Actually, let me rephrase that. I don't like him, I love him. I'm madly in love with him. He's absolutely gorgeous, has a personality that makes me smile, and is just all around such a great guy. Whenever I'm near him I get goosebumps, and I find myself staring at him when he's not looking. Whenever we're walking up the stairs at the same time, I'll try to be in the back so I can, well, stare at his ***. His laugh is adorable, his attitude is great, and did I mention that he's absolutely gorgeous? His face is ridiculously attractive and his body is fit - the best combination!

I even have dreams of this guy. I'll dream of him in my sleep, I have fantasies about him, and I just want him to hold me in his arms. He once sat next to me before, and my whole body was instantly covered in goosebumps. I couldn't even look at him for a while because I was just so excited! Oh god, I just have this giant crush on him. I'm madly in love with him, and it makes me almost cry when I think about how I'll never be able to hold him in my arms.

I'm not actually completely sure if he is straight, but he uses gay in its connotation form, has had girlfriends before (I think), and I just can't suspect him of being gay. However, now that I think about it, I'm not completely sure. However, I know that I would still never have a chance with him even if he was attracted to guys...

We're just acquaintances, and he is much more popular than me and hangs out in a much "cooler" clique than I do, but I still managed to get to know him enough to fall in love with him. He's my dream guy and I just can't help it. If I could have one wish, it would be to be with him forever. I really want to taste his sweet lips so badly, and hold his absolutely amazing body in my arms. Also, while this may sound a bit creepy, I masturbate to him. I don't know if this is wrong, but I just thought I would mention this dirty little secret.

Anyway, is there anything I can do to ease my lust and love for him? Is there any help anyone can offer? Anything?

I'm also in middle school, so people are extremely homophobic.

I want to write him an anonymous love letter and stick it in his locker while he's not there. Is this a good idea? I mean, I really need to tell him my feelings. Like, I have all of these emotions inside that need to be poured out, and I can't hold back any longer. Also, it depresses me every day whenever I think about how we'll never be together (sometimes I can feel tears).

ANONYMOUS letter.

You should get to know him better with the goal of being friends. Nothing more. If you find out he is gay then you could go for better goals after that. But if you come out to him and he's not, then your life will get much more difficult because as you know kids can be really mean sometimes. The note in the locker thing sounds exciting but it is also risky if anyone sees you do that. There will be many more guys in your life but the first crush is always exciting.

It will be obvious it came from you! Get to know more of him to gather further information!