Ok here goes... Ive been reading some advice how to get over a relationship and how to get an ex girlfriend back, at this stage I don't know what to do so I'm here for any help anybody can offer, PLEASE BE COMPLETELY HONEST

I met my ex girlfriend around 11 months ago on a friends birthday night out, We hit it off straight away and arranged to go on a date the following weekend, the problem being however I live in Fife and she lives in Edinburgh around 50 minutes by car also she drives but I don't. We still however seen each other every weekend, 1 week I'd go through there and next she would come through to mine.

We really enjoyed each others company the sex was amazing until 6 months down the line she suddenly started to pull back from the relationship and was much more closed off than before, short text answers etc, she said "i wasn't the right person for her" so we broke up, No contact for 1 week and suddenly she started texting all over again with "What are you doing" Who are you with" questions obviously missing me and it progressed into texting like it was before and she came to my house to talk things over and we were back together.

Everything was rosey and we were back on track until 3 months down the line again she started to pull back and not seem interested in the relationship, I know from before i was far too nice so i let her know i wasn't standing for this and she took offence and again called things off.

A few days after we split up i went on Holiday, had a great time but always with her at the back of my mind, a week after i got back from holiday i met another girl, who was sexy, fun, we had alot in common and i was excited about the start of something new UNTIL my ex started to text me again, my ex and i ended up talking on the phone for a long while and sorted alot of things out and turns out we both had taken some things the wrong way for example she says " she was very stressed from work and its like I don't care I just make a stupid comment" i am a very laid back person and like to keep things light and fun.

I was on a night out with freinds near to where she lives a few days later and ended up staying the night at her house, truthfully just expecting a night of fun however she asked if the following weekend if i would go to the festival with her, we did and had a great time the following weekend we went for a meal at a hotel and talked about the future, i thought things were going great again, following weekend we had a chilled out friday as we were both very tired from busy weeks, i left saturday and a few days of no contact from her she phoned and accused me of making hurtful comments about her being tired, she must have taken this as i thought she was boring, like i said previously i like to have fun make joking comments however i had meant we were both tired, so again she said it wasnt working and called it off

This was 2 weeks ago tomorrow, i had said leave me alone and give me space when she decided to call it off again, she has done this until out the blue on Friday morning she text me again asking "how are you" what have you been doing" etc, I resisted texting back until Saturday with a short reply and not asking any questions of my own, however I have been thinking a lot about her these last few days and again I want to be with her, also when we got back together I blow off the other girl I met in a bad way and she has made it clear she wants nothing to do with me, I don't blame her to be honest.

My ex has said she is very attracted to me, really loves being with me but she can't see it working in the long run but she doesn't know why, she is so indecisive! I can't understand how we can go from talking about our future to a week later its off again. The sex was always as good if not better and hotter at the end, I thought no sex was a sign of a bad relationship, like I said before I was far too nice so last 3 or 4 months I took her off the pedestal and was much more assertive however she then said I always told her what to do, can't ever win! She always keeps things in and never wants to talk about herself which is a big problem, I don't know how many times I've said don't let small things built and built until they all snowball just say when something is bothering you and ill help, I still love her!

I really don't know what to do at this stage
Try and make things work? If so how should I go about trying to get her back?
Walk away? If so how do you get over a break up?
Any more questions please ask! And again PLEASE BE COMPLETELY HONEST!!

Thanks to all

It didn't work out the first time, what makes you think a second will be any different? Getting back together with an ex is seldom a good idea. Sure some get back together and live happily ever after, but the odds are against it.

You need to move on, go completely no contact and live you life. No contact means exactly that, don't talk to, message, write, think or even speak to her if you see her. Breakups are easier said than done but in the end it's you that decides how easy it's going to be. Distract yourself, hang out with friends, try some new things, sign up for a new club and let time go to work.

It didn't work out the first time, what makes you think a second will be any different? Getting back together with an ex is seldom a good idea. Sure some get back together and live happily ever after, but the odds are against it.

You need to move on, go completely no contact and live you life. No contact means exactly that, don't talk to, message, write, think or even speak to her if you see her. Breakups are easier said than done but in the end it's you that decides how easy it's going to be. Distract yourself, hang out with friends, try some new things, sign up for a new club and let time go to work.

Hi, thanks for your response!

I don't know what it is but there is something deep inside that says we can "live happily ever after"

It seems every time the honeymoon period things are fantastic between us then we that ends and things get serious she gets scared and really backs off

Her Dad left when she was younger and she had to look after her sisters so I think she is scared to get serious and let somebody in because she's scared of being hurt, she has also said she finds it very hard to trust men

That is my opinion

Hi, thanks for your response!

I dont know what it is but there is something deep inside that says we can "live happily ever after"

It seems everytime the honeymoon period things are fantastic between us then we that ends and things get serious she gets scared and really backs off

Her Dad left when she was younger and she had to look after her sisters so i think she is scared to get serious and let somebody in because shes scared of being hurt, she has also said she finds it very hard to trust men

That is my opinion

You know her better than any of us but do you think she'll ever change? If her problem lies within the insecurities of her past she has to realize there's a problem and want to fix it. Something as deep as that needs to be tended to by a professional. Otherwise she's just going to be this way for the rest of her life and unable to commit.

If you think there's hope that's your decision but where is this "something deep inside" coming from? I fear that it's not based on any rational thinking but of the love your heart still craves from her.

You know her better than any of us but do you think she'll ever change? If her problem lies within the insecurities of her past she has to realize there's a problem and want to fix it. Something as deep as that needs to be tended to by a professional. Otherwise she's just going to be this way for the rest of her life and unable to commit.

If you think there's hope that's your decision but where is this "something deep inside" coming from? I fear that it's not based on any rational thinking but of the love your heart still craves from her.

That is a good Question, I have mentioned this before but if she realises she has a problem I don't know, She has to admit a problem before she can even want to or try to fix it

It is a feeling I have inside we can be happy together, we have so much in common, we both want the same things from life.

You are right though it is not based on rational thinking but when you want somebody it never normally is! It is a very good way to put it though "not based on any rational thinking but of the love your heart still craves from her", In the first initial week of the break up I can honestly say I never give her 1 minutes thought let alone want to be with her but since she text, this whole weekend I have missed her a lot and (probably wrongly) started to think of the what ifs.

There's always a time to stand up and fight for what you want but sometimes you need to know when to say enough is enough, I really don't know what to do, go no contact and I know time will heal all wounds or try get communication going then arrange a meet, who knows what she wants but I know her and even if she is desperate to meet etc she will never say it until we are face to face

Thanks for your replies and help again, reading this god I sound pathetic! This has helped getting everything out my system

That is a good Question, I have mentioned this before but if she realises she has a problem i don't know, She has to admit a problem before she can even want to or try to fix it

It is a feeling i have inside we can be happy together, we have so much in common, we both want the same things from life.

You are right though it is not based on rational thinking but when you want somebody it never normally is! It is a very good way to put it though "not based on any rational thinking but of the love your heart still craves from her", In the first initial week of the break up i can honestly say i never give her 1 minutes thought let alone want to be with her but since she text, this whole weekend i have missed her alot and (probably wrongly) started to think of the what ifs.

There's always a time to stand up and fight for what you want but sometimes you need to know when to say enough is enough, i really dont know what to do, go no contact and i know time will heal all wounds or try get communication going then arrange a meet, who knows what she wants but i know her and even if she is desperate to meet etc she will never say it until we are face to face

Thanks for your replies and help again, reading this god i sound pathetic! this has helped getting everything out my system

I recommend moving on, although in the end it is your decision.

It sounds as if she has no idea why she's doing this and I don't see her changing anytime soon. It's going to take a lot more than you just telling her what might be the issue, she needs to figure that part out herself.

Thanks, I will go no contact and try move forward in my life, its not going to be easy but I have to tell myself I deserve better.

Thanks for your help I really appreciate it

Thanks, i will go no contact and try move forward in my life, its not going to be easy but i have to tell myself i deserve better.

Thanks for your help i really appreciate it

Keep in touch. Updates are always nice. I wish you the best of luck my friend!