My daughter just turned 8 and wants her dad and not me.
I sent her to visit him overseas as I was not happy about but she was excited to go for 6 weeks and so was he. I thought it was too long for her to be away but thought it would make her happy to spend time with him. She now says she doesn't want me hates me and he will not return her unless she wants to come back. He wants to send her too school their and I am now intouch with ministry of justice to get her back. Why she hates me not sure.. We have been through a lot since me and her dad broke up 4 years ago moving every year. But also I feel her dad has said stuff. Which my daughter said her dad hasn't. Told her I love her and want her back home. Please can someone give me advice. Her dad is sending her to a child pycatrist out their.. But I feel it's all an excuse to keep her. Don't know what's going on why she hates me I don't know. She just says please let me live here... And I know why she hates me. Which I really don't know why xxx

The child truly may perfer the new country "right now" most likely the last 6 weeks was like Disneyland, travel, sightseeing. Real life has not happened, dad has not had to yell at her for not putting clothes away, he has not grounded her for not doing homework.
He is right now the "fun" parent. This is very common.

But yes, you will need to work to enforce your custody order.

Thank you for your quick respons.
I was a bit tuff with her latly with homework etc.
She's a very brite chiled.
I'm flying out to visit her in a week to go to pycia gist with them but she hates me and don't want me their she said.
I told her dad that he is not disaplining her and he said he dose put her in her room when she misbehaves.
But she still wants him.
I did say its Tge sun sea and sand as he lives on the beach.
But it all closes down all the fun in November. He said he will not send her back unless she wants to.
But Tge courts will not take a 8 year to make a choice as she is not mature enough.
I like what you said about Disneyland because I know he has been spoiling her.
I'm so upset that if she keeps insisting she don't want me :((
I hope the child pycatrist can tell her dad that she's just playing up and also because I'm sure she's missed out on her dads love and she is loving that now.
But I don't deserve this and she didn't know what's best for her do you think she will change her mind soon?? Xxx

Dose she have a choice who she lives with as she wants her dad now not me he hasn't been around and now, I'm the bad guy after I have loved her and brought her up? Xx

I also started to go out once aweek she got a bit clingy she didn't like me going out once aweek xxx

First ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area. Second, because this involves 2 countries, you have major problems.

It depends on whether his country has reciprocal agreements with your country as to custody orders. If they do, then he is required to return the child until a court can decide custody. If he wants custody, he has to go to court to have the current order modified.

If there is no reciprocal agreement, they may not honor your custody and not force the child to return with you.

You NEED an attorney who is familiar with international custody law. Before you go there you need to understand what your rights will be.

I'm in london and she's In Cyprus I think the judge desides
But surly if she lies to stays Tge judge can see, sges doing it to stay. Tge Hague convention is helping me... And I think they will call him thus week to send her back voluntary if he doesn't he gets taken to court... I'm going out their so to try see her xx

Most courts will not take what a child that young says into evidence, most require them to be about 12. But then what your court will decide varies, They should order the child back to you and if he wants custody he will have to return to where the current court order is at.

Ok thank you.
I'm flying out to Cyprus next week or two. To try get see her. Tge courts would have phones him by then to see if they will send her back. Then take it from their I guess hope they send her home or he dose so it don't go to court 😓

I'm in london and she's In Cyprus I think the judge desides
But surly if she lies to stays Tge judge can see, sges doing it to stay. Tge Hague convention is helping me... And I think they will call him thus week to send her back voluntary if he dosnt he gets taken to court... I'm going out their so to try see her xx

Ok, So both the UK and Cyprus subscribe to the Hague Convention? Frankly, what I would do is postpone your visit. Before you go there, I would get a court order to bring your daughter back with you. So, if he hasn't sent her back voluntarily, then you can get the Cyprus authorities to help you.

I agree with Chuck, that a court is not likely to put much weight on a child's preference, if they even listen to her. But the psychiatrist's evaluation will be important.

Thank you but the child abduction team Hague convention is getting back to me next week.. I will let you know what happens thank you do much xxx😓😓

Has there ever been custody through the courts ? I don't see that mentioned anywhere. If it has never been decided by the courts and an order issued your going to have a lot tougher time getting your child back.

Thank you for replying
No her dads never had custody
She's always been with me?? xxx

Thank you but the child abduction team Hague convention is getting back to me next week.. I will let you know what happens thank you do much xxx😓😓

That's good, Definitely work with them. Good luck and keep us posted.


Thank you for replying
No her dads never had custody
She's always been with me???xxx

That doesn't quite answer the question. Is she with you by court order?

Sorry..
No she isn't.
She has been with me from birth? x

If there is no court order giving you custody then he has.equal rights to her. Assuming he is listed as the legal father.

A court order will be put in place. But first waiting to see if he sends her back when he gets a call...
I was thinking to go to see her and see if she mite start to let her guard down with me... Make things Easyer

How lOng can it take for me to get her back?
Thank you x

A court order will be put in place. But first waiting to see if he sends her back when he gets a call...
I was thinking to go to see her and see if she mite start to let her gaurd down with me... Make things Easyer

You need to establish legal custody before you go see her. How long that will take depends on local courts.

No I can go see her but her dad won't let me have her unless she wants me but like I said it's all an excuse to keep her .
The abduction team said I can go if I want try talking with her. & they will call me let me know if we got to go to courts and what he has said. The girlfriend has answerd the phone today and told me to visit to make my daughter to try and be normal again with me. The girl friend said in a round about way and it's a shame we can't discuss it like mature adults.. I agree but her dad said its up to his daughter which is a joke. He now.. I think... Regrets making her want to stay.. It's perfetic x The ministry/ child abduction team/Cyprus courts can contact me when I'm out tgeir? Do you not think it's a good idea me going??

Again, I would not go until you have been awarded custody. That's my feeling. It isn't necessary, but I wouldn't do it.

Awarded custody? That means to wait for it to go to the courts their?
Then I have to wait longer to see her! I don't know if I can do that... 😔
It's been weeks since I saw her.
If Tge girl friend meets me with her that's a good thing no??
I understand what your saying...
But I'm sure I have a rite to see her being awarded or not.. No?
Also as Tge girlfriend will meet me with her..?
Otherwise I mute have to wait months if it goes to court and she dose not want me Tgen the judge has to see why... I know I'll get her back in the end because I will not give up. But just don't want it draging on? X

First, you should be filing for custody where YOU live not in Cyprus! That is still her residence. I doubt if she has been in Cyprus long enough to establish residence. Plus you do not want to concede that she lives there. As you have said her home is with you,

Second, I hope you have a solicitor to advise you. I'm at a disadvantage here in that I don't know international law in these matters.

It is still my feeling that youshould only go there with the idea of bringing her back with you. Which is why I advise getting custody first. You should never have let her go there until you had custody.

I will speak with a soliciter again on Monday
Thank you for your help xx
Ps would I need to have her with me? Or dose her dad have to sign papers?
Or can I do it alone?

You don't need her, but he will probably have to be served notice. He might be required to appear or lose by default.

What's loose by default mean ?
Thank you

What's loose by default mean ?
Thank you

If he doesn't appear to fight the custody order, the court may grant you custody.

Omg

When I think a out it when my sister got to a call from him he said the is a court on 27th and that I will have to be their. My sister said what for and she said you are not making sense!!
Do you think he was saying I need to be at a court in Cyprus on 27th to try get me to give him custody... I can't believe it.. So if I don't turn up, he may be given custody?? Or will they see my daughter has on been in Cyprus 9 weeks and they will not give him custody??

Omg

When I think a out it when my sister got to a call from him he said the is a court on 27th and that I will have to be their. My sister said what for and she said you are not making sence!!!
Do you think he was saying I need to be at a court in Cyprus on 27th to try get me to give him custody... I can't beleive it .. So if I don't turn up, he may be given custody ???? Or will they see my daughter has on been in Cyprus 9 weeks and they will not give him custody???

Yes, this is very possible. If he filed for Custody in Cyprus a hearing would have been scheduled. You need to be at that hearing or have a representative there or the courts could award him custody.

You NEED to speak to a solicitor right away. First thing Monday. You do have to be properly served notice of the hearing, so your solicitor may get it delayed on those grounds. Also, I'm not sure if Cyprus would have jurisdiction as I said earlier.

The problem is there is too much going on here. The international aspect of it, and other legal issues. For example, you never told us that there was a court hearing scheduled. We are limited in the help we can give because we don't know all the facts or the laws.

A solicitor can research and see what the hearing on the 27th is about and will know how to deal with it.

My opinion here, for what its worth, is that you will eventually regain custody. But not without a solicitor to help you deal with this.

Keep us posted but act immediately.

Yes, this is very possible. If he filed for Custody in Cyprus a hearing would have been scheduled. You need to be at that hearing or have a representative there or the courts could award him custody.

You NEED to speak to a solicitor right away. First thing Monday. You do have to be properly served notice of the hearing, so your solicitor may get it delayed on those grounds. Also, I'm not sure if Cyprus would have jurisdiction as I said earlier.

The problem is there is too much going on here. The international aspect of it, and other legal issues. For example, you never told us that there was a court hearing scheduled. We are limited in the help we can give because we don't know all the facts or the laws.

A solicitor can research and see what the hearing on the 27th is about and will know how to deal with it.

My opinion here, for what its worth, is that you will eventually regain custody. But not without a solicitor to help you deal with this.

Keep us posted but act immediately.

Yes I will do first thing Monday.
Thank you for all your help

Do you think I could go to court hearing if that is what it is he is talking about and refuse it for him to have custody and I file for custody in Cyprus with a soliciter it will be quicker to get her back home??
I will talk to local authorities and soliciter Monday
X

Do you think I could go to court hearing if that is what it is he is talking about and refuse it for him to have custody and I file for custody in Cyprus with a soliciter it will be quicker to get her back home???
I will talk to local authorities and soliciter Monday
X

No you don't want to do that. The reason is because then Cyprus will hold jurisdiction. What you want is for that jurisdiction they are claiming to have stricken down. Then proceed in your local court so all future matters can be heard there. Not in Cyprus.

I agree with Califdad. This is what I've been telling you. You do NOT want ot legitimize the claim in Cyprus. Even if you do go to the hearing, your position is that she has always lived with you and therefore her country of residence is in the UK. That means the UK has juridiction and Cyprus doesn't. So any custody action has to be done in the UK. I'm sure your solicitor will advise the same.

Ok thank you
For all your help 😔

Why dose my daughter hate me.
Me and her dad broke up when she was 4 and I would be stressed as we were homeless and I would shout. Be to be fair she played up a lot. But she was always attention seeking it was tuff. Her dad came back into her life at 7 and to be honest done a lot of damage wich my daughter will not remember.
Anyway she went to visit him in Cyprus and he wants to keep her I am fight Tge legal way to get her back. Je is going to get taken to court. She now says she hates me and to die and scared to be alone with me. The only thing I can think the reason is because she thinks I will tell her off. But told her I'm not angry with her just so upset Tge way sges spking to me. I'm angry with her dad for letting her have a choice on where to live. She hates me it's hurting so bad I feel I'm not a good mum and I want her back to normal.
Please help x

Why dose my daughter hate me.
Me and her dad broke up when she was 4 and I would be stressed as we were homeless and I would shout. Be to be fair she played up a lot. But she was always attention seeking it was tuff. Her

This is most likely why.

You were stressed and took it out on her (a child). Attention seeking? Seriously? Wow! Can you blame her? She was not only a child, but obviously felt neglected enough to "play it up".

Then you wonder why...

People go through stressful times, however, children at that age should have NO indication of what is going on. They should feel safe and secure regardless if YOU aren't. That is YOUR duty as a parent.

So... why does your daughter hate you? Ask her.

I am now going to report it to the police I have been told that I should have before my soliciter didn't advice me this. So I will tmrw. My daughter now told me after aweek not answering the phone to day they answerd and she Asi she's scared to be alone. I told her she's rude to me and not to be scared. She thinks I'll go mad at her and tell her off. Coz she told be to die like my mum. I'm so upset. Will she regret talking to me like this or even no it's ring and love me again I really hope so in so hurt 😔

Yes your rite she must of felt unsafe
I guess she saw too much!
It couldn't be helped at times.
She told me she hates me because I don't give her attention. That is not true. I think because we have moved every year since she was small it's effected her. And her dad has a big house money etc and can't remember what he done. Made me bankrupt and left Tge country. She said her dads better than me and that if I love her I will let her stay their. I wish I never let her go. I guess I never made her feel safe as a kid then? I feel sick but I don't deserve this 😔

THREADS MeRGED

What can I do to correct things with my daughter. Told her she means the world to me today and more important to me than anyone in the world. She just said if u love me let me live here. & wishes I was dead. I'm in shock. What can I do? 😓

I told her she's rude to me and not to be scared.��

Here is an example of what I was talking about... You are calling her rude, THEN telling her to not be afraid. So, you're insulting her, then backing it up with comfort. You are going about this the wrong way.

How old is she now?

You two need some type of therapeutic supervision before she returns to you. She is afraid of you and your behavior. Children just don't make these things up. You damaged her, whether you think so or not, and here are the results of it.

You seem very unstable as a person AND as a parent. You need to seek professional help.

We are not talking about a spoiled 10 year old girl who didn't get the pink barbie at the store. NO. She is afraid of you. NOW why?

I wish I never let her go. I guess I never made her feel safe as a kid then? I feel sick but I don't deserve this ��

Yes. You do.

Harsh. But true.

Rite... Ok let me get thus clear.. I mean she's afraid of me.. Supervision.. Are you for real. Yes I mite be getting it wrong but what I mean is that I'm telling her I understands if she's all happy their but at the end if day me keep moving is not because I'm unstable it was life throwing at me situations where I had to move. Scared of me.. Coz may be she knows it's wrong to want get dad and helps her block out Tge guilt and her dad brainwashing her.im going to get child pycatrist wich the ministry of justic will help with that as its all got to go to court. And they will see why because I am confused. As for unstable her dad made us homeless then went in to a refuge... Then moved to a temp accommodation and had to move again. So it a but unfair you saying that. I have never hurt my daughter in anyway. May be shouted at times of stress but that is all!!

I don't mean to insult her. She can't tell me drop dead. And it's OK. It's wrong. I'm her mother also I'm sure her dad is grading her lies.ay be I came across insulting but it is wrong for her to say that. And yes I want her to know its not her I'm angry with its her dad letting her have a choice. I went through enough alone. And I get him to keep her just as we were so happy. Tgen I let him back inn and he twists things telling her I ran off with her. What a joke he made us homeless and left Tge countrie. Anyway I guess the chiled pycatrist will see.

Also I want to know why she is the way She is. She hated her dad and I said his your dad he loves you always. Now she hates me?? Don't make sense! All will be settled in court and my daughter will be seen by a mutual pycatrist. And I'm glade. Get to the b

Also I want to know why she is the way She is. She hated her dad and I said his your dad he loves you always. Now she hates me?? Don't make sense! All will be settled in court and my daughter will be seen by a mutual pycatrist. And I'm glade. Get to the bottom of this. Think you for answering. Ps my daughters dad wich I only found out is with mafia so I need to get her home ASAP I told the ministry over here and they are working on it quick. But I can't exactly tell her come home your not safe with your dad.

Also I want to know why she is the way She is. She hated her dad and I said his your dad he loves you always. Now she hates me?? Don't make sense! All will be settled in court and my daughter will be seen by a mutual pycatrist. And I'm glade. Get to the bottom of this. Think you for answering. Ps I teally don't think I need Supervision with my daughter.

Sorry 😊I posted too many times

Thank you for your help
I will keep you posted
Any more advice please post
Please help! Xx

Pss I hope she wants me soon may be its just a bad patch and she enjoying her self. God knows. All she keeps saying she had a big party, going shopping and she's going to go to a great school. All I said was glad your having fun and I love you. But I can allow you to live with you dad. But you can see him on all your holidays. She said if I love her I will let her stay. But I can't I can't physically give her up. I can't do it😓

He ignored all my calls for a while but answerd yesterday. I been calling about 4 times aday 😉I want her dad to know I'm not going to give up on my daughter. She isn't mature enough to know what's best for her. He answerd the phone today because I feel the ministry have been in touch with him. I'll find out tnrw xxxx😘

Do you have an attorney?

How old is she?

Did you sign any paper work when you relinquished her to her father?

Do you have an attorney?

How old is she?

Did you sign any paper work when you relinquished her to her father?
No I didn't sign any paper work.
She's just turned 8 on 9th September
I have the child abduction team helping me. And a soliciter
They will ask him to send her back if he refuses it will go to court. It's wrongfull retention they told me. For keeping her and not sending her back. She had a flight booked which she was not returned on.😓

No I didn't sign any paper work.
She's just turned 8 on 9th September
I have the child abduction team helping me. And a soliciter
They will ask him to send her back if he refuses it will go to court. It's wrongfull retention they told me. For keeping her and not sending her back. She had a flight booked which she was not returned on.😓

I'm going to also report it to the police. Tmrw morning. I read on a site it should be reported which I wasn't told by ministry & abduction team... I have tried to be the best mum I can be considering my circumstances x
She was OK with me till the 4th week of her holiday she started being rude to me. Saying I don't love her or I would let her live their x

I still believe that you two should go to counseling, to help you two form a bond.

Look, I don't know your past circumstances, and I am sorry if I came off harsh in the beginning. I only went based off your first couple of posts, which did seem as if you were blaming her for your unfortunate situations. I DO believe that you love and care about her. Her father could be legit, then again maybe not. I am not familiar with the legalities dealing with this. However, I do know that if you two have shared custody, you can call the police if he refuses to give her back, unless a judge has granted him sole legal custody temporarily. However, that would happen if there was evidence of abuse.

Again, I don't know your past or current situation.

As for communicating with her, you just need to keep reiterating how sorry you were for her past. Also reassure her of your love for her.

Time will tell. There is a lot of healing that needs to happen.

Ok thank you. I will keep you posted
I don't or her dad have custody of her x she lived with me all her life x

The OP started a new thread, which has now been merged with her original thread. It might help you understand what's going on if you review the whole story,

[QUOTE=Zahide;3278991]
I have the child abduction team helping me. And a soliciter
They will ask him to send her back if he refuses it will go to court. It's wrongfull retention they told me. For keeping her and not sending her back. She had a flight booked which she was not returned on.

You said early the abduction team was going to speak to him. Did that happen> If so, what was the result?


I'm going to also report it to the police. Tmrw morning. I read on a site it should be reported which I wasn't told by ministry & abduction team...

Report what to the police? What site did you read that on? I don't believe that will do anything (though I doubt if it will hurt. But your local police really can't do anything. And the Cyprus police probably won't, otherwise the Hauge people would have done that!

What did your solicitor say about the hearing?

The OP started a new thread, which has now been merged with her original thread. It might help you understand what's going on if you review the whole story,



You said early the abduction team was going to speak to him. Did that happen> If so, what was the result?



Report what to the police? What site did you read that on? I don't believe that will do anything (though I doubt if it will hurt. But your local police really can't do anything. And the Cyprus police probably won't, otherwise the Hauge people would have done that!

What did your solicitor say about the hearing?
I'm reporting it because it's also meant to be iligal what his done 😓

What was illegal? His not returning your daughter? Yes and that's why the Hague group got involved. Once they got involved, it was the equivalent of reporting it to the police. As I said, your local police can do nothing. The Foreign Office may be able to do something depending on the treaties the UK has with Cyprus. But the Hague group will know about that. That is probably why no one said anything to you about reporting it to the police.

The problem you have is his filing for custody in Cyprus was the legal way for him to keep her. While there is a pending court case, he is not breaking any laws keeping her.

As I've been saying, your position is that Cyprus doesn't have jurisdiction and that she should be returned to the UK and he needs to file in the UK. Did you talk to your solicitor about that?

I'm waiting for my soliciter to get back to me x
I been to Tge station. And yes your rite. Police can't do anything x😓

The OP started a new thread, which has now been merged with her original thread. It might help you understand what's going on if you review the whole story,



You said early the abduction team was going to speak to him. Did that happen> If so, what was the result?



Report what to the police? What site did you read that on? I don't believe that will do anything (though I doubt if it will hurt. But your local police really can't do anything. And the Cyprus police probably won't, otherwise the Hauge people would have done that!

What did your solicitor say about the hearing?

Ok. Now I have a better understanding.

Ok. Now I have a better understanding.
My solicitor said she can't find out I need to call the courts in Cyprus and the child abduction team can't allocate him. I have his work address this is ridiculess
Now. They are saying I got to wait 😓till they find him 😒

I've had two hearings in Cyprus for my daughter. Her dad now has put forward why he has chose to keep her. I'm now waiting go a reply why he has kept her and fur an oral hearing.
I received a letter from the county court this morning saying its urgent? I need to call them Monday morning.
Dose anyone know what this can be, I thought it would be done all through Cyprus courts, why would county courts want me to contact them in urgent please can someone explain?? Would it be for custody of my daughter?
🙏Pls can someone help x

I will call Monday morning to see what it is x the letter said to the occupant wich I guess it's the person that owns the house and thsts my sister where we live x please if anyone would know what the county court could be x

No clue as to what the county court wants. If it was addressed to Occupant, it is probably unrelated.

What happened at the Cyprus hearings? Was the court made aware that he kept your daughter in violation of a standing custody order and in violation of the Hague convention?

Hi Scott
Thank you for quick response
It has got to do with my daughter because the refrance is my name and a number and Cyprus on the front of letter. Bit it says occupant, so it's like it's not official but its urgent
I don't understand.
As for the hearing, their was a hearing for him to return her then another him exposing why he is not returning her and now I'm waiting for a reply to what he has said but now I'm waiting I got this urgent letter to contact the court here??
I thinking well hoping that its something to help me like me going full custody of her. May be the courts their have contacted courts here about why his reasons are of keeping her and its not good enough reasons to keep her and I get full custody as he has been in Cyprus for too long and she is a British citizen??

You'll just have to wait until Monday sorry to say. Let us know.

Ok I understand. It's a bit confusing.
Because the child abduction team are meant to get bk to me and they haven't.
Ok will let you know 😪😪😪x

Ok, So both the UK and Cyprus subscribe to the Hague Convention? ...

Scott, you do know that Cyprus is, in effect, two countries?

Scott, you do know that Cyprus is, in effect, two countries?

Actually I wasn't aware of that. According to the research I just did, only Turkey recognizes the sovereignty of the Turkish occupied areas. The UN (and ergo, the Hague) recognize the Repiblic of Cypris as the ruling government.

Actually I wasn't aware of that. According to the research I just did, only Turkey recognizes the sovereignity of the Turkish occupied areas. the UN (and ergo, the Hague) recognize the Repiblic of Cypris as the ruling government.

Thank you ill let u all know the out come on Monday... she's on Greek side of Cyprus x

... she's on Greek side of Cyprus

Well, that simplifies it then.