Can a 16 year old choose not to live with her father who abandoned her and her sister while their mom was ill with cancer. She recently died on August 8, 2012 and he showed up the day after. He told them they could go and live with their grandmother in NJ and he would bring their stuff to them later. He now changed his mind for some reason and filed a custody order. He is very abusive to her and he now is planning to move the mistress in to the home and he wants custody of the 16 year old and she is terrified of him. We want her to come to live with us because we are the only family she has left. What are her chances of coming to live with us.

Generally NO, they have no legal say in the matter as a minor. The only legal way is to convince the court to change the custody order... that's going to take time and its going to take money.

Who are you to her? ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area.

You will probably have to file a counter petition for custody. At 16 her preferences will be listened to but it will be up to the court.