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View Full Version : Just broke up with girlfriend of 3 years


Di2005
Oct 23, 2012, 10:06 PM
Well Ill try and keep this short and simple. As this just happened about 15 minutes ago and I'm still extremely shocked.

Me and my girlfriend have been together for about 3 years now.
I'm 19 and she is 18.
We met on myspace through mutual friends and over a year became friends until one day deciding to get together. I would sneak into her window at night just to talk to her for 10 minutes and go right back home, I loved this girl from the start. Even before I knew her I thought she was the most gorgeous thing I had seen and wanted her so badly.

Well we have made some crazy
Changes through each other. She use to cut her wrists when she was 15 and I got her through that, we joined a church, traveled all over together and our families became pretty much like our own.

Well she has always been pretty jealous and that's what causes a lot of
Our fights. She gets mad about any type of communication with another female and a lot of times even looking at someone on TV.
Well after 2 1/2 amazing years we
Decided to move in an apt together.
We agreed if I paid the bills she would furnish the apartment and I'd pay deposits and our pets (2 cats and a dog)
Well we have been living together for a few months and while it's usually good, it's does get bad... real bad
And I hate to admit it but to the point of physically abusing one another and breaking eachothers possessions.

(forgot to mention)
We are engaged, I proposed to her 1 1/2 years ago and bought her a ring and the whole ordeal.

Anyway, tonight we got in a huge argument about NOTHING
Because I was frustrated about our new puppy screaming and hollering all night and was grumpy from no sleep.
She hounded me all day with questions and eventually I got sick of it and hit her... I know I'm a piece of
We fought big time, screaming and punching each other till eventually she called her parents and they headed over in which I left and am now sitting in a 7-11 apartment killing myself in guilt..

I would never in my wildest dreams imagine I'd lay my hand on her one day and it has come to multiple occasions of physical abuse on both of our parts..

I don't know what to do... I can't afford my bills without her part time income, won't have ANY furniture as I stated she furnished the apt earlier. And completely lost my best friend and the woman I had planned to spend my life with no doubt.

I'm just stuck with what to do...
My family and her are completely tied together and it's going to break their hearts as well...

Is it for the best or should I try to pick up shattered pieces of what once was our dream

Di2005
Oct 23, 2012, 10:22 PM
Btw she is already asking if I want her to stay or go
I love her and want her to stay.. but I don't know if it's what's for the best

joypulv
Oct 24, 2012, 02:53 AM
You are both young. You both have problems, maybe a bit more than the usual. She has a history of cutting and that often goes with a lot of baggage, and you can't control your physical strength. Hitting her is extremely serious and can get you arrested, which it should. So that's number one right now.
Couple counseling would be best, but you have the question of what to do today. I wonder if either of you is near parents? Can you take turns at the apartment, while the other lives with them?
There's the animals to care for. We can help you with the crying puppy under Dogs. It's good you have a crying puppy rather than a crying baby, to see how stress can cause huge fights, and learn ways to deal with it.
If your parents might have words of wisdom, go see them together. If they get too emotional, wait until you can see a therapist.
Or talk here...

proud young mom
Feb 13, 2013, 12:17 PM
I definitely agree with the persons answer above me. Take things slow I'm a jealous person to and its hard. That I feel is caused by a girl's insecurities. It's a hard thing to get over. You have to have good communication in a relationship. Work on that. You are young as well as I am. And if you have made it this long together there's a reason. Try to be strong and talk to her. You both have to be in this together it can't be one sided

fredg
Feb 13, 2013, 03:47 PM
My first marriage lasted 7 yrs, ended in divorce. I was 24 and she 19 when we met. I remarried later, and it lasted 30 yrs... Who can tell!
I think you both should talk with a counselor, if both are willing. If you want to save this relationship, you really, really have to work at it, but with help.
If not, then it's best you leave. I would give it a little more time, like a couple of months to see if it gets any better. If not, one of you go your own way. I lost ALL my furniture in the divorce, and had to start all over again. It's not easy. But, life isn't easy either. Good luck.