Yoga4U
Oct 24, 2012, 10:53 AM
Wow, I really can't believe I finally found this website. In August-2009 my daughter, who at that time was 29, informed me that she "needed a break" from me and select memebers of our family. She said that in ONE YEAR she would reconsider.
I was totally blindsided.
This particular daughter, I bore out of wedlock. I worked her entire life. I married when she was just barely 4 years old to a wonderful man who's entire family welcomed her with open arms. She was immediately adopted by my husband, which was done privately in a Judge's Chambers, where my husband's father had arranged it to be performed. The Judge was terrific, the experience was very wonderful.
One year after our marriage, my husband's ex-wife was murdered, by her current husband. He had a daughter from this marriage that was just about to turn 13 years old (approximately 2 weeks after her mother's murder). So she moved in with us. She was a very bad influence and a very, very, manipulative drama queen. She tought my daughter things that I wish would have never been brought into our household, but it was. Yes, there was tension as our mixed family began to blend. This daughter was so disruptive and disturbed, that there was talk of divorce. But by this time we had added our son to the mix. I came from a divorced family, and swore I would never do that to my children. So the family did its very best to blend. Although, the oldest daughter did not make that easy. Then four years later we added an additional daughter. So I raised four children.
We moved out of our Home State in 1994. The daughter that hates me was then 14 years old, our son 8, and youngest daughter, 4. Our oldest's daughters (my husbands from his prior marriage) husband left her right after we moved out of State. We moved to a small town outside of Las Vegas, Nevada, where my children could grow up safely. Being able to ride their bikes to the Park, the store, school, church without worrying about them. A town of about 20,000.
So in our home we now have 3 children, 14, 8 and 4. My oldest, the daughter that hates me, gained lots of friends fast. She was popular at school. Then she got too big for her britches. She was hanging out with a bad crowd, the reason I had left the big City. So I sent her to one of the bootcamp's for troubled teens. After the bootcamp sent me all of the letters she had written me, and I read them, to find out there was bad living conditions, I immediately left to get her out. This was on Father's Day 1995.
The bootcamp did have too many teens and not enough beds, etc. for the number that they had admitted. But, it did her good. She was a beautiful person for almost 4 years, then once again, all hell broke lose.
She started going with a boy, now her 2nd husband. She was a great help then. She was happy. She helped by picking up the kids in the afternoon, or helping out when I needed it. I must add that my husband travels in his line of work. He has to go on-site to perform the work he does, so throughout our entire marriage he has been on the road, Worldwide. He was gone anywhere from 1 week to 3 months. Every 30 days they would fly him home or me to him, but it was still very hard having a full time job, a long commute, I taught Catecism on Sunday mornings. Very busy. She did help me out a lot back then.
We would take her and her boyfriend, who at the time we loved, on all of our family vacations, trips home, etc. Eventually he moved in with us because of troubles at his home. That was a huge mistake.
On her 17th birthday, she was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. She was in the hospital for about a week. Then IN and OUT of the hospital, for years and years. She refused to take care of herself. She absolutely BANKRUPTED our family. We had 2 new cars, we had to sell my husbands truck. Then we had to sell our house. Then we took out Bankruptcy!
During this period, we moved into Las Vegas so I would not have such a long commute. That is where she went totally haywire again. She started using drugs, handing with bad people, etc. Who knows why. She broke up with her boyfriend, who was devastated, and went on a wild terror for about 5 months. I would get calls from the hospital asking how she was because she had been in the ER the night before with blood sugar levels of 700! She moved, and I did not know where.
She just disappeared. I would call, no answer, no return call, no nothing. Her ex boyfriend would come over and talk, but we did not know what was going on with her. She just got a wild hair up her butt and away she went.
We moved to California to be closer to a corporate shop, so that my husband would travel less. After we had been there for approximatly 1 month she calls. Away I go to rescue her, again. She kept up the same behavior in California and Utah. We moved back to Utah in 2001. She met some jerk on the internet from South Carolina and married him. She had two children by him. One in which she almost died from pre-eclampsia (baby only weighed 1 lb 12 oz.)
That marriage was hell. She had affairs, and I do not know how many. She was on the DR PHIL SHOW and lied about her affairs on National TV, until they showed her footage they had proving different. Then she calls the police on my son one day when she came to visit, for domestic violence. This is in the middle of all her domestic abuse with her then husband. She was totally out of control. Then she runs and moves to South Carolina AFTER my husband and I gave her almost $35,000 to put down on a home. Some inheritance I got from the sell of my Mom's home. She sold the home she bought with the money and ran off to South Carolina, where her husband was from. 6 months later, off to South Carolina my Dad and I go to rescue her and her boys. All the money gone.
She moved back home. Then, and in no time at all, she had hooked back up with her first love in Las Vegas. The next thing I know, she is moving her and her two sons to Las Vegas to live with him.
Nope. Now, I do need to mention that after her desertion in Las Vegas, I went into a depression. I struggled to understand her and her actions then. Then I thought everything was OK, she was settling down. Right. I had been hospitalized for depression a couple of times. I even opted for ECT Treatments for my depression, it was so severe, and I could not get over it. But I always did try. After my last hospitalization, is when she informed me, I am sick of the drama (ha, without her, our family had NO DRAMA), so I am not speaking to you for ONE YEAR. And you can't talk to the boys either. I had been there every minute of those boys lives, and she was yanking them from me, because she could.
Really what happened is, I had given her and her new husband a small truck for her husband to drive to work. They had vehicles, they were just gas hogs. About 1 year after we had given it to them, I totalled my SUV and needed something to drive. So, I asked, since they were NO LONGER driving the little truck, if I could have it back. Ready, they said NO. They had paid to MAINTAIN IT so they felt they had to SELL it to get their money back. UNREAL. So when I mentioned to her that I had GIVEN her that truck and I thought she should give it back, THE END CAME.
I called my Grandson's at Christmas and she would not let me talk to them. I sent them gifts, she refused to give them to the boys.
Eventually, after a couple of family deaths, we spoke again. I apologized for anything that I had ever done. We have had limited communication for about 1 to 1 1/2 years now. I just got back from there. I have decided, it just IS NOT WORTH IT. I am through with her treatment and distancing herself.
I AM LETTING GO.
It is their loss. I began Bikram Yoga two years ago and it has saved my life. It improves your mind and spirit more than words can say. I am no longer depressed. Off any medication and happy. She isn't.
Will I regret this do you think?
I was totally blindsided.
This particular daughter, I bore out of wedlock. I worked her entire life. I married when she was just barely 4 years old to a wonderful man who's entire family welcomed her with open arms. She was immediately adopted by my husband, which was done privately in a Judge's Chambers, where my husband's father had arranged it to be performed. The Judge was terrific, the experience was very wonderful.
One year after our marriage, my husband's ex-wife was murdered, by her current husband. He had a daughter from this marriage that was just about to turn 13 years old (approximately 2 weeks after her mother's murder). So she moved in with us. She was a very bad influence and a very, very, manipulative drama queen. She tought my daughter things that I wish would have never been brought into our household, but it was. Yes, there was tension as our mixed family began to blend. This daughter was so disruptive and disturbed, that there was talk of divorce. But by this time we had added our son to the mix. I came from a divorced family, and swore I would never do that to my children. So the family did its very best to blend. Although, the oldest daughter did not make that easy. Then four years later we added an additional daughter. So I raised four children.
We moved out of our Home State in 1994. The daughter that hates me was then 14 years old, our son 8, and youngest daughter, 4. Our oldest's daughters (my husbands from his prior marriage) husband left her right after we moved out of State. We moved to a small town outside of Las Vegas, Nevada, where my children could grow up safely. Being able to ride their bikes to the Park, the store, school, church without worrying about them. A town of about 20,000.
So in our home we now have 3 children, 14, 8 and 4. My oldest, the daughter that hates me, gained lots of friends fast. She was popular at school. Then she got too big for her britches. She was hanging out with a bad crowd, the reason I had left the big City. So I sent her to one of the bootcamp's for troubled teens. After the bootcamp sent me all of the letters she had written me, and I read them, to find out there was bad living conditions, I immediately left to get her out. This was on Father's Day 1995.
The bootcamp did have too many teens and not enough beds, etc. for the number that they had admitted. But, it did her good. She was a beautiful person for almost 4 years, then once again, all hell broke lose.
She started going with a boy, now her 2nd husband. She was a great help then. She was happy. She helped by picking up the kids in the afternoon, or helping out when I needed it. I must add that my husband travels in his line of work. He has to go on-site to perform the work he does, so throughout our entire marriage he has been on the road, Worldwide. He was gone anywhere from 1 week to 3 months. Every 30 days they would fly him home or me to him, but it was still very hard having a full time job, a long commute, I taught Catecism on Sunday mornings. Very busy. She did help me out a lot back then.
We would take her and her boyfriend, who at the time we loved, on all of our family vacations, trips home, etc. Eventually he moved in with us because of troubles at his home. That was a huge mistake.
On her 17th birthday, she was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. She was in the hospital for about a week. Then IN and OUT of the hospital, for years and years. She refused to take care of herself. She absolutely BANKRUPTED our family. We had 2 new cars, we had to sell my husbands truck. Then we had to sell our house. Then we took out Bankruptcy!
During this period, we moved into Las Vegas so I would not have such a long commute. That is where she went totally haywire again. She started using drugs, handing with bad people, etc. Who knows why. She broke up with her boyfriend, who was devastated, and went on a wild terror for about 5 months. I would get calls from the hospital asking how she was because she had been in the ER the night before with blood sugar levels of 700! She moved, and I did not know where.
She just disappeared. I would call, no answer, no return call, no nothing. Her ex boyfriend would come over and talk, but we did not know what was going on with her. She just got a wild hair up her butt and away she went.
We moved to California to be closer to a corporate shop, so that my husband would travel less. After we had been there for approximatly 1 month she calls. Away I go to rescue her, again. She kept up the same behavior in California and Utah. We moved back to Utah in 2001. She met some jerk on the internet from South Carolina and married him. She had two children by him. One in which she almost died from pre-eclampsia (baby only weighed 1 lb 12 oz.)
That marriage was hell. She had affairs, and I do not know how many. She was on the DR PHIL SHOW and lied about her affairs on National TV, until they showed her footage they had proving different. Then she calls the police on my son one day when she came to visit, for domestic violence. This is in the middle of all her domestic abuse with her then husband. She was totally out of control. Then she runs and moves to South Carolina AFTER my husband and I gave her almost $35,000 to put down on a home. Some inheritance I got from the sell of my Mom's home. She sold the home she bought with the money and ran off to South Carolina, where her husband was from. 6 months later, off to South Carolina my Dad and I go to rescue her and her boys. All the money gone.
She moved back home. Then, and in no time at all, she had hooked back up with her first love in Las Vegas. The next thing I know, she is moving her and her two sons to Las Vegas to live with him.
Nope. Now, I do need to mention that after her desertion in Las Vegas, I went into a depression. I struggled to understand her and her actions then. Then I thought everything was OK, she was settling down. Right. I had been hospitalized for depression a couple of times. I even opted for ECT Treatments for my depression, it was so severe, and I could not get over it. But I always did try. After my last hospitalization, is when she informed me, I am sick of the drama (ha, without her, our family had NO DRAMA), so I am not speaking to you for ONE YEAR. And you can't talk to the boys either. I had been there every minute of those boys lives, and she was yanking them from me, because she could.
Really what happened is, I had given her and her new husband a small truck for her husband to drive to work. They had vehicles, they were just gas hogs. About 1 year after we had given it to them, I totalled my SUV and needed something to drive. So, I asked, since they were NO LONGER driving the little truck, if I could have it back. Ready, they said NO. They had paid to MAINTAIN IT so they felt they had to SELL it to get their money back. UNREAL. So when I mentioned to her that I had GIVEN her that truck and I thought she should give it back, THE END CAME.
I called my Grandson's at Christmas and she would not let me talk to them. I sent them gifts, she refused to give them to the boys.
Eventually, after a couple of family deaths, we spoke again. I apologized for anything that I had ever done. We have had limited communication for about 1 to 1 1/2 years now. I just got back from there. I have decided, it just IS NOT WORTH IT. I am through with her treatment and distancing herself.
I AM LETTING GO.
It is their loss. I began Bikram Yoga two years ago and it has saved my life. It improves your mind and spirit more than words can say. I am no longer depressed. Off any medication and happy. She isn't.
Will I regret this do you think?