My boyfriend masturbates daily but only has sex with me about once a month. I feel like he prefers masturbation over me. It is making me feel unattractive and just bad about myself. Help

What are the ages, do you live together.

Is sex more often practical,

If for example he is 16, most likely it is so he does not become a father. And it is common for most 16 year olds to masturbate regularly.

If you are living together and are 25, the answer will be different.

Was sex more regular at some point in past

'Help' is one word - communication. If you two can't talk about the most personal things like this, then the relationship is doomed. Choose a time when you aren't angry or hurt and when you aren't in bed, and say 'Can we talk about what you are missing from me, and getting from masturbating? I feel unwanted and unattractive.'

'Help' is one word - communication. If you two can't talk about the most personal


I have tried talking to him in a calm rational way, he tells me he isattracted to me and that he loves me. Promises to change and sometimes we even have sex but then it's back to the same old thing. We have sex about once evey six or eight weeks.

We are both in our 30's and we have lived together for about a year and been together for 2. Our sex life has been a problem for almost the entire time he has lived with me. I always have to initiate sex and am just getting tired of the rejection. And I am tired of laying there pretending I am asleep while he jerks off. I am so tired of arguing and feeling bad and listening to him swear he loves me and it will change. Maybe I just need to go


If you are living together and are 25, the answer will be different.

Was sex more regular at some point in past

You do have to decide whether you can stay with him or not.
Some people just can't merge fantasy with real life. He may not realize how many people think of someone (or something) else while having intercourse, and may think it's wrong, and he feels guilty.
He could probably get help for this if he wanted to.

Maybe HE doesn't want to have a baby... and you are giving vibes you do. And he is smart enough to know having sex sometimes does result in a baby no matter how many precautions you take.

Fact is, masturbation for a guy is sometimes a lot more gratifying than sex. A guy can clench his hand as tightly as he wants. He can set the pace. A guy that masturbates often sometimes has a hard time with actual sex, because no woman can compare to the tightness and attention that his hands can.

What does he say about this? You said you've argued with him about this. Have you ever tried talking to him about it? Telling him how you feel without an argument, or without putting the blame on him?

If you sit there knowing what he's doing, and it's a problem for you, yet you say nothing, then you're part of the problem. He can't read your mind anymore than you can read his.

We are both in our 30's and we have lived together for about a year and been together for 2. Our sex life has been a problem for almost the entire time he has lived with me. I always have to initiate sex and am just getting tired of the rejection. And I am tired of laying there pretending I am asleep while he jerks off. I am so tired of arguing and feeling bad and listening to him swear he loves me and it will change. Maybe I just need to go


Have you ever let him know that you know he's masturbating in bed? Have you ever tried saying something like.. "Sooo..what are you doing??" ;-) Or "would you like some help with that?" If you've already tried that, how did he respond?

Alty~ What you're saying makes sense. I never thought of it like that. But wouldn't a blow job feel even better? I would think sucking really hard is more intense then having a tight grip with your hands..

Why are you pretending to be asleep, stop him, tell him you are there, and want sex. If he doesnot, he needs to know where the couch is to sleep for the night.

It sounds like you are pretending to ignore him, and he is just getting to do what he wants.

There is no communication and working on issues

Why are you pretending to be asleep, stop him, tell him you are there, and want sex. If he doesnot, he needs to know where the couch is to sleep for the night.

It sounds like you are pretending to ignore him, and he is just getting to do what he wants.

There is no communication and working on issues

I forgot to ask, is he a shy guy? Maybe he feels too shy to explain how he likes things? I would try to find out if he prefers hand jobs, and then get him to teach you how he likes it. And of course he should give you what you want too! :-)

I hope it's not a porn addiction. That's something only he can change.

Why are you pretending to be asleep, stop him, tell him you are there, and want sex. If he doesnot, he needs to know where the couch is to sleep for the night.

It sounds like you are pretending to ignore him, and he is just getting to do what he wants.

There is no communication and working on issues


I am in total agreement here. Why pretend to be asleep? You live with this person. "Wake up" and ask him what's going on.

Talk to each other.

Get rid of him now ,there is something that is wrong with him,, he might be into guys who knows

get rid of him now ,there is something that is wrong with him,,,,,he might be into guys who knows

Are you serious? How does a guy doing this with a FEMALE... as wrong as it might be, translate to being gay or even bi?

How does liking to see taco's translate to a craving for salami?

I think its far more likely he's not happy about something... but not so unhappy he feels a need to bring it up.

get rid of him now ,there is something that is wrong with him,,,,,he might be into guys who knows

I'd love to hear how you came up with this convoluted opinion.