely faithful, I've also heard her call me her boyfriend to other mutual friends. We never talked about any of that. I was engaged before her, about 4 years ago, 5 year relationship. I just know from all the girlfriends I've had in my life, there is some sort of chemistry or something between us I've never experienced, way we look at each other, I don't know. I just want to do what is best for me, but also I know I'm weird (like everyone) and stubborn at times and I don't want to push her away. We were watching a Sinatra video one morning on YouTube and is was just a pic of him and his blue eyes (I have blue eyes) and she asked if her kids would have blue eyes, she gave me a cheers one night saying here is cheers to me and you and what might end up happening between us. I just wanted to see what other people think of those comments. We had a fight Thursday night and I've really begun second guessing her for some reason, I'm starting to think that maybe it's me overthinking. She seemed very flirty with a couple different guys when we were out with her group of friends and I didn't say much, but when I took her home, I told her it made me uncomfortable a little and she said that is just the way she is. Then she called me Sunday twice before I answered and asked me what I was doing (nothing), so I invited her over and she said she would call me back in a little bit when she was done doing her laundry. Never called, not the first time this happened and I posted yesterday about that and everyone thought she was playing me. Now lastly, she goes away to a friends house in another state every few weekends. We live 40 min apart now, and in June she is moving further away, like 1.5 hours or so. She is planning to move to virginia (3 hours or so from me) in August when her contract is up. I am trying to take it slow and let it develop but I feel like I'm under the gun with these other circumstances. I have read other posts and think the advice is great and would love some input from you guys. I've tried talking to my close friends, but their advice has been, well, lame. Should I cut my losses now before I would get more hurt, is she playing me? am I just the backup? Did I really screw up by acting jealous after only 3 or so months of dating? It wasn't outrageous jealousy, just to let her know I was a little confused about it? She kept saying she missed me the other night before we fought, we hadn't seen each other in a week, and she said it at least 3 times I recall. Am I just more into it than she is? I'm in no rush to see her everyday, but her actions do not seem (to me) to be in tune with her words? Sometimes I feel like she knows how to do just enough to keep me around.

Slow down and back off some then, if things are going to fast, I understand the attraction, and the questions, but for real you guys are still in the dating stage, and should be having fun not frustration. This is the time to get to know one another, not start a lifetime commitment. Have fun now, because the distance will cool the dates a lot, and heighten the jealousy and suspicions, so take this as a casual light dating experience , with no expectations. Why the hell are you worried about being second at this stage in the relationship? Because your moving to fast, and think she is yours. NOT realistic on your part after 3 months, no way. I don't care how many "I love yous", you heard.