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lovejusthappens
Sep 2, 2012, 06:32 AM
HI,
I am a Punjabi girl aged 25. A guy came in my life 7 months back, he is a Hindu Brahmin aged 27.

He joined our gym 7 months back & from the very first day he got crazy for me. The very 3rd day of his joining the gym he stopped me in the parking area & offered me for friendship & asked me about my contacts detail, but I ignored him & said no to him as I thought he is any kind of temporary Romeo.

He did not stopped trying & was madly badly behind me.. use to get crazy & lost at my one look.. & started stalking me till home from gym. Due to this I made a management complaint against him, he stopped all those things for few days with fear of losing his membership of gym as that was the only source of seeing me . I also sent some of my guy friends to beat him, but luckily he went out of town that day & was not hurt. But in the gym every one knows that I sent some guys to beat him even he knew this.

But still his efforts did not stopped.. He tried everyday for regular 3 MONTHS, & then after 3 months I accepted his add request on a social networking site, &since then we were in touch through phone also.. & the very first day of our conversation he proposed me & wanted to get married.. since last 4 months there was not a single day when he did not said me to get a court marriage done .

But I am quite a family person I always said him no no a big no.. because of religion matter.. n said him my mom will not allow this ,so last month he came to my place to talk to my mom regarding our relation & to take her permission, seeing at his immense and intense feeling my mom said she will say yes if he will be able to convince his family.

He even tried that for me very very hard…but he belongs to a very influential but orthodox family.. who will never allow him to marry him out of religion. Earlier he use to say marry me we will manage it later because once we will get married both of our parents have to accept us.I was his foremost priority , more then his family. Mean while I started liking him a lot.

But last week his family black-mailed him completely & his mom also black-mailed him by saying she will commit suicide if he will marry out of religion. His father is very influential & said him that he will cancel his license & will ruin his career. He works at his own but need father's support for his work .He said he needs few years to become completely independent , now when I'm ready for it.

He is so dam afraid of all the black-mailing & torture that was taking place at his home all these days that he said that he quits.. coz things won't work ever, now since the family knows about us things even won't work in the future, but he loves me madly and badly today also, & at times cry over phone, because of fear of losing me.. & till today there is not a single day since last 7 months that he didn't followed me till home.

I said him I'll wait for you & after that we will get married when you will be independent, but he is so dam broken & afraid of his family pressure that now he is afraid of the word marriage.

I really don't want to lose my desperate lover. Will things ever work out??
Was I just a crush in his life?? What can be done to convince his family??
Or to convince him that both of us will get married after few years & then can tell the family??

Please help….

Wondergirl
Sep 2, 2012, 11:54 AM
If he cannot separate himself from his family and their threats, I don't see any good outcome for this relationship. My advice is that you heal from this and move on in your life.

Fr_Chuck
Sep 2, 2012, 06:36 PM
His mom would not kill herself, but yes dad may cut him off. So if he is not willing to lose everything and start over with you, he does not love you enough anyway. Real love would not let it stop them.

lovejusthappens
Sep 2, 2012, 11:41 PM
But I fail to understand that when I use to warn him of all these outcomes.. he use to say we will handle it because what matters is us being together... & I was head -strong against this relation.. but he made endless efforts to woo me.. & to make a space and my heart.. then why such reaction??
Is it that I should give him a break for few days to overcome his fears.. because he has made endless efforts for me & somewhere at the corner of my heart I feel its my turn to make efforts for this relation now... because as yet I did nothing for it... every move was his move...
Please help...

lovejusthappens
Sep 3, 2012, 09:11 AM
One more thing.. when we were rather when he was on drive to convince my mother.. for this relationship he once said to me that if my mom will not get convinced he will convert his religion... he even said this to my mom.. n my mom got melted & accepted him the way he is...
Shall I offer him rather his parents to get converted into his religion.. cause though my family is religious but I do believe in only one religion and that is humanity.. please please help