FatimaMasud
Sep 22, 2012, 11:54 AM
I have been emotionally unstable for a long time. As long as I can remember I have wanted to commit suicide.
I started cutting when I was 11 or 12. Then I met a guy (A), who was way older than me. He lied to me about his age. Had phone sex with me. And later befriended my dad and told him about us. I was literally in house arrest for a year. My parents weren't ready to forgive me and the taunts got too much to handle. I just kept on cutting due to the family pressure.
Then I broke up with him. When I realized how much he had lied to me and much I went through just to keep him. I almost got kicked out of school. My parent's wouldn't let me out of my room. It was bad.
Then I met another guy. (S) I loved him. I was crazy after him. He just used me for money. That's it. He left after 2 years without an explanation and actually told ALL of his friends they could date me. Those 2 years with him. He wouldn't talk to me. He fought with me. Accused me of cheating on him and what not. The cutting increased.
Now I am with a guy, for once in my life I feel safe. I don't feel the urge to cut anymore or overdose on pills ( Which was a normal routine, I had to be rushed to emergency once). But my only weakness is I want to be with him 24/7. My mom knows about him, but she doesn't stop me from talking to him or anything.
My mom is rude to me, she accuses me of stuff, calls me names.
I recently gained a lot of weight because I wasn't getting my period. Being told I was fat was a low blow, like seriously it brought me to tears. And she called me fat everyday like it was nothing. I told her to stop it,she didn't.
I try to be the best daughter, I can be.
But she doesn't let me be. I have been wanting to go out since a month. She just keeps on cancelling my plans. I feel like .
I am 17 now. I am in my A-levels which is college for most people.
I just want a break. I would have run away. But my society doesn't treat runaways very well. I would probably get raped on a bench by a 70 year old man.
I started cutting when I was 11 or 12. Then I met a guy (A), who was way older than me. He lied to me about his age. Had phone sex with me. And later befriended my dad and told him about us. I was literally in house arrest for a year. My parents weren't ready to forgive me and the taunts got too much to handle. I just kept on cutting due to the family pressure.
Then I broke up with him. When I realized how much he had lied to me and much I went through just to keep him. I almost got kicked out of school. My parent's wouldn't let me out of my room. It was bad.
Then I met another guy. (S) I loved him. I was crazy after him. He just used me for money. That's it. He left after 2 years without an explanation and actually told ALL of his friends they could date me. Those 2 years with him. He wouldn't talk to me. He fought with me. Accused me of cheating on him and what not. The cutting increased.
Now I am with a guy, for once in my life I feel safe. I don't feel the urge to cut anymore or overdose on pills ( Which was a normal routine, I had to be rushed to emergency once). But my only weakness is I want to be with him 24/7. My mom knows about him, but she doesn't stop me from talking to him or anything.
My mom is rude to me, she accuses me of stuff, calls me names.
I recently gained a lot of weight because I wasn't getting my period. Being told I was fat was a low blow, like seriously it brought me to tears. And she called me fat everyday like it was nothing. I told her to stop it,she didn't.
I try to be the best daughter, I can be.
But she doesn't let me be. I have been wanting to go out since a month. She just keeps on cancelling my plans. I feel like .
I am 17 now. I am in my A-levels which is college for most people.
I just want a break. I would have run away. But my society doesn't treat runaways very well. I would probably get raped on a bench by a 70 year old man.