Kaylina
Oct 5, 2012, 02:26 PM
Good morning everyone,
I am 25 years old. It is at 19 years old that I started to remember. It is at 22 or 23 that I talk about it to my sister. And it is today that I am asking you for your comment.
When I was 11 years old I became sick and had strong fever with temperature around 39°C. I remember couldn't be able of standing or even falling asleep.
I remember my father was worry about my temperature so decided that I needed a shower. But he first looked at my older brother (17) and sister (14) and ask me if I would prefer that my sister give me the shower. I responded yes by checking the head up and down. I was so sick and weak that I couldn't speak. Then my father being scared of my state decided he decided to do it.
In the bathroom he ask me to undress but I didn't remove my underwear. He insisted that I remove everything to not make them wet because I will have to put them on again before going to the hospital. I went into the shower and he was holding the shower in one hand and was holding me with the other. Then he took this hand I guessed to apply the water all over my body. He started with my arm then the legs but I really didn't like it especially when he started usig his hand on my belly towards between my breast. And then he was doing it again and sometimes holding me so that I didn't fall. I wasn't really standing up. Then at one point he looked at me in the eyes and used his hand to touch between my legs. I was disgusted but could speak but I wanted to scream help and tell him to stop ! I wanted to scream the name of my bro and sister for them to help me. They were just two rooms away from the bathroom. But I couldn't speak I was too sick. I could just show to my father that I don't like it by grimacing in disgust. Unfortunatey it didn't sropped him he did it once again. I continue to grimace and felt helpless. Then he stopped and pull me out of the shower and ask me to dress up and this without looking at me in the eyes but a little more down. Then he left the room. I try to dress up even if I couldn't stand up and felt really dizzy. I thought what just happen wasn't right and started to cry and then thought maybe he didn't realize what he did but still I was thinking why do I cry so?
Then I went to the hospital the same night they gave me a pill. The day after I was better but when my father was talking to me he would not look at me in the eyes but lower. I would try to hide beside my sisterto try to avoid his way to look at me.
I would like to know what you think about it? At that age even my mother didn't saw me naked for years. I was shocked that my dad saw me naked and touched me.
I talk about this story to my sister when I was around 22years old and I even dicided to talk about it directly with my father the same year. Which was a huge step for me. I decided to talk on the phone and not to face him at the same time. I reminded him of this time I was sick he would respond that he remind of this like if it was yesterday. Then I took advantage of this response to ask him so why did he do what he did. Then he would suddenly be pissed on the phone and tell me that I was suppose to be unconscious and that if he was in front of me at the moment I was asking him he would give me a slap. Then he continue to be pissed and talk while me I was criying. After few minute and some silent moment he would start to have a calm voice and start to feel sorry for me.
My only problem nowadays is that I am afraid it has affect my everyday life and ffed a kind of depression especially when I am not surrounded be some friends I just end up crying thinking about as being somehow durty of this touch.
Wat do you think of all this?
I am not an english native speaker so please if your understanding of the story is disturbed by my bad english let me know. I will try to explain again in a better english.
Thank you for reading me and feel free to leave a comment.
I am 25 years old. It is at 19 years old that I started to remember. It is at 22 or 23 that I talk about it to my sister. And it is today that I am asking you for your comment.
When I was 11 years old I became sick and had strong fever with temperature around 39°C. I remember couldn't be able of standing or even falling asleep.
I remember my father was worry about my temperature so decided that I needed a shower. But he first looked at my older brother (17) and sister (14) and ask me if I would prefer that my sister give me the shower. I responded yes by checking the head up and down. I was so sick and weak that I couldn't speak. Then my father being scared of my state decided he decided to do it.
In the bathroom he ask me to undress but I didn't remove my underwear. He insisted that I remove everything to not make them wet because I will have to put them on again before going to the hospital. I went into the shower and he was holding the shower in one hand and was holding me with the other. Then he took this hand I guessed to apply the water all over my body. He started with my arm then the legs but I really didn't like it especially when he started usig his hand on my belly towards between my breast. And then he was doing it again and sometimes holding me so that I didn't fall. I wasn't really standing up. Then at one point he looked at me in the eyes and used his hand to touch between my legs. I was disgusted but could speak but I wanted to scream help and tell him to stop ! I wanted to scream the name of my bro and sister for them to help me. They were just two rooms away from the bathroom. But I couldn't speak I was too sick. I could just show to my father that I don't like it by grimacing in disgust. Unfortunatey it didn't sropped him he did it once again. I continue to grimace and felt helpless. Then he stopped and pull me out of the shower and ask me to dress up and this without looking at me in the eyes but a little more down. Then he left the room. I try to dress up even if I couldn't stand up and felt really dizzy. I thought what just happen wasn't right and started to cry and then thought maybe he didn't realize what he did but still I was thinking why do I cry so?
Then I went to the hospital the same night they gave me a pill. The day after I was better but when my father was talking to me he would not look at me in the eyes but lower. I would try to hide beside my sisterto try to avoid his way to look at me.
I would like to know what you think about it? At that age even my mother didn't saw me naked for years. I was shocked that my dad saw me naked and touched me.
I talk about this story to my sister when I was around 22years old and I even dicided to talk about it directly with my father the same year. Which was a huge step for me. I decided to talk on the phone and not to face him at the same time. I reminded him of this time I was sick he would respond that he remind of this like if it was yesterday. Then I took advantage of this response to ask him so why did he do what he did. Then he would suddenly be pissed on the phone and tell me that I was suppose to be unconscious and that if he was in front of me at the moment I was asking him he would give me a slap. Then he continue to be pissed and talk while me I was criying. After few minute and some silent moment he would start to have a calm voice and start to feel sorry for me.
My only problem nowadays is that I am afraid it has affect my everyday life and ffed a kind of depression especially when I am not surrounded be some friends I just end up crying thinking about as being somehow durty of this touch.
Wat do you think of all this?
I am not an english native speaker so please if your understanding of the story is disturbed by my bad english let me know. I will try to explain again in a better english.
Thank you for reading me and feel free to leave a comment.