My first love who is the father of my 16 year daughter has come back in the picture. He has been very supportive of her financially but has never been there much physically. He and I are both married and having problems in our marriages.

Several months ago we began to share our feelings about our past and about our relationships with our spouses. We are both struggling in our marriages but holding on because we have other children involved.

I never stopped loving him, but I thought the relationship was over. He says he loves me too. We are now having an affair and today I tested positive on a home pregnancy test.

He is okay about the baby but wants me to not say anything to his wife, which I was not planning to do. My husband has no idea, but his wife intercepted a voice mail from me, informing him. He denied it.

What now? We have our 16 year old to worry about as well.

Oh what a tangled mess it is for you, I can't believe he told you not to tell his wife because he don't want her to know.. THIS IS INCREDIBLY IGNORANT OF HIM... You have to fess up to your husband now and that is going to be the hardest thing you ever done in life... You must tell him for the following reasons alone..

What if that baby later in life needs a donor and then he finds out?
What about the child itself when the child learns and trust me he/she will find out that your husband is not the real father?
What about you can you honestly bear the stress of having to lie?
How will you ever be sure who is the father?

This ex of yours from reading this proves he values his wife above all else or he is face it just worried about having to support another child.

That ex helped as well as you did to get you into this mess and YES HE SHOULD HAVE TO GO THROUGH WHAT YOU ARE

I really must be getting old now because I have and always will say cheating is wrong and when you play then the two cheaters do get caught and get burned

NOW I feel sorry for that baby to be and the spouses who were cheated on.. and you and the ex need to both fess up to your actions.. better now than later I say

Time to fess up.

So far its all been about you and him. You have been selfish and, yes I know this is harsh, cowardly. The term fits the actions.

Deny it now? Really? Lies to cover deceit and lies?

Too late to worry about hurting the 16 year old. That happened the second you dropped your pants.

There isn't anything easy about what you need to do next. Time to fess up and let the spouses know the situation. Anything less is more of the same... selfish and cowardly.

It IS that simple.

When you play with fire you are going to get burnt.


It sounds like it is time for you and your ex to grow up, take ownership of your actions and come clean to your spouses. You have been taking the easy way out for awhile now... and look where it got you. You need to do what is best for ALL of your children... even the unborn child.

Lies and deception only breed more lies and deception which is not a good environment for anybody, let alone a child. COME CLEAN!

You couldn't do it right the first time and you still haven't learned a thing. Now your back to square one, raising a child with out the father living there. All the kids growing up confused with no direction.