I am struggling with saying the word no or saying what I think to people. What happens is I start to think about what I need to say and why I can't say it. Most of these thoughts are from what I learned as a child.
This is affecting me negatively as I am being taken advantage of but feel helpless to do anything. I get anxious and full of panic of confrontation or sticking up for myself.
I did learn these skills in DBT and know them but not sure if it is willfulness or what that is stopping me from improving. All of the other skills I have been able to use but this one.
I just don't know how to start. I know baby steps but how when my thoughts are so overpowering.
Some examples are : you will hurt the other person by saying that, fighting leads to violence, you don't deserve to speak up and so on.

In order to say no, you don't have to go into an explanation or make excuses or apologize. Often just the word "no" is good enough.

WG even that is anxiety provoking. I just wish I could let someone hear the thoughts and how many there are. Maybe then I could be shown. This one skill is proving to be so challenging and I am determined to get it. I am just not sure how yet. I am graduated DBT on the 11 and thinking of taking CBT for thoughts and learning how to tell judgements from facts. I will find out more on the 11th.
I still need to figure out how to stop the thoughts, the anxiety and the panic so I can say no. One good example is if a long time member posts something and I think it is wrong I so want to post but then the thoughts come. I have managed to overcome it a few times but to be honest it proved to be very overwhelming and I was full of fear I would be banned or asked to leave. No one has ever said that to me but it is a thought I do have.