Log in

View Full Version : Getting dumped and feeling lonely in your home


DearlyJ
Sep 13, 2012, 04:52 AM
I have been dumped and I feel so miserable. It feels like I just lost my everything. I have no friends and family. I pushed everyone away during my relationship and now I am totally alone. Everyone warned me that my relationship went off from a wrong start, and that could never end well. I didn't listen. In my relationship,

I was the bad guy.. everything I did was wrong. I used to live at my dads.. Because of the situation at home and me wanting to be close to my boyfriend I moved out. He lived with me until yesterday, when he decided to pack his things and leave. He says he has piece with his decision. I can't just believe this. I know I am not perfect, but I literally did every thing to please him. I cooked, managed all his things about school, looked for jobs for him, always had time for him. Stayed up for him, when he was out. Waited for him when he was at work, for 1,5 hour... He could never wait 5 min. Bought things for him, when they had broken. These things were never done for me. At the end he thanked me for everything. He is a kind person though. I know I did wrong by lying to him about my own past 3 times. After that he took me back, but everything I did was wrong. Even the way I spoke bcame a problem. Tried my best to change a lot of stuff. To do things that would make him happy. But every good I do always has to have a bad side, for him. For instance, I bought him a joystick, cause he's got water in it.. Gave it to him, 5 min.. I say something.. but he doesn't like it.. we fight.. And the good I did, is worthless, useless. It was always "You did this for me, so?" When he used to be sick, I bought him medicine from my last money, leaving me 13 cents on my account. I am a very kind person, I was very kind to him. But I don't think he apreciates me. Feels like no one does.

I don't know why I love him so much. I really do love him. He was my best friend, the only one I had to talk to. Now Im all alone in this apartment feeling sad and lonely. I never had a good relationship with my sister, so I can't call her. She is like a stranger to me. My dad and auntie have travelled. And the will not be here for months They are the ones who warned me the most. I know feel very insecure about a lot of things. I don't even know what to do in life. I had so many plans with my boyfriend. My life was all about him. We are both students. This is my last year at the university. Where am I even going to work? Whom I doing this for? I know this is for myself, but without anyone being supportive of me or proud of me.. I just don't know.. I have lost hope.. I have absolutely no one to talk to..

joypulv
Sep 13, 2012, 05:33 AM
First you need to accept the fact that you brought this on yourself by pushing everyone else away. In almost all cases, someone who does that also invests far too much into the person they are with. They go together. And putting all your effort into one person like that is also almost always doomed to failure, because it puts a burden on the other person to appreciate you so much that it becomes uncomfortable. You give and give and give and the little resentments about not 'getting back' become more and more evident.
The solution?
As fast as you can, reconnect with family (when they get back) and friends, NOW. And learn from your mistakes, and don't be so exclusive again.
Many young people think that absolute total dedication is a sign of their true love - it isn't. You both need lives of your own, with separate interests and friends of your own, to survive for very long, and not turn into martyrs. Be a martyr for a cause, but not for one person.

C0bra_M3nace
Sep 13, 2012, 05:35 AM
Sitting around crying about it isn't gong to make it all better or give you any friends. I don't understand why you love him so much when there's really not much to love he seems ungrateful and spiteful.

Until you realize that it was not meant to be, and that it's now part of the past, you're going to be missing out on the present and future.