My sister is 13 years old and she lives with my mother. She was caught talking to older guys and saying things a 13 year old girl shouldn't even know. As punishment, my mother took away her iPad and internet access. My little sister then began telling one of the kids at school about her home life, which isn't the greatest. He then prompted her to go to the school counselor. When she went to the counselor, she told them everything, and I truly believe my mother is unfit to raise her anymore. DFCS was contacted and my mother was incredibly upset and asked my other sister to take her to our grandmother's house. My mom isn't physically or verbally abusive, but she isn't making sure she gets what she needs and competes school work and stays out of trouble. My uncle is the ideal person to take her, but he had 2 very young children and his wife has said no. I'm not in the best position to take her, but I don't want to see her placed in a stranger's care. I'm 21 and I live with my 23 year old boyfriend, we both have stable jobs and a good home we currently rent. But my boyfriend isn't too keen on the idea. He is an only child and doesn't seem to quite understand why I want to do this. Does anyone know of a place where my mother can get free mental health help? What the procedure is to get my sister? What my mom had to do to keep her? And how to convince my boyfriend to let me have her? Please, all answers are greatly appreciated.

My sister is 13 years old and she lives with my mother. She was caught talking to older guys and saying things a 13 year old girl shouldn't even know. As punishment, my mother took away her iPad and internet access. My little sister then began telling one of the kids at school about her home life, which isn't the greatest. He then prompted her to go to the school counselor. When she went to the counselor, she told them everything, and I truly believe my mother is unfit to raise her anymore. DFCS was contacted and my mother was incredibly upset and asked my other sister to take her to our grandmother's house. My mom isn't physically or verbally abusive, but she isn't making sure she gets what she needs and competes school work and stays out of trouble. My uncle is the ideal person to take her, but he had 2 very young children and his wife has said no. I'm not in the best position to take her, but I don't want to see her placed in a stranger's care. I'm 21 and I live with my 23 year old boyfriend, we both have stable jobs and a good home we currently rent. But my boyfriend isn't too keen on the idea. He is an only child and doesn't seem to quite understand why I want to do this. Does anyone know of a place where my mother can get free mental health help? What the procedure is to get my sister? What my mom had to do to keep her? And how to convince my boyfriend to let me have her? Please, all answers are greatly appreciated.


Step by step - where your mother can get mental health treatment depends on where you live. There is probably a County Health Department which can refer you.

Was your sister taken from your mother's home by DFCS, did she willingly send your sister to your grandmother's, what is the legal situation?

It is possible for you to get guardianship but it would involve a thorough investigation to determine if there is room for her, who would supervise her when you and your boyfriend are working, if you can emotionally and physically care for her. My concern is that you seem to know her living situation with your mother was, at best, unstable, and I don't see that you took steps to protect her. You will have to address that. I would not attempt this without an Attorney.

Where is her father in this situation?

If your boyfriend does not think it is a "good idea" to take in your sister it will be a very bad situation for the three of you. She will sense his resentment, he will be unhappy with you, and he will be unhappy. Your utilities and expenses will increase, and he will be working to support your sister.

Has your mother been given instructions by DFCS concerning having your sister returned to her home? Are there steps she must follow?

As far as convincing your boyfriend - quite frankly, I don't know why you would. You have asked. He has given you his answer. You may not like his answer but out of respect to him and your relationship I would respect his decision and not look for ways to "convince" him. If you succeed in getting custody/guardianship of your sister and he is not 100% behind you there is a good possibility your relationship with your boyfriend will end.

The real question is if they would even let you have custody of your sister with a live in boyfriend. What makes your situation different is what you have said your sister was caught doing. If this was a surprise to you then you really don't know her as well as you think. Having a boyfriend living there could provide temptation for her as he would be part of her rescue. Also since she has been exposed to what appears to be adult level conversation she also could use that as a means to get her way. It would be a bad mix for all of you let alone having the situation as it has already been stated.