Log in

View Full Version : Is it normal for my boyfriend and I to have sex every time we see each other?


42212
Sep 2, 2012, 09:13 PM
My boyfriend and I have been together for four months going on five and every time we see each other (if my period isn't on) we have sex. I don't think the relationship is based on sex because we genuinely love and care for each other. Any advice for me? If you plan on judging me and my situation don't even bother answering because I have no time for negativity!

J_9
Sep 2, 2012, 09:27 PM
How old are the two of you?

42212
Sep 2, 2012, 09:34 PM
I'm 14 and he's 19.

stanmatt
Sep 2, 2012, 09:42 PM
Hmm why do you say you care about each other, what other things do you do for each other

42212
Sep 2, 2012, 09:44 PM
I Say It Because It's True .

teacherjenn4
Sep 2, 2012, 09:45 PM
Are your parents aware of your sexual relationship?

42212
Sep 2, 2012, 09:47 PM
No , but my grandpop knows we're together.

teacherjenn4
Sep 2, 2012, 09:48 PM
And your parents?

42212
Sep 2, 2012, 09:50 PM
They aren't around.

backpack2389
Sep 2, 2012, 09:50 PM
It's normal for your libido to be sky high at the beginning of a new relationship. What's not normal is your age difference. I know you don't want negativity but it has to be said... Not only is a 19 year old having sex with a 14 year old illegal but I think it verges on pedophilia. If you're worried about your relationship being based on sex I think you're justified because how much can a 19 year old young man have in common with a girl just barely in her teens. I advise you get a boyfriend at least a few years younger and please, for the sake of your future, use contraception. In fact, double up on it.

stanmatt
Sep 2, 2012, 09:52 PM
Backpack says the truth, lay all the facts here so we know if your love for each other is true or he is just using you for sex

teacherjenn4
Sep 2, 2012, 09:55 PM
They aren't around.

You don't want to hear anything negative, but I think your boyfriend is committing a crime because you are underage. You should be more concerned about becoming pregnant and having your child's father in jail for this.

42212
Sep 2, 2012, 10:03 PM
Pedophilia? Are You Serious? There Is Girls My Age Dating Way Older Guys Then This , We Have A Five Year Age Difference Big Deal , You Sound Real Judgemental !

teacherjenn4
Sep 2, 2012, 10:08 PM
Pedophilia? Are You Serious? There Is Girls My Age Dating Way Older Guys Then This , We Have A Five Year Age Difference Big Deal , You Sound Real Judgemental !
We are judgmental because he is an adult and you are 14. In many states, this is a crime.

42212
Sep 2, 2012, 10:08 PM
[QUOTE=teacherjenn4;3257589]You don't want to hear anything negative, but I think your boyfriend is committing a crime because you are underage. You should be more concerned about becoming pregnant and having your child's father in jail for this.

Well If " Committing A Crime " Is What You Want to Call It Fine And Neither One Of Us Are Stupid , I Know How To Prevent Pregnancy And Nothing You Just Said Answered My Question , So If You Don't Plan On Doing That Kick Rocks !

42212
Sep 2, 2012, 10:09 PM
backpack says the truth, lay all the facts here so we know if your love for each other is true or he is just using you for sex

If the love wasn't true we wouldn't be together clearly !

teacherjenn4
Sep 2, 2012, 10:12 PM
[QUOTE=teacherjenn4;3257589]You don't want to hear anything negative, but I think your boyfriend is committing a crime because you are underage. You should be more concerned about becoming pregnant and having your child's father in jail for this.

Well If " Committing A Crime " Is What You Wanna Call It Fine And Neither One Of Us Are Stupid , I Know How To Prevent Pregnancy And Nothing You Just Said Answered My Question , So If You Don't Plan On Doing That Kick Rocks !
What birth control is 100 percent effective?

42212
Sep 2, 2012, 10:13 PM
[QUOTE=42212;3257602]
What birth control is 100 percent effective?

Did I Ever Say I Was On Birth Control? Because I Don't Recall .

J_9
Sep 2, 2012, 10:14 PM
The LAW in your location says that this man, yes he is a man, is committing a sexual crime and could be put away for a very long time. He could also carry the label of a sex offender for the rest of his life.

I understand that you agree to have sex with him, but the LAW says that he is committing statutory rape.

Have you ever heard the term "jail bait?" Well, you are jail bait and he is the predator.

J_9
Sep 2, 2012, 10:15 PM
Did I Ever Say I Was On Birth Control? Because I Don't Recall .

So you are trying to get pregnant?

42212
Sep 2, 2012, 10:17 PM
The LAW in your location says that this man, yes he is a man, is committing a sexual crime and could be put away for a very long time. He could also carry the label of a sex offender for the rest of his life.

I understand that you agree to have sex with him, but the LAW says that he is committing statutory rape.

Have you ever heard the term "jail bait?" Well, you are jail bait and he is the predator.

Have you ever heard of the term " DON'T BE JUDGEMENTAL" And Yes I Understand IT'S THE LAW BUT IDGAF!!

J_9
Sep 2, 2012, 10:18 PM
If you plan on judging me and my situation don't even bother answering because I have no time for negativity!

42212, we aren't judging you, we are judging the man who is having statutory rape with a minor. You are too young and immature to understand how serious this situation is.

backpack2389
Sep 2, 2012, 10:19 PM
If you want to ignore the pedophilia part of my original comment you can do that. When I made that comment, it was not to mock your relationship, but was intended for your benefit. Young girls being taken advantage of and left broken hearted by older guys is an old story and when I saw your age difference my first thought was "I hope she doesn't get hurt."

Anyway, I did try to answer your question and make a point that I think you should consider. First, I said that being completely infatuated with a new partner is very normal. As is having intense sexual feelings for them. But, from your post, you seem to worry that you and your boyfriend are having a great sexual relationship at the expense of a great emotional relationship. If that is your worry, then consider these questions. When you two talk, what is it about? Your dreams or future ambitions? Do you have soulful conversations or is it more small talk? Is he willing to spend time with when you don't want to have sex? Does he get impatient or seem annoyed if you don't want sex? Depending on how you answer these questions, you might get an idea of what is really holding your relationship together.

42212
Sep 2, 2012, 10:23 PM
If you want to ignore the pedophilia part of my original comment you can do that. When I made that comment, it was not to mock your relationship, but was intended for your benefit. Young girls being taken advantage of and left broken hearted by older guys is an old story and when I saw your age difference my first thought was "I hope she doesn't get hurt."

Anyway, I did try to answer your question and make a point that I think you should consider. First, I said that being completely infatuated with a new partner is very normal. As is having intense sexual feelings for them. But, from your post, you seem to worry that you and your boyfriend are having a great sexual relationship at the expense of a great emotional relationship. If that is your worry, then consider these questions. When you two talk, what is it about? Your dreams or future ambitions? Do you have soulful conversations or is it more small talk? Is he willing to spend time with when you don't want to have sex? Does he get impatient or seem annoyed if you don't want sex? Depending on how you answer these questions, you might get an idea of what is really holding your relationship together.
There is more to our relationship than sex .

J_9
Sep 2, 2012, 10:25 PM
There is more to our relationship than sex .

To you there may be, but to him it's all about having a young girl at his beck and call.

Why don't you try saying NO and see how long he hangs around.

teacherjenn4
Sep 2, 2012, 10:25 PM
You have started many threads today: one about being murdered in a dream, one about sex with your boyfriend, one about age difference between you and your boyfriend, and another about starting high school. You want advice, but only certain answers are allowed?

42212
Sep 2, 2012, 10:26 PM
So you are trying to get pregnant?

No, I'm not trying to get pregnant!

backpack2389
Sep 2, 2012, 10:27 PM
"There is more to our relationship than sex."

Okay, if you really believe that then what are you worried about? You love him, he loves you and you have a great (albeit illegal) sexual relationship right now. Why are you worried if you feel so confident that everything in your relationship is great?

J_9
Sep 2, 2012, 10:29 PM
No, I'm not trying to get pregnant!

Are you using protection? Preferably 2 or 3 kinds?

42212
Sep 2, 2012, 10:30 PM
"There is more to our relationship than sex."

Okay, if you really believe that then what are you worried about? You love him, he loves you and you have a great (albeit illegal) sexual relationship right now. Why are you worried if you feel so confident that everything in your relationship is great?

I'm not worried , well actually I don't know how to feel.

42212
Sep 2, 2012, 10:31 PM
Are you using protection? Preferably 2 or 3 kinds?

We've used protection a few times, but mainly unprotected.

backpack2389
Sep 2, 2012, 10:39 PM
Okay, then I return to one of my earlier messages to you. Take a little time to think hard about your relationship. Consider some of the questions I suggested. If you find yourself feeling uneasy about the answers (for example, you think that he doesn't spend much time with you outside of sex) then maybe, at least for him even if not for you, the relationship is based on sex. Of course, you're the one who knows what is really going on in the relationship. You're the one who has to look out for yourself and make good decisions (especially if your parents aren't around). If you really think your relationship is built on true connection and understanding, love and respect, then you shouldn't have doubts.

There is a saying that goes something like... "Girls have sex to have relationships. Boys have relationships to have sex." I hope that phrase doesn't apply to your situation, that he isn't just using you. But, even if it's just in case, make sure to look out for yourself (i.e. ALWAYS!! Use protection, at least two kinds... unless you're ready for disease or a baby)

42212
Sep 2, 2012, 11:14 PM
We'll See .

42212
Sep 2, 2012, 11:22 PM
Okay, then I return to one of my earlier messages to you. Take a little time to think hard about your relationship. Consider some of the questions I suggested. If you find yourself feeling uneasy about the answers (for example, you think that he doesn't spend much time with you outside of sex) then maybe, at least for him even if not for you, the relationship is based on sex. Of course, you're the one who knows what is really going on in the relationship. You're the one who has to look out for yourself and make good decisions (especially if your parents aren't around). If you really think your relationship is built on true connection and understanding, love and respect, then you shouldn't have doubts.

There is a saying that goes something like..."Girls have sex to have relationships. Boys have relationships to have sex." I hope that phrase doesn't apply to your situation, that he isn't just using you. But, even if it's just in case, make sure to look out for yourself (i.e., ALWAYS!!! use protection, at least two kinds... unless you're ready for disease or a baby)

We'll see , I guess

Sam66
Sep 3, 2012, 12:20 AM
This is very sad. In maybe 5 years you will see how messed up this guy really is. I'm sure you're lovely but regardless, no 19 year old should want to be with a 14 year old. When you get pregnant, people are going to think you are a slut and you won't get to do any of the fun things that young people get to do. The father of your child will be a paedophile. Once there's a baby, and people find out about your relationship, he won't be sticking around to get in trouble. You poor thing.

stanmatt
Sep 3, 2012, 01:03 AM
I just hope its true love for the both of you

Fr_Chuck
Sep 3, 2012, 04:38 AM
No true love here, she is being used for sex, If she was to close the sex factory he would be gone in no time. If he really loved her, he would be OK with sex only once in a while and actually dating and going out doing things.

Of course he does not care about protection, she gets pregnant he will be gone in minutes leaving her with a baby to raise.

It is obvious she does not want to hear the truth, only wants people to agree with her

42212
Sep 26, 2012, 07:58 AM
No true love here, she is being used for sex, If she was to close the sex factory he would be gone in no time. If he really loved her, he would be ok with sex only once in a while and actually dating and going out doing things.

Of course he does not care about protection, she gets pregnant he will be gone in minutes leaving her with a baby to raise.

It is obvious she does not want to hear the truth, only wants people to agree with her

Do You Know Him Or I Personally Enough To Say That ? No You Don't , And He Doesn't Ask Me For Sex Sweetheart It's Something That Happens On Both Parts , Who Are You To Say If He Loves Me Or Not Because Of That ? You're an Ignorant And Judgemental Person! Don't Bother EVen Commenting go get a life!

Curlyben
Sep 26, 2012, 08:05 AM
As the OP clearly does not want to listen to reason and is a willing participant in enabling a sexual crime, and would rather be combative.
This thread is now
http://mvny.org/images/closed.gif