So I've been dating my current boyfriend for a little over two years. When we first started dating we were sooo in love! Everything he did was perfect... we were always together and I was so happy!! Not to mention our sex life was amazing!! We moved in together almost a year ago.. and I remember I was sooo excited, but ever since we moved in I feel like everything has changed. We argue constantly. About anything and everything. We can't even go on a date anymore with out arguing by the end of the evening and coming home mad at each other. Money is one of the main sources of our arguments. We used to split everything 50/50 but recently I separated from the military and I am currently jobless, but he still expects me to pay my portion of the rent, food, and everything. Although I have money in savings, I feel like maybe he should step up a little when it comes to the bills.. am I wrong for thinking this?

We also argue all the time about cleaning. I feel like I am always the one cleaning the room, the bathroom, the kitchen, the laundry. Almost like if I don't do it, it won't get done. Besides work, it seams like all he does is sit on his and play video games or watch TV. He pitches in every once in a while, but I feel like I'm mainly doing all the work. I know this type of thing is normal for a couple.. but all this arguing is drawing me further and further away from him.

And on top of all this... our sex life is pretty much non existent. To be 100% honest, I just don't feel like "doing it" anymore. I don't know what's wrong with me.. but I just basically lost interest. I started to lose interest about 10 or so months ago. The thing is, I'm still physically attracted to him.. so I don't know what's going on here. And we've tried to spice things up with our sex life.. but I still just don't feel like doing it. Ever. I only do it for him. Its not even for me anymore.

We had a serious talk a few months ago, and I told him I don't know if I'm still in love with him. I mean I do love him and care about him a lot, but I don't know if I'm in love. I don't know if I ever even was.. it might have been infatuation the whole time. After the talk.. I wanted to go on a break but he didn't want that.. said he would change or do anything for me if we "started over". I said I would give that a try... this was about 4-5 months ago... and nothing has changed.

I don't know if I am just holding onto him for security? Or if its because I don't want to have to deal with a break up.. I love his family.. my family loves him, my mom keeps pressuring us to get married.sometimes wonder if I am just staying in this relationship because its easier... although I'm unhappy. And other times I think about what life would be like without him... and it makes me really sad. I mean we have great times together don't get me wrong.. and when its good, its really good. But when its bad (which is the majority of the time) I just end up being depressed and unhappy. But I don't know if I wll find anyone else who loves me like he does... or someone else my family will except. He is a good guy... he really is, I just I don't know don't know anymore if he is the one. What I should do? Please help!

Girl the real problem started because u move in with him too soon... you can't be so sure whether u love him or not... I think a little temporary break is what u need to figure things out for yourself n even for him as well... maybe during this time you wll realise what u really want and what r the things u need to do next... and about the bills and everything.. in my opinion he needs to take up a little more responsibility to himself too... talk to him about it n try to make him understand... and when u've cleared your mind then u can decide if u want to be with him still or nt... don't be hasty about it... good luck..

You know when couples get married there is a period of adjustment. There is a big difference between dating someone and actually living with them.
You two can go to couples counseling and see if that helps. You two are adjusting to each other. You discuss you does what and share with chores. These are things you talk about before hand. Or you can move out and break up. Go NC (no contact) No point in staying with someone if you're not even married to it you are unhappy.

Thanks for the advise... I'm thinking about moving out living separately, continuing our relationship living separate... see if things change about how I feel towards him

How old are you both?

how old are you both?

He's 23 and I'm turning 23 in 11 days

I know you use to split everything 50/50 but now that you can't afford to do that anymore, then I would expect him to at least offer to do most things even if you aren't going to agree to it. It'll just show that at least he does care enough to ask if you needed help. About cleaning the house etc... I think it all depends on what your agreement was to begin with. You should have laid down some ground rules before you actually both moved in together. I was brought up to think women do everything in the house but I guess it would be a little different if you've had a different upbringing.

Also it is very different being in a relationship and moving in with each other because everything becomes routine and the excitement of getting to see each other isn't there anymore as you live together now and practically see each other everyday.

What you can do is maybe move out and try again that way. Now you're a proper couple and it's actually harder than people think living together but all in all you two need to sit down and evaluate where you're at and decided if there is a point in moving on because the longer you stay in the relationship, the harder it is to get out and the more you actually convince yourself that it's 'too late' to get out now and that you might as well stick with it even when you're not happy...