Hi.

I was unemployed but recently got a job with a person who has all symptoms of Aspergers but seems unaware of it. She lacks social skills, is often rude, arrogant and overbearing. When she starts talking it´s impossible to get a word in and when I or anyone else disagrees with her, she gets very abusive and keeps bullying us for it.

A coworker told me she has always been like this and that nothing helps. She has a history of being violent as well if we don´t agree with her opinions.

I want to understand how it is best to deal with her, because she is beginning to get on my nerves. I don´t want that to happen as I want to keep my job and basically knowing how to deal with her so we can both feel at ease.

If this person is just a peer, I would avoid her as best you can and just let her crash and burn on her own. You really can't diagnose your coworkers or fix them. I would avoid getting in debates with her as well and to the extend you can, just be friendly to her but have minimal contact, and work around her - stay independent.

If she is a supervisor, I hate to tell you that you can't win and need to start looking for another job. I've had several abusive bosses who had symptoms of various problems such as narcissistic personalities, etc. When you do not have power and authority, you can't win. The solution is for her to be in a job where she does not have to interact in these ways with other people. You can't create that solution, so if you can't work for or with her, you need to move on.

My expert opinion is that she doesn't have Asperger's. Nothing you described says Asperger's.