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CrystleStar
Oct 10, 2012, 08:50 PM
Help me. I'm wanting to die so bad, but people are saying they'll miss me. They're literally Guilting me into not committing suicide. I've tried 13 times and wish I'd just have the guts to do it and get it over with. I've cut "Worthless" and "Sick" into my arms, but the wounds are healing and I'm needing another tool. I can't do much pain or my friends will be disappointed in me, but I don't want to to keep going on. Please no "Don't hurt yourself" because it'll just be ignored. Thanks

J_9
Oct 10, 2012, 08:52 PM
Are you wanting us to give you advice on how to kill yourself?

CrystleStar
Oct 10, 2012, 08:53 PM
No, just how to *cut* myself.

J_9
Oct 10, 2012, 08:54 PM
We won't assist with self mutilation.

CrystleStar
Oct 10, 2012, 08:56 PM
^ What's that mean?

J_9
Oct 10, 2012, 08:57 PM
It means we won't give you advice on how to continue cutting yourself.

Wondergirl
Oct 10, 2012, 09:02 PM
I challenge you to put on your big-girl panties and deal with the world around you. What are you running away from?

CrystleStar
Oct 10, 2012, 09:02 PM
Alrighty then... Umm, any search terms for a one-on-one crisis things? I've tried Crisischat.org and imalive.org but they're either offline or busy. I can't find anymore. =(

Wondergirl
Oct 10, 2012, 09:03 PM
National Suicide Hotlines USA
United States of America

Toll-Free / 24 hours a day / 7 days a week

1-800-SUICIDE
1-800-784-2433

1-800-273-TALK
1-800-273-8255

CrystleStar
Oct 10, 2012, 09:05 PM
Wondergirl, someone I can't run away from. Someone's who's stuck in my life forever and won't go away. It's been 16 years. People say life will get better and it doesn't. I have put on my big-girl-panties and have shrugged off everything for years, but I'm sick of it. I was a mistake and I can't change that.

Fr_Chuck
Oct 10, 2012, 09:05 PM
You want help or you would not be posting here, You have already cut, so that you know how to do, and of course cuts heal, they may leave scars but they heal.

How old are you? It sounds like you have people who care. In your attempts to kill yourself, what have you done ?

Tell us about why things are so bad

CrystleStar
Oct 10, 2012, 09:07 PM
Thanks Wondergirl, and J_9, who is it?

J_9
Oct 10, 2012, 09:08 PM
Wondergirl is our resident counselor. She's great. Just follow her lead.

Wondergirl
Oct 10, 2012, 09:08 PM
Wondergirl, someone I can't run away from. Someone's who's stuck in my life forever and won't go away. It's been 16 years. People say life will get better and it doesn't. I have put on my big-girl-panties and have shrugged off everything for years, but I'm sick of it. I was a mistake and I can't change that.
Tell me who it is. I've had my own albatross for 46 years.

CrystleStar
Oct 10, 2012, 09:10 PM
Fr_chuck, that may be so, but it seems that no one wants to help other than this site (I've posted on others but no response). I'm 20, and I've tried firearms and knives.

Rape, financial problems, family problems, relationship problems, a never ending loop I can't get out of, my family's abusive, I can't move away (Money) and I'm on the line for work.

CrystleStar
Oct 10, 2012, 09:12 PM
Wondergirl, people in my family and a rapist I *really* can't get away from.

Wondergirl
Oct 10, 2012, 09:12 PM
What is the general area you live in?

Wondergirl
Oct 10, 2012, 09:12 PM
Wondergirl, people in my family and a rapist I *really* can't get away from.
Why not?

CrystleStar
Oct 10, 2012, 09:14 PM
Midwest and the rapist err... I can't say. =/

Wondergirl
Oct 10, 2012, 09:15 PM
Midwest and the rapist err...I can't say. =/
I'm in the Midwest and know it well. What about a woman's shelter?

CrystleStar
Oct 10, 2012, 09:16 PM
What's that?

Wondergirl
Oct 10, 2012, 09:20 PM
It's a safe place where you can live for free for as much time as it takes you to find a job (with their help) and a place of your own to live in.

CrystleStar
Oct 10, 2012, 09:23 PM
Ahhh... No. I don't need *help*, what I *need* is a knife.

Wondergirl
Oct 10, 2012, 09:25 PM
Ahhh....No. I don't need *help*, what I *need* is a knife.
You need to get out of that environment. You are punishing yourself, but you are already the victim.

J_9
Oct 10, 2012, 09:28 PM
Ahhh....No. I don't need *help*, what I *need* is a knife.

Oh, come on now. You are 20 years old. You don't NEED a knife, you WANT a knife. Needs and wants are two different things.

Wondergirl
Oct 10, 2012, 09:28 PM
Do you have a car?

CrystleStar
Oct 10, 2012, 09:31 PM
KK... I *want* a knife. (I have a pocket sized)

I think I need to go to bed and rest. If I'm here tomorrow... Horaay. If not, well... Yeah. 'Night. Thanks for the help.

Wondergirl
Oct 10, 2012, 09:34 PM
Gee, I was all set to call you if need be. (***ADDED*** I'm teasing you because I am so frustrated in not being able to do anything. Site rules say no offline contact.)

Are you going to be okay?

J_9
Oct 10, 2012, 09:36 PM
And I thought we might be getting somewhere. I hope you rest well and that you are feeling better in the morning.

Wondergirl
Oct 10, 2012, 09:38 PM
Keep that suicide number handy. They are good to talk to no matter what.